Show Me Love
by SouthernStateOfMind
Summary: A/U. Emily Fields meets Paige McCullers senior year of college. As their friendship develops the 2 cannot deny their feelings. Story involves ups and downs through the years. They share an intense love. I'm a Paily fan; remember that through the "downs." I'm not the best at summaries. My talents lie elsewhere I suppose. Writing? You tell me. M as story develops.
1. Chapter 1

**If any of you seeing this read my other two fics, **_**Carolina Crush **_**and **_**Unexpected Twist of Fate,**_** thanks for taking the time to read them. Triple that gratitude if you took the time to comment, like, fav, etc. These simple gestures, good or bad, really do help the writer, I think anyway.**

**Y'all, I'm terrible at summaries and they only give us so many characters...frustrating. ****Ok quickly, this chapter is heavy in Emily background; needed to get the foundation of this fic started there. Just hear her out…**

**First two chapters are done so here we go…one then two...**

**Chapter 1**

I started noticing it in middle school; subtle differences between me and other girls. Not bad different, rather, just different. No one else suspected, or if they did they wouldn't dare say anything. But I knew; I felt it with every ounce of conviction.

In my younger years I didn't think anything of it. I didn't even know what IT was. I didn't have much interest in boys. When my friends talked about their crushes I would go along with it. I was just late to catch up. Eventually I'll have the same interests. At some point a boy at my school would capture my attention. It was bound to happen.

And it did to a degree. I dated around in high school; boys from my school, boys out of district, boys in college. If I'm honest, I'll admit that I was kind of a flirt. Ok, not kind of. I WAS a flirt. Yes, there, I said it. It was completely harmless and I in no way intended to lead anyone on. I was someone who simply got a lot of attention. I was a varsity athlete in every sport I competed starting my sophomore year. I was from a very well-respected family. I was part of the "it" group at school. I was nice, approachable, and funny. Those traits must add up to someone people are drawn to, I guess.

No one could ever suspect that I started to have thoughts and feelings that I buried so deep inside me that at times I could almost feel them struggle to break free. To say to the world, "Emily Fields is attracted to girls!" I still hadn't made the connection that what that really meant is that I was gay, but I knew enough to keep my mouth shut about it.

Towards the beginning of junior year I began to form a very tight friendship with Ben, a boy in my grade. I got to know Ben really well by the second semester. We were practically inseparable.

Ben asked me after school one day to get coffee with him. "Just the two of us" he specified. We had fun laughing, talking…like we always did. And then he laid it on me. Ben didn't want to be just friends anymore. He wanted something more. He told me he had liked me for a long time and hoped I felt the same.

I told him I would think about it and I did- a lot. My best friends, Hanna; Spencer; and Aria, encouraged me to go for it. The best relationships start out as friendships they say, right? If that's true, who better for me than Ben…and so I jumped in to that new, uncharted water with him.

Senior year Ben and I became Rosewood's "it couple." Everyone thought we were SO cute. Admittedly, we were. I knew it, he knew it...everyone knew it. I was comfortable with Ben, it was easy. However, we weren't as physical as some other people our age. They were having sex and he and I were not. We messed around, but I had zero desire to go all the way there. I played it off like I wasn't ready but the truth was I simply didn't want to. I loved him, I really did, but I had to admit that I wasn't IN LOVE with him. But I hung in there, and so did he because he loved me and we were "Ben and Emily."

The end of senior year came and with that, the end to our relationship. I was going away to Penn State, and he was staying in Rosewood to attend Hollis. It made the decision to breakup much easier to explain. I'd rather give him that reasoning as opposed to "I'm sorry, I love you but not in the way you love me", or better yet, "I can't even remotely think about being more physical with you."

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That summer, before I left for Penn, I spent a week volunteering in Haiti with a few of my friends from the swim team. It was there, with another girl on the trip, that I would begin to come to terms with who I am.

I can't even remember her name. I'm not entirely sure I knew it then. We barely spoke to each other. But when she did speak to me, jeez, the Earth's plates shifted below me. It rocked my world. I had never blatantly been hit on by another girl until then. And I liked it. Wow, did I like it.

I remember it all so clearly. She walked past me as our group was heading towards a home we were building and whispered, "You're gorgeous," and smiled. Her words were like an electrical shock. I was immediately buzzing from the energy they caused in my body. A few days later we found ourselves alone in a supply closet of the compound we were staying at for the week. I could barely make eye contact with her. She stepped towards me and said, "You look hot today and that tank top is just so…" and then she bit her bottom lip sensually.

I was intimidated by her boldness, but I also found it thrilling. I had never quite felt that way before. She excited me and that's when the light bulb went on. This stranger…this GIRL, got my heart racing and made me want to do things I'd never before admitted that I wanted.

I began to wonder what it would be like to kiss her. What would her lips feel like? Would I reciprocate if she made a move? Did I WANT her to make a move? Yeah, I kinda did. She didn't…make a move that is. But for the first time ever I recognized what was missing. I wanted a girl, like really.

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So all's well and good, right? I went off into the sunset as a happy new lesbian. Sorry to disappoint, but no; I did not. I dug a new hole inside myself and buried this affirmation deep.

I was still in denial. Why? Not sure. Actually, I did know, but I didn't want to acknowledge my weakness. I was too afraid of what my friends and family would think. Their happiness in believing they knew everything about me and in turn, living the life they expected of me, meant more than my happiness with another girl.

For three years I did this. During my freshman, sophomore, and junior years at Penn State I was a major player. I still didn't sleep with any of the guys I dated but boy did I burn through them. At the lowest point I counted that I was up to dating six guys at one time, as if I had something to prove, if not to everyone else, then to myself. I wasted so much time.

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**Penn State, Senior Year, 2009**

By now, some of my friends have started seriously dating. They are in love with their boyfriends…and I of course, am not. Things can't keep going like this. I want that kind of love too. And I am ready to be honest enough with myself to concede that I am not going to find that with any guys.

I just returned to Penn after summer break back home in Rosewood. I made the decision while I was home that this year will be different. I will not shy away from who I am and what I want. I have a positive outlook for the first time in a long while.

I realized when I got to my apartment that I left my contact solution back home at my parent's house. That means a trip to the store this afternoon because I definitely can't go without that.

I gathered up the items that I need and stood in line to wait at the checkout counter. The lady in front of me had an item that must have been missing the price tag. The cashier called for help and in less than a minute another employee walked up to see what she needed.

As the two of them spoke, I took a minute to admire the girl. She was about my height with a slim, athletic build. Her hair hung to just past her shoulders and it was a beautiful chestnut color. Her eyes looked fairly dark from where I stood, probably a dark brown if I had to guess. I could sense intensity in her as she spoke to the cashier. I got the impression that whatever this girl set her mind to; she gave it all she had.

The girl quickly walked away to go check the item. When she returned she told the cashier what the price was and started to walk back the direction she came. Before she did, she looked up and our eyes met. I couldn't help but stare at her. We exchanged something between us in that brief contact; a recognition of some sort. She gave me a slight smile and nod as if to say "hello." Before she fully turned to walk away I got a glimpse of her name badge. _Paige_ I read to myself as a whisper.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Senior year has been pretty good so far. At this point we are now in the upper levels of our class's specific to our major. Mine is Sports Marketing with a Journalism minor. Up until my senior year of high school I wanted to be a lawyer. One of my best friend's, Spencer Hastings, and I made this deal that we'd both go to law school and when we graduated and passed the Bar we'd open up a law firm together.

Spencer kept her end of the deal because, well, she's a Hastings and law is pretty much in their blood. I obviously bailed. Once I found out from Mrs. Hastings how much extra school I'd have to go through I was out. No thank you.

It was my mom who suggested I would be good at marketing. I looked into what types of careers I could get into with that background and found out that it really did sound interesting. Now here I am, sat bored out of my mind, in Statistics 375.

It's torture. Authorized, can't get around it, will make you want to scream, torture. When will I use this? I won't. That's why there are people, who like this stuff mind you, that comprise whole departments at companies who do statistics. I clearly won't be one of those people, so why must I take this class now? My academic advisor was not sympathetic to my reasoning so there you have it.

Usually I'm the type of student to sit towards the back and coast through. In Stats, that is impossible for me to do. Everything the teacher says sounds like a foreign language that I've never heard before. I'm pretty sure she was the inspiration for the Charlie Brown teacher. "Whah, whah, whah, whah, whah, whah." To me they sound one in the same. Therefore, I sit towards the front in this class hoping I gain understanding through osmosis if nothing else.

As we are dismissed I walk out of the School of Business towards the side of campus where my apartment is. I live with my best friend from Rosewood, Hanna.

Behind me, I hear two people talking about the Stats class. I'm in a hurry; otherwise I'd turn around to see who it is. They are discussing the homework that Professor Elberfeld assigned.

"Hey, what did you think about class today? You looking forward to the test next week?" I hear someone say behind me. I assume they are asking the person they're walking with.

Then I hear again, "Hey, in the leather jacket, so are you or what?" Suddenly I realize that I'M the one wearing a leather jacket.

I turn around to see a tall girl with chestnut hair walking with a short blond guy from my class. I recognized him from one of my other classes. His name is Michael. "What? Were you asking me?"

"Yeah, so what about the test next week? Think it will be brutal?," she asked with a smirk.

The girl looks really familiar. I know I've seen her somewhere before. She's cute, very much so. Snapping out of it, I realize I better answer her question since she's asked me three times now. "Oh, sorry, I didn't realize you are in my class." Well, I still didn't answer her question.

"No problem. I guess you wouldn't know. I always sit towards the back. I'm usually coming from work so I'm almost always a minute or two late," she explains.

"Oh. Uh, to answer your question, yes, I think the test will be brutal. I hate that class." She laughed and graced me with the most beautiful smile I think I've ever seen. "Where do you work?," I asked, trying to place where I knew her from.

"It's a small mom and pop store on Poplar. You've probably never heard of it. A place called Winsted's," she replied.

Bingo. The girl helping the cashier in the checkout lane. The one with the name badge. Paige.

"Actually, I have heard of it. I've been in there a few times when I need to get something quick," I acknowledged.

"Oh that's cool. The old couple that owns it is really great," Paige remarked. At this point we've pretty much unintentionally cut Michael out of the conversation.

We were coming to the fork in the sidewalk where I would need to veer left. Michael started in that direction as well. "Well, I'm this way," I said motioning to the left.

"I am too. See ya around," Michael said.

"Yeah, see ya Michael and…." She trailed off waiting for me to offer my name.

"Emily," I filled in for her.

She smiled at me again and I thought my knees would buckle, "….and Emily," she said.

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Hanna was not far from me on the sidewalk up ahead. Her class had let out too so she was also headed back to our apartment. She turned towards me as she saw me approach. "Was that Paige you were talking to?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah, it was. You know her, Han?"

"Well yeah. She's in my sorority. Actually, her girlfriend Becca is too. Paige is a legacy; her mom is a Gamma Gamma Theta alumn," Hanna explained.

_Damn_ I thought to myself. "Oh, her girlfriend," I said, and I know I must have sounded disappointed or something. I could hear it in my own voice.

Hanna mistook that emotion completely. "It's no big deal, Em. No one cares that they are gay. Paige is awesome. She transferred from UPENN this year. You'd probably really like her if you got to know her better."

"I'm sure I would," I replied and left the conversation at that. Now I knew why I'd never seen her in any of my other business classes.

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As the weeks passed it became a thing for Michael, Paige, and I to walk out of Stats class together. Today Michael wasn't at class. Paige and I got off the elevator and began to walk through the lobby. There were several tables set up of various campus business organizations that were trying to recruit students to join.

One of them must have caught Paige's attention because she stopped and angled her head to get a better look at the table. "Hold on a minute, Emily. I just want to check this out real quick," she said as we walked towards a table with a banner that read "Business Excellence Group."

Paige picked up a brochure and looked through it. She looked back up at me afterwards. "My dad keeps telling me I need to join a group like this. Said it will be good for my resume."

"Your dad is right, by the way," some guy said from the other side of the table. He was wearing a suit and tie. He stuck out his hand to greet us, "I'm Max, president of the campus BEG group. And you are?"

"Paige," she said while shaking his hand. "Emily," I said offering my hand as well.

Paige turned to me. "What do you say, Emily? I'll join if you join,…..please."

I rolled my eyes and laughed. "Fine, but don't think you can always get what you want by giving me those puppy dog eyes." Truth is, I don't mind joining if it means I was going to get extra time with Paige. I'm all for that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Advancing time a few months; if I don't this will be like PLL and Emily & Paige will be seniors for 45 chapters- in a 100 chapter story. I do not have that in me.**

**Thanks for the favs, follows, and reviews. Y'all warm me up. I've been motivated to burn through two new chapters. Ch. 3 is filler but it's important advancement. Three and four coming at you…**

**Chapter 3**

First semester flew by so fast. I passed Stats 375. It was only by the grace of Paige's tutoring that got me through it.

I missed Paige over winter break. We had grown to become good friends. We spent a great deal of time together, especially once we joined BEG. I went home to Rosewood for winter break and Paige went home to Philadelphia. We texted a few times but that was it. We were both busy with family and friends we had not seen in a while. Besides, it wasn't like we owed each other anything. We are only friends, as much as I wished we were more. Paige is charming, beautiful, funny, intelligent…everything I want but ultimately knew I could not have.

For some reason Paige still had not told me about her girlfriend or the fact that she is gay. I certainly wasn't going to bring it up. And if she ever got to the point when she did want to tell me I would act like I didn't already know. That was something I wanted her to tell me, not confirm it with her as if it's petty gossip.

Becca seems like a very nice person. I've met her a few times but we've never hung out. All the times I've been with Paige, Becca has never once come out with us. I find that odd. Perhaps I'm looking for problems. I can't fault her for dating Paige. Both girls are from Philadelphia and have known each other for years. Paige said they finally decided to get together about eight months ago. When Paige decided to transfer from UPENN she made the choice come here to be with Becca.

In the time that I've known Paige I have seen her happy, and I have seen her down. When she is down, I gather it is due to an argument with Becca. Hanna told me they have a fairly tumultuous relationship. Why anyone would stick around for that kind of drama was beyond me. But then again, what would I know? I've never been in love. I've never been fully invested in any relationship I've been in. They could easily have ended and I wouldn't have been too bothered by it. Ben was the closest I came and that's a whole other story.

As I have gotten to know Paige better this year my attraction towards her has grown. It's become more than simple attraction, I now truly have feelings for the girl. I don't know what to do with these feelings. I don't know how to feel about these feelings. It sounds complicated, right? Believe me, it is. I've been attracted to girls before but Paige is the first girl who has ever actually captured my attention. She is the first girl who I've considered that maybe I could have a relationship with.

I can't help but feel slight twinges of jealousy towards Becca. She has Paige and I don't. It's completely unfair and unreasonable for me to feel this way. I tell myself that often. Paige deserves someone who knows who they are and what they want. That is something I can't give her right now so I have to let it go as best I can.

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Last week Paige and I made plans to get together tonight to discuss some action items for the upcoming BEG meeting. She and I had both been sworn in as officers at the start of the new semester. Paige was named Secretary and I was named Vice President of Development. Basically that just means I'm in charge of our activities with the business teachers and the charity work we do.

Paige should be arriving at my apartment anytime. As I fixed some snacks for us to graze on through the night my phone started ringing. I grabbed it off the kitchen counter when I saw that it was Paige. _She's probably running late_ I thought to myself. I answered and immediately heard sniffles on the other end.

"Paige, are you ok? What's wrong?" I asked with my voice full of concern.

"Hey Em, um, I'm ok. Listen, I got into a pretty big fight with one of my roommates and I'm moving out…tonight. I'm not going to be able to come over."

This wasn't going to be good. Becca is one of her roommates. Realization hit…they broke up. "Do you need help? I'll come help you. Just tell me what you need."

"No, I'm ok. I've got it covered. Thanks though, Emily." She said through a sniffle. "You're a really good friend." And then she hung up.

I didn't hear from Paige for another two weeks after that. I hated it. I was starting to get really concerned. Hanna said she had seen Paige at a few sorority meetings. At least I knew she was functioning, to a degree.

She attended classes but kept to herself. I wanted to reach out to her so badly. Clearly Paige wanted space to mend, and I was willing to give her that no matter how difficult it was for me. My heart was breaking for her. I know that my attraction towards Paige goes well beyond platonic. But first and foremost Paige is my friend. Right now, my friend is hurting and that's the only thing that matters to me.

Eventually Paige started coming around more again. I could tell that she was still hurting. She carried around sadness with her that wasn't there before. I tried to cheer her up. We'd go out to bars, play disk golf at the park…anything to keep her moving forward. It was hard to be there for someone when technically you're not supposed to know what is wrong with them.

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Luckily, just in time for spring break the executive officers of BEG were tasked to go to a week-long conference to Myrtle Beach, SC. This would be the perfect escape. The week down there was awesome! We had fun on the beach, hung out with people from other schools, played beach volleyball. Most importantly to me, however, was that I got five whole days with Paige. After months of healing she was acting like herself again, and I was drawn to her like a moth to a flame.

On the way back Paige and I rode in her car with Max while the other people from campus drove in a separate car. I could tell Paige had something on her mind while she was driving. I assumed it had something to do with Becca. Paige glanced at Max sitting next to her in the passenger seat then looked in the rear-view mirror to glance at me.

"Emily, how much do you know about me?" she asked.

Max looked back at me expectantly. Apparently he knew this was coming. I, on the other hand, was caught off guard. "I know you're a goober if that's what you're asking" is how I chose to reply.

She smiled. "Hilarious, but no, that's not what I'm asking. How much do you know about my, um, love life?"

This was it. I had to be careful here because I didn't want to lie to her. "Not much, I guess. You never talk about it. Why?"

"I have something I want to tell you but I don't want it to affect our friendship," Paige said with caution.

"Okay…." I said, trailing off so she could proceed.

"I'm gay. You know Becca? I was dating her."

_Finally! Me too! I'm gay too! Though I've never actually had a girlfriend or been on a date with a girl. Speaking of, will you go on a date with me?_...is how I wanted to respond. Instead I simply said, "Thanks for telling me, Paige. And as far as your fear that this will affect our friendship; don't worry about that. You're stuck with me," I gave her a big smile that she returned in full.

I felt it. Paige was finally moving on. She was taking steps forward. I desperately hoped that one day; I could walk along beside her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Remember, this is spring of their senior year. (2010) Keep that in mind as I get into song choices for certain things. **

**Chapter 4**

It's Thirsty Thursday! I'm texting back and forth with Paige and some of the others as to what our plans are that night when Hanna walks into my bedroom. "Hey, Em, what do you have going on tonight?"

"I'm not sure yet. We're trying to decide. I'm waiting for Pai…"

Hanna cut me off. "Paige, right? You're always with her. Hang out with me tonight. anHanHI miss my roomie."

She really didn't want to go there with this guilt trip. "Wait a second, Han," I said holding my right hand up. "Can I just point out that YOU are always out with Sean? Ever since you met him you've been MIA."

"Sean is my boyfriend, that's different." This immediately got a scalding glare from me. "Ok, I don't want to argue. I miss my BFF," she said tugging on my arm and smiling up at me. "Please, let's do something tonight. Just the two of us; we can stay in, order pizza, drink some wine, watch a movie...I'll even let you pick what we watch. For at least tonight I won't talk about Sean and you won't talk about Paige."

_Do what? _ "What do you mean 'I won't talk about Paige,' Hanna?"

Hanna rolled her eyes before she answered. "Really? Every time I get a minute to be around you all you talk about is Paige. I'm practically losing my best friend. And she's just as bad by the way. It's always 'Emily this and Emily that.' You know, I think she might have a crush on you."

_Hell yes! _I scoffed instead to hide my initial reaction: excitement. "Psh, you don't know what you're talking about. Paige would never have a crush on me."

"Do you look in the mirror? You're hot, Em," she said while motioning to me up and down. "Actually…" she said slowing drawing this out, as if to just now take notice…, "you've had a dry spell this whole year. Is Emily Fields done 'playin the Field' and breaking hearts?" she ended with a wink. I hated that. Yes, I had a reputation. We've established I used to be a player and my last name is Fields. How original of everyone to connect the two dots.

"You know I hate that play on my name, but I'll let it slide because I love you," I smiled at her. "I've decided to chill out this year. That reputation; it's not me. You know that. It's more important for me to have fun and enjoy my senior year."

This is the point I could have told Hanna. It would have made sense to do so. I should have but I couldn't; I didn't feel ready. How do you tell someone, "Actually, I don't want to date guys! And you know what, I desperately wish Paige did have a crush on me because then this attraction, this pull I feel towards her, it wouldn't be one sided! If you were right that Paige has a crush on me, I could walk up to Paige, I could let her know how I think about her all the time. I could let her know that being around her makes me feel more like myself than I ever have before!" But I didn't tell Hanna any of those things.

"I love you too, Emmykins. So what do you say? Fun night in?" Hanna said, while wrapping me up in a hug.

_Oh we're using our nicknames now? Horrible, horrible nicknames at that. _I mumbled into her hair, "Ok, Hanny-Bananny…let's do it. Night in, just the two of us."

While Hanna was ordering the pizza I sent Paige a quick text. **Sorry to bail last minute. Can't go tonight. Promised Hanna a roomie night in. Tell everyone I said hi and have fun!**

In less than a minute I had a reply. **Bummer! Won't be the same tonight without you. Still on to hit Dan's party on Saturday night?**

Dan was a guy in our Consumer Behavior class. He's having a massive house party Saturday night. Paige and I made plans to go together. **Of course! Pick you up Saturday at 9:30. But remember, I organized that litter pick up along highway 261 Sunday morning at 9am for BEG. We can't miss it. **As part of my duties at VP of Development for BEG I had to arrange community projects. This one in particular is for the city beautification project.

**I know, I know. I'll be the best litter picker upper of them all. Enjoy your night with Hanna.** I smiled as I read her text and put my phone away to focus on my roomie night in.

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I hadn't seen Paige in several days so as I drove to her apartment Saturday night I was buzzing with excitement. Lately, Paige has been behaving in a way that I won't lie has gotten my hopes up. Last week at the bar we were joking around with a group of our friends. As it normally does when you're drinking, sexual innuendos entered the conversations. I had to hear my friend Blake say "that's what she said" at least five times. In response to something I said, Paige made a joke about "Oh the things I could do to you, Emily" and I swear I almost lunged across the table and dared her to show me EXACTLY what she meant. And it's not just her words. It's the gentle touches to my back as we walk or grazes of her hand against my arm. Every touch is like a flash point where I can feel desire start to sizzle.

I know that if Paige made a move I would follow her down that path. I would go skipping along with her like a giddy school girl. I want Paige. Yet this beautiful girl who enters my dreams at night has no idea. She doesn't even know that I'm open to it much less interested in her specifically. If only I could tell her. I know I won't, and I'm disappointed in myself. It makes being around her a constant ying and yang of good and bad emotions.

But I don't want to think about any of this tonight. Tonight is about fun and tonight I get to be with Paige. I pulled up to her apartment building and texted her to let her know I was there. As she walked towards my car I took a minute to admire her. Paige looks good in everything she wears whether she goes casual, sporty, or dressy. Tonight she's going casual in dark wash skinny jeans, her trademark black boots, and a deep purple tank top that hugs her chest and torso deliciously.

By the time we get to Dan's house the party is in full force. Every room is packed as we try to make our way to the kitchen to find a drink. Paige takes my hand to lead the way so we don't get separated. _God, I love the feeling of her hand in mine_ I think to myself. Paige mixes a Jack and Coke for herself. I opt for just the Coke since I'm driving. For the first hour or so we made our way through the crowd talking with friends.

Halfway through the night Paige had a solid buzz going. I was being good and stone cold sober, until…see here's the thing, Dan's fraternity brother challenged Paige and I to a game of flip cup, and I've never been one to back down from a challenge. Paige was useless and Dan's frat brother was obviously a professional flip cup player. The alcohol hit me hard and by the end of the game I was just as buzzed as Paige.

We moved from the game to the living room. Paige and I were propped up against the wall watching everyone dance. She leaned towards me and said into my ear with a lopsided grin, "You look really good tonight, Em." Today was a warm spring day so I'm dressed in a tight, lightweight coral-colored dress that hits mid-thigh. The color complimented my skin tone perfectly.

Luckily it's dark in this room or I'm sure Paige would have seen the blush color my cheeks. Just as I was about to respond, Evacuate the Dancefloor by Cascada started thumping through the speakers. It's one of Paige's favorite songs and when she recognized it her eyes lit up. She grabbed my hand and yanked me towards the center of the room where everyone was dancing.

We were having a great time. The dance floor is crowded, even more so with this song, so there isn't a lot of room to maneuver. As the song ended some random guy bumped into Paige and pushed her flush against me. On instinct she wrapped her arms around my waist to steady herself as I did the same to her to stabilize her balance. Just then the next song kicked up and it was considerably slower: Come on Get Higher by Matt Nathanson. Our bodies and hazy state of minds had not caught up yet to the change in song or the fact that we were still holding each other. We sway to the music as our bodies are fused together.

I can feel Paige's breath on my neck. It is warm and sends a shiver down my spine. Matt Nathanson is singing _"So come on, get higher, loosen my lips, Faith and desire and the swing of your hips, Just pull me down hard, And drown me in love."_

I am breathing heavy but it has nothing to do with dancing. It has everything to do with Paige in my arms, wrapped around me. I want to kiss this girl breathless. I want to lean in and capture her perfectly shaped lips with mine. I want to start and never stop.


	5. Chapter 5

**I think this chapter is my favorite so far…I just is.**

**Chapter 5**

We're standing in the middle of the dance floor as other people coupled up around us dance. I lean back as Paige does and our eyes meet. We've stopped swaying to the song but our arms are still wrapped around each other. It would be so easy; I could lean forward right now and kiss the girl I've been longing for. I am about to do just that when the same guy who bumped Paige minutes ago does it again. The jarring was enough to break our eye contact and snap us out of the moment. We both stepped back hesitantly and Paige does that adorable head dip she does so often around me. While her eyes were cast down to the floor she mumbled out, "We should probably go."

I sighed and said "yeah" and we made our way to the front door. As we stepped out to the porch Ericka, a girl who is also in BEG, stopped us. "Are you guys leaving already?" she asked with a big grin on her face.

"Yeah, we have that litter pick up in the morning, remember? And I can't drive us home so we're going to walk or call a cab or something." I was internally berating myself for drinking when I was meant to be driving us.

As it turns out Ericka had a better idea. "Well my house is a block away. My roommates went home for the weekend and I'm staying at Brad's tonight. You're welcome to stay at my place."

That sounded like as good an idea as any so we thanked her and took the keys to her house. The walk allowed me time to cool off and think a little more clearly. I almost kissed Paige in front of all those people. I wondered if she could tell what I was thinking at the time. I was feeling awkward that I nearly kissed her. I think she was feeling awkward about our dance.

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We rooted through Erika's dresser drawers looking for pajamas. I found a yellow tank top and bottoms with monkeys and banana peels printed all over them. Paige must have given up looking because the next thing I knew she took off her jeans, left her tank top on, and climbed into bed. _How am I supposed to sleep in this double-size bed with her dressed only in THAT?_ I couldn't help but think to myself.

I got into bed and lay down beside her. In the moment I saw Paige strip down I sobered up drastically. Paige was so drunk that she'll probably fall asleep instantly. In fact, I think she's already snoring. For me, I know that sleep will be hard to come by with Paige so close. What I wouldn't give to be able to pull her body to me, wrap my arms around her, kiss her goodnight, and drift off into a peaceful slumber.

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At some point I must have fallen asleep. I woke up in a panic. I wasn't sure why until I looked at the alarm clock on Erika's bedside table. In bright red letters it said 11am. _Fuck_ I thought to myself and bolted upright.

I started poking Paige, "Wake up! Paige, wake up!" She finally started stirring about. "Get up, we gotta go," still nothing. "Paige, get your ass out of this bed. Now!"

"Emillllyyyy, whazzz your problem? Go back to sleep," she said in a husky sleep-filled voice while swatting my hand away.

"Paige, we were meant to meet everyone from BEG at 9. That was two hours ago!"

"I'd say they got a pretty good head start then. Might as well go back to sleep," Paige tried to reason and turned back over. The girl was still half asleep.

"I have all of the trash bags, reflective vests, and work gloves in my trunk. City maintenance is expecting to drive the highway tonight to pick up the bags of trash," I said with desperation lacing my words. _Epic fail, Emily_! I was internally screaming at myself.

This finally caught Paige's attention. She sat up and pressed her palms to her eyes. After a few minutes she looked up at me, "Ok, hear me out. I think I have a plan."

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I wasn't convinced by Paige's plan but it was the only option. It sounded like something Hanna would come up with. We raced around Erika's apartment and collected all of her trash. Then we went to my apartment and collected our trash. Next stop was Paige's apartment and then the sorority house. In total we had eight bags of trash. We drove along the stretch of highway that was assigned to us and started dropping the bags at various intervals.

Pathetic? Yes. Shameful? Certainly. But at least it looked like our group actually did the work. I would deal with everyone else later. Paige got out her phone, took a picture, and posted it to Twitter. I thought that was a little over the top but she decided we needed evidence to prove we went out there.

We got back in my car and looked at each other without saying a word. Immediately we burst into laughter. Any tension that could have been lingering from last night was gone long ago.

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Things with Paige and I were changing, I could feel it. I started to get my hopes up that she felt the same magnetic pull towards me that I felt towards her. The near miss with the kiss was a close call. Not that I didn't want it to happen. Of course I did. Just not like that. Not in the middle of the dance floor at a house party…when we are both drunk.

It probably sounds like we party a lot. We don't. No more so than any other senior in college who is about to graduate. I'm nervous about that actually: graduation. I don't have a job lined up yet. Paige does. She is moving to Atlanta for a job with a big advertising firm as a brand planner.

I decided not to go back to Rosewood upon graduation. With my parents splitting their time between Rose and Texas now and most of my friends planning on moving away there isn't anything tying me there.

We have one more week of school left. Finals week. Luckily I don't have many tests though I do have some final projects to turn in and one presentation to give. Paige and I plan on spending a lot of time together. We're going out with some friends tonight and I'm looking forward to it.

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Paige, Max, me, and our friend Jillian are sitting at a table in our favorite pub just off campus. The place is packed. Maggie, an acquaintance of mine from my Retail Marketing class, walked up to our table and started whispering something to Paige. I didn't like it, not one bit. She seemed too familiar with her if you know what I mean. There was an undercurrent of something there and it was making me feel uneasy. It didn't help that every so often they would both turn to glance at me.

I wanted to get away from the table. I grabbed Jillian and went to go sing karaoke up near the bar. Neither one of us are great singers. In fact, I rarely ever do karaoke. My first time was with Paige. Jillian couldn't decide what to sing so I opened the song book to a random page, closed my eyes, and brought my finger down. I landed on Use Somebody. Luckily Jillian and I both know the song.

All things considered we didn't do too badly but Kings of Leon we were not. As we started to leave the stage I glanced to my right towards the bar. Both Paige and Maggie were propped up against it staring at me. At that point I'd had enough. Something was up and I intended to find out what.

I walked up to them and bluntly asked, "Alright, what's going on? And don't tell me 'nothing' because I know that's a lie. You've been whispering and staring at me all night."

Paige and Maggie exchanged a look. Maggie turned to Paige and nodded her head. "You can tell her, Paige. I don't mind. In fact.." she looked me up and down, "…I think I want you to tell her."

I looked briefly between the pair then settled my gaze on Paige. "Tell me what?"

Paige sighed before answering. "Maggie keeps having dreams about you. She came over to the table tonight to ask me if I thought you'd be interested."

"Dreams? Interested?" Clearly I did not understand something here.

Maggie took a few steps towards me and looked me in the eyes. "Yeah, DREAMS…", she said, arching her eyebrows. "Last night's was…." she licked her lips then continued, "…..we had sex on my couch. It was fucking hot. YOU were fucking hot."

I felt a weight in my gut drop lower to between my thighs. I looked up to Paige and found her eyes fixed on me waiting for a reaction. I didn't know what to say. Maggie's words were certainly having an effect on me. Maggie softly grabbed my arm and smiled. "You wanna get out of here, Em?"

Paige pulled me by the waist closer to her. "Maggie, ease up. I tried to tell you, Emily isn't interested. As much as I wish differently, Emily has never thought of another girl that way."

"Yes I have." It was quick and if you weren't listening carefully you probably wouldn't have heard it, but I said it. My consciousness slammed on the breaks and hit reverse. Apparently it wasn't expecting me to say that either.

Both Maggie and Paige looked shocked. "Fuck yes!" Maggie shouted.

Once Paige recovered from the shock the next emotion that crossed her face was hurt. I know what she's thinking. _Why hasn't Emily told me this?_

I couldn't do this right now. I knew I just started something that I prepared finish. "I have to go," I said and left them both standing there. It was cowardly, I know, but I didn't know what to do. This caught me off guard. Paige is going to be expecting a conversation, and I'm not sure what I want to say just yet or how.

As I walked through my apartment door I felt my phone buzz in my back pocket. It's a text and I can almost guarantee who it's from. I open the message and sure enough, it's from Paige. **Emily, I want to talk about this. I'm coming over.**

I couldn't let her do that. **No, please, don't come over right now. We'll talk about it. I promise. But I can't tonight. I'll see you tomorrow after my Management final.**

Then I turned off my phone, climbed into bed, and stared at the ceiling. My thoughts were running wild. This is happening tomorrow.


	6. Chapter 6

**Powered through on a Spencer-ish late night flurry. I did leave it hanging on Ch. 5 :) ****I'm too impatient to leave it there. Now I can breathe easy; though I might fall asleep in my office this afternoon.**

**Too Late: Good question. Emily did not have feelings for Maggie. She only has eyes for Paige. That said, Maggie's words and boldness did affect her at just the thought of doing that with another girl. If anything, Emily would have rather Paige be the one to say it…or dream it in that case.**

**Chapter 6**

I'll be honest. It was hard to concentrate during my Management final. I had not slept well the night before. But more than that, I knew I would be seeing Paige in about two hours in the design lab. Our advertising class was due to meet there to put the last touches on the print ads for our final project.

As I entered the lab I scanned the room for empty seats. There was one about two rows behind where I saw Paige seated. I was being a childish, I know; doing all I could to avoid the girl. Not even 10 minutes into class an email notification popped up on my screen. I opened my inbox to see a new message from Paige.

I opened the message and began to read: _**"Emily, I want to let you know that I was not trying to hit on you last night when I mentioned that I wish you had thought about what we talked about. I had a little too much to drink and may have said some things that came out without me thinking. I don't know if you were being serious last night when you said you've thought of being with another girl. When Maggie told me about her dreams with you, I let her know how great of a person I think you are. I told her that when I first met you I considered that you might be, um, interested in what we talked about. I didn't know how to approach you about it so I left it at that and have enjoyed our friendship this year. To be honest, I would have liked to hit on you. If I had seen any inclination from you that you would have reciprocated I would have asked you out. I hope me telling you this does not cause awkwardness between us. You are so important to me. I want you to know that I think you are a wonderful person, and if you will allow me, I would like the opportunity to find out if we could share something more. I know we are both leaving, but I will never know if something could develop between us if I don't try. Now you know completely how I feel. Whatever you choose, I will ALWAYS be your friend, and I will never put any pressure on you. Please, Emily, give this some thought. I have been very honest with you in this email. It is my hope that you will respect my feelings enough to be honest with me in return about how you feel. If you have an interest in me, let me know. If you don't feel the same, please tell me that too, but whatever you do tell me, I want it to be the truth. You can trust me with your feelings, Em."**_

I read her email twice. _Paige is interested in me!_ This knowledge made me both giddy and nervous. The conflicting emotions were fighting for dominance. I knew Paige would be waiting for a reply. Being honest with Paige meant also being unconditionally honest with me. It would be a huge step and a giant leap of faith. I'm not sure if I'm ready for this. I should be by now, shouldn't I? So why am I not? Fear and the unknown, that's why. It suddenly struck me that I could make my inner thoughts a reality. This frightened me.

With 15 minutes left to go in the lab I received another email notification. I opened my inbox; again a message from Paige. This one was short: _**"Reply?"**_

I considered my options for a moment. Ultimately, I knew I owed it to Paige to be honest with her. I owed it to myself too. I wasn't sure what this meant for Paige and I, or what I wanted it to mean, but I would tell her either way. I quickly typed out my reply. _**"I do want to talk to you about this, Paige, but not like this. Hanna is going out with Sean tonight. Can you come over to my place around 5?**_

For the first time during that whole two hours I looked towards Paige. She brought her eyes up over the top of her computer screen and met my gaze. She nodded her head. Yes.

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To say I am nervous would be an understatement. I'll say it anyway: I'm nervous. Anyone with the gift of sight would be able to see it. I am pacing around my living room. I keep checking the time on my phone. I've straightened the books on the coffee table at least four times. I've looked out of the peephole in my front door more times than I care to count. As if the next time I look Paige will have suddenly apparated to the spot just outside my door.

I'm in the kitchen to grab a bottle of water when I hear a knock on the door. My heart rate immediately spiked. She is here. I ran to the door and extended my right hand towards the knob then pulled it back. I need to take a deep breath and settle my nerves. I take deep, cleansing breaths and as I exhale for the third time I open the door.

Paige is standing there and suddenly this feels new. This Paige has never been to my apartment. Standing before me now is a Paige who has bared her heart to me. She has extended to me an invitation; an opportunity to authentically be Emily Fields.

I open the door wider and allow her to enter. We haven't said a word to each other yet. Not even a shy "hi." Paige moved to sit on the farthest end of the couch. I followed and sat across from her in an armchair.

Paige and I look at each other in silence for what seems like 20 minutes. In reality, it was less than five. I'm not sure how to begin this confession to her. _Confession?_ Perhaps that is too strong a word. That makes it seem like this is wrong and I'm desperately trying to tell myself that it isn't; that when my parents make remarks about homosexuality being "wrong," THEY are the ones in the wrong. Everything I feel towards Paige feels right.

Paige finally breaks the silence. "So, you read my email?"

I nod my head. "Thank you for being honest with me, Paige. It means a lot to me that you believe I can be trusted with your feelings." I pause a moment, readying myself. "I feel it is only fair that I do the same for you."

I took a deep breath to continue and looked into Paige's eyes. The comfort that I found in them compelled me to carry on. "For so many years I've hid a part of myself away. I gathered up my thoughts, my curiosities, my feelings, my attractions, and I locked them in a box within myself. No one but me knew this box of secrets existed. And even at that I tried to tell myself it wasn't real. It couldn't be because I couldn't be what all of that meant."

I looked down to the floor and willed myself to continue. "Paige, when I told you at the bar that I have thought about being with another girl before, that was the first time I had ever mentioned it to anyone." I laughed, almost bitterly, snickering at my own words. "Hell, it's the first time I had ever said it out loud at all- never even to me."

"I feel drawn to you, Paige. From the first moment I saw you there was an attraction present that felt so strong, I couldn't deny it." I needed to be closer to her so I got up and sat next to her on the couch, turning to face her. "This year, I have gotten to know what an absolutely wonderful person you are. To brush off the feelings I have for you as if they do not exist would be a lie. I can't lie to you, Paige. And I don't want to lie to myself anymore either."

Paige gave me a lopsided grin and did the trademark McCullers head dip. I smiled at her and took one of her hands between my own. "I don't know how much I'm ready for. I have to be honest and let you know that. However, I want to give this thing between us a chance. I have to. I will regret it for the rest of my life if I don't. I want to take this journey with you, Paige, if you want to as well?"

It was as if my admission placed us in a vacuum. There was no movement around us, no sound. I could tell she was thinking. She appeared to be at a loss for words. Panic began to ebb its way into my consciousness. _What if Paige doesn't want to deal with this? What if she doesn't think I'm worth it?_ It would be devastating.

Finally, Paige's thoughts seemed to be clicking into place. She gently rested her free hand on my knee, rubbing her thumb gently back and forth as if to sooth my concerns. "Of course I want to, Emily. I really believe we could have something great."

A happiness and self-assurity settled over me like a warm blanket on a cold night. I felt at ease with myself for the first time in a very long time. I squeezed Paige's hand and said, "So what do we do now?"

"Emily Fields, I would love nothing more than to take you out. Will you go on a date with me?"

I sighed, so grateful for this moment. "Paige McCullers, I never thought you'd ask." I smiled, one that I'm sure lit up my whole face. I nodded my head while replying, "Yes, I would love to go on a date with you."

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Tomorrow is my first date with Paige. She won't tell me what we're doing no matter how much I try to goad her into it. I have never been so excited for a date. I have also never been so nervous. This date is a big one for me. For one, it's Paige we're talking about here. Paige, the girl I have secretly wanted for nearly the entire school year. And two, Paige…a girl. This will be my first date with a girl.

Will it be any different than dates with guys? How? What will we do? Who pays? Will people notice that we're on a date and not just two friends out, doing whatever?

I've been so excited about the date that I haven't thought much about that. To be honest, I'm a little self-conscious about it. Not a lot of people know that Paige is gay. She's only out to her closest friends. Still, what will people think? Will they assume we are together? I'm being ridiculous. I've hung out with her a million times this year, just the two of us, and thought nothing of it. No one else did either.

The ringing of my cell pulls me out of my inner thoughts. Paige's ringtone, I'm Yours, was playing. I instantly smiled knowing that it's her calling me. Yesterday Paige took my phone during our final BEG meeting to transition the new officers and changed her ringtone to Jason Mraz. Originally her ringtone was Womanizer by Brittany Spears. She said no one she dates can have that song as her designated ringtone. I jokingly chose it one night a few months ago after a very persistent girl kept flirting with Paige. She hated it. I loved it...or maybe I loved that she hated it. Either way, now I'm glad she changed it.

"Hello, Paige," I said with obvious cheer in my voice. This girl just makes me happy.

"Hey, Em. How's your day going?"

"Much better now that you've called." I say in a lower octave. I can't help but be a little flirtatious now. Everything feels so comfortable with her. Our transition into something more seems like second nature.

Paige gave a breathy laugh and replied, "Oh just wait until tomorrow when you actually get to see me…on our DATE."

"About that, are you going to tell me what we're doing? I mean, this girl has to prepare," I pointed at myself though she couldn't see me. "How will I know what to wear?"

"Emily Fields, you haven't worn me down yet, you'll just have to wait until I pick you up to find out what we're doing. Dress casual."

"Ok, Ok. I'll see you tomorrow evening. Have a good night, Paige."

"You too, Emily. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Oh, and Paige….I'm really looking forward to our date…no matter what we do." I hung up the phone practically buzzing with excitement.

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Hanna walked into my bedroom as I was getting ready for my date. Paige will be here in exactly one hour. I'll still probably be standing in front of my closest, starting at my clothes when she gets here. I have no idea what to wear. I want to wear something different tonight. Not something that Paige has seen me in numerous times before.

"Hey, Em. Where are you getting ready to go?"

"Paige and I are going to hang out tonight," I answer, not revealing any details. Come to think of it, I don't know any details to reveal.

"That's cool, what are you two doing?"

"I'm not sure yet. I guess we'll see what we both feel up to," I say casually. "Since I'm not sure what we're doing I don't know what to wear. Plus, do you ever just get tired of your clothes? This spring to summer transition is difficult to dress for."

"You can wear something of mine if you want. Come on, let's go pick something out." I follow Hanna to her bedroom as she's talking.

While she's picking out clothes for me, Hanna continues the conversation. "I might be asleep by the time you get in. I'm driving back to Rosewood pretty early tomorrow morning. You're leaving for home in two weeks, right?"

"Yeah, I'm looking forward to spending a couple weeks back home with you, Aria, and Spencer. It'll be just like old times…before we go our separate ways again," I said giving Hanna a happy, yet somewhat sad smile.

"I know, Em, but no distance will ever come between the four us! Besides, you'll be living with Spencer in Philadelphia, Aria is staying in Rosewood with Fitz…it's me that's going to be all by myself in NYC."

"Oh please, Han. You're going to take that city by storm," I say, pushing her shoulder lightly. "Besides, you're going to be working for a fashion magazine…your dream come true."

Hanna squealed…she actually squealed. Loudly. In my ear. "Isn't it so GREAT!" she said, enthusiastically. Her expression then became serious as she turned to face me fully. "Have you found a job in Philly yet?"

"No, nothing has panned out yet. Spencer starts summer classes for law school in a little over four weeks. I'll head back with her then." I sigh as I continue. "Eventually I'll need to start paying something so I'm going to have to find a job, no matter what it is."

Hanna brought her hand to my forearm and gently squeezed it. "You're going to find something great, Emily, I know it." She turned back to her closet, "OK, now let's pick out something for your night on the town with Paige. Maybe we can find you a cute boy tonight!" I laughed and just shook my head at her. Not even close.

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Paige was right on time. I heard the door bell ring and rushed to answer it. As I opened the door, Paige's mouth actually dropped. Her eyes are running the length of my body, slowly. _I guess Hanna did a pretty good job on my outfit_ I thought. I'm wearing dark wash skinny jeans with a bright blue summer sweater that falls off my shoulders. My dark hair is curled into waves that hit well past my shoulders.

"Emily, you look…wow…gorgeous tonight. Not that you don't always…you do. It's just…" Paige looked up to the ceiling trying to concentrate on her words. She looked back to me and continued, "… you look really pretty."

I smiled at her with a look that I'm sure can only be described as heartfelt. "Thank you, Paige. You look great." And she did. Paige has an effortless beauty that I'm sure most people would love to possess. She is wearing boyfriend jeans, Sperry's, a tight white tank top, and a navy blue cardigan.

Paige did the head dip. I love that. "You ready to go then?" she asked as she looked up and her eyes met mine.

"Absolutely."

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Surprisingly, Paige was headed a little out of town. I expected her to possibly drive towards downtown State College. There is a lot to do in that area of town. When she took one of the main highways out of town my curiosity peaked.

"Paige, now that you have me in the car, and we're headed God knows where, are you going to tell me what our plans are tonight?"

Paige looked over towards me and smiled. "We're nearly there. We'll turn to the right in about a mile. In another mile and a half down that road we'll have reached our destination."

We made the turn as she described. The Pennsylvania countryside is beautiful. We're in the heart of it now. Paige turned into the driveway of a large white, Victorian-style house. It looked inviting, to say the least, but I wasn't sure why we came to someone's house.

Paige got out of the car so I did the same and followed her towards the front porch. It was lined with antique rocking chairs and beautiful potted plants. A sign posted near the door said "Lakeside Bed & Breakfast." I turn to look at Paige, a smirk clearly on my face. "A B&B? Really?"

Paige fake gasps. "Who do you take me for; a beautiful seductress that lures my dates to B&B's? Shame on you!" I laugh at her theatrics and she continues. "We have dinner reservations on the back porch near the lake." She explains as she holds the door open for me.

It is beautiful back here. The lake is about the size of two football fields and has an ornate fountain in the middle of it. Ducks are swimming lazily back and forth across the lake. There is a pebble-lined walking path that stretches around the perimeter. Every 30 feet, give or take, there is an old fashioned light post with a bench next to it. The setting is very romantic.

The back porch is big enough to allow five small tables. Besides ours, there is only one other table occupied. On both ends of the porch the owner has placed tall stand up heaters to keep the chill out of the springtime air.

Our waiter comes to the table with two glasses of water. He looks to Paige first. "Hey, Paige. I thought I saw your name on the reservation list." I start to look back and forth between the waiter and Paige.

"Hi, Charles." Paige now motions to me. "This is my friend Emily." I smile and nod my head in greeting. Paige continues, "I think we're going to need a few more minutes to look over the menu."

As Charles turns to leave I have to ask, "You know the waiter?"

"Yeah, my aunt is best friends with the owner. Charles is her son. I've been here a few times. That's how I know him."

"So that's how you know about this place. Perfect, then you know the menu. What's good here?" And just like that our date takes off.

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The whole evening so far has been wonderful. All of the questions I had yesterday about what the date would be like have evaporated. Paige is so easy to talk to. We laugh. We kid. We can have serious current event discussions. We can sit peacefully in silence and watch the ripples dance along the surface of the lake caused by the fountain.

The couple on the other side of the porch pays us no mind. A few times I found myself glancing their direction and wondered if they were curious about Paige and I. I'm trying not to be self conscious about it, but I can't help it. This is so new for me. I want this with Paige, desperately, but it's going to take some getting used to.

Paige went to grab a blanket from her car. She returns and we sit on one of the benches about halfway around the lake. I didn't notice earlier, but there is a light that shines through the fountain casting a golden hue to the water that surrounds it. I feel at peace here with Paige.

Paige throws the blanket across our laps and I snuggle into her side. "Thank you for bringing me here tonight, Paige. I've had a lovely time with you." I lean my head up to look directly at her.

Paige has her left arm wrapped around me and is gently rubbing my shoulder. "I'm glad, Emily. You deserve to be treated like the amazing person you are. Thank you for coming with me tonight. It's been great."

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Paige didn't kiss me that night nor did I kiss her. I'm sure we both wanted to but we're taking things slow, which I'm thankful for. Paige means a lot to me. I want to make sure we do this right. I am so fortunate that Paige thinks enough of me to feel the same way.


	7. Chapter 7

**Quick little note of thanks cause' I just have to say it: I was asked by a local elementary school to mentor their upper-level students in business and such, which I did this morning. I started by asking the kids what they want to do when they grow up. One girl in particular said she wants to be an author. When I asked why she said "because when she has a bad day or when she just wants to chill out and use her imagination or come down from the day, writing helps her." I spent four hours with these kids and they were all awesome. I could go on and on about them. But what this one girl in particular said stayed with me. I'm clearly not an author, as you can tell, or nor do I want to be, but I have found that I enjoy writing. What she said is true. I have a fairly busy, stressful job but writing is one of the things that help me separate from that. So thanks, readers, for indulging me this opportunity. I guess we can blame my sappiness on Thanksgiving having just passed here in the States.**

**And now, one of the moments we've all been waiting for…**

**Chapter 7**

It's been three days since my date with Paige. We've talked and texted, but have not had the opportunity to see each other. The days since then have been extremely busy for both of us with family in town. The graduation ceremony just concluded. My mom drove in from Rosewood two days ago. My dad requested leave and flew in from the base a few hours before the ceremony. Having both of them here with me has been wonderful.

The closest I got to Paige at graduation was three aisles away. We managed to make eye contact a few times. Looking back to see her smiling at me made the long ceremony bearable. I was hoping to grab her afterwards for a picture together.

I caught a glimpse of her across the quad outside and started to make my way towards her. As the group directly in front of her walked towards the parking lot she came into better view. A tall, intimidating man was standing near her with a shorter woman with striking red hair. It was easy to tell who the couple was: Paige's parents. She resembled each of them equally. Paige's height, eye color, and chestnut hair color came from her father. Her facial features appeared to come from her mother.

Unfortunately, there were too many people between me and them, and by the time I made it through the crowd they were gone.

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My parents just dropped me off at the apartment. They are staying at a hotel near campus. I suppose we could have stayed out longer but I told them to go ahead and drop me off at home. I know they've missed each other while mom has been back in Rosewood. Tonight they will get to spend time alone, just the two of them.

It's just as well. The past few days have been so busy; I'm truthfully looking forward to getting in bed and watching a movie. I walked into the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. The room feels a little bare without all of Hanna's beauty care products covering the counters.

Hanna didn't walk in the ceremony today. She spent a few days back home in Rosewood with her mom before heading to New York to sort out her apartment. She sent me some pictures of it this morning. It looks tiny but very modern; totally Hanna. We will both get back home to Rosewood on the same day as will Spencer. I talked to Aria yesterday. She is ecstatic to have all of us back home for a few weeks.

Just as I enter my room and climb into bed I hear Jason Mraz singing from my phone on the bedside table. It's Paige of course.

"Hi, fellow college graduate," I greet her with a smile plastered on my face. I hear her faintly laugh into the phone.

"Told you passing Stats would be worth it, Em" she teased. "So what are you up to? Are you still with your parents?"

"No, they dropped me off about 20 minutes ago. My mom will drive back to Rosewood in the morning and my dad flies back to the base first thing. What about your parents?"

"Well, you know, Nick McCullers is a 'man in high demand'," she says the last part mimicking her father. "He has a meeting tomorrow morning so they are driving back to Philadelphia tonight. We just got back from dinner with my aunt and uncle."

"Did you tell your aunt that you took a hot date to her best friend's bed and breakfast?," I ask suggestively.

"Of course I did! I told her you were so loud in bed that the guests in the other suites complained and we've been banned for life." Paige's delivery was perfect.

I felt my face flush. I've heard Paige joke like this numerous times before but with her comment directed at me, I felt a jolt rush through me. I realized how much I missed her in that moment. I cleared my throat to compose myself. "What you are doing right now?"

"Not much. As soon as I walked in the door I called you. I've missed you the past few days, Emily." I loved it when Paige let her walls down and told me exactly how she was feeling.

"I've missed you too. I was just getting ready to watch a movie in bed. You should join me." _Yep, I just said that…out loud._ I just told Paige I want her in my bed. She's gonna love that.

"So you're saying you want me in your bed? Emily Fields, I didn't know you had it in you!"

"Ha, Ha, Paige…for the movie. Can you think of a better place to be?" I threw back at her.

"I'll be there in 15 minutes."

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I threw my apartment door open when I heard the doorbell ring. Immediately I pulled Paige into my arms and gave her a crushing hug. I wanted her to feel how much I missed her.

We made popcorn and settled into my bed to watch Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It was one of my favorite movies. I didn't admit to anyone, except for Paige recently, that the sole reason for this was Mila Kunis. She. Is. Gorgeous.

We are both lying on our stomachs facing the television. "Emily, you're drooling," Paige says to me as we watch the movie.

I threw my pillow at her. "I am not!"

"You are! Every time Mila Kunis comes on screen you zone out," Paige says adamantly.

I wiped my chin just in case. Nope, definitely not drooling. I turned to face her fully. "You're just jealous."

Paige shot that adorable half grin my way and inched a little closer to me. Turning to face me directly, she started, "Perhaps. But you know, I've always been someone to take matters into my own hands. I'm pretty sure I can get you to focus only on me for the rest of the night."

She continued to lean towards me while she spoke. I instinctively felt myself doing the same towards her. She spoke the final word as her lips brushed gently against mine. I swear I felt a spark…an actual physical spark. I quickly reciprocated. Paige's lips were soft and felt natural when fused with my own. I wanted more. I parted my lips to allow her tongue entrance into my mouth. I audibly gasped as our tongues moved expertly together. When people say someone's touch or kiss made them melt I never got it. Now I do. It's a feeling of ease and excitement that render you senseless. Or weightless almost. The only nerves that were responding in my body were that which controlled my lips, mouth, and tongue. All I could feel was Paige.

It was the first time I had ever been kissed by another girl and it was blissful. Now THAT is what a kiss is supposed to do to you. Make you want more; make you weak, yet strong at the same time; make your heart beat wildly in your chest; make you complete. This kiss did all of that for me and so much more.

Paige pulled away and looked me in the eyes. I know she was searching my face for confirmation. "I've wanted to do that all night," she said. She brushed a few strands of hair out of my eyes then brought her hand to my cheek. "I couldn't go another minute without feeling your lips on mine."

As I continued to look into Paige's eyes I felt a comfort in them that I had never felt with anyone else before. This girl was incredible. I began to realize, with the clarity of that moment, how much she really meant to me. "Paige, I've wanted this for so much longer than that," and I brought our lips together again.

As Paige deepened the kiss she rolled me over to my back and settled her body on top of mine. A sigh escaped my lips as I felt the weight of her settle on top of me. Her breasts were pressed to mine, which was a totally new sensation for me. I loved it. I moved my hands to the nape of her neck and bunched her hair in my hands, running my nails along her scalp.

A throaty moan came from her and I could feel the desire coming from both of us intensify. She began to lift the hem of my shirt and ran her hands up my stomach. Her hands were making their way to my bra. This brought goose bumps to breakout across my body, snapping me to my senses.

Things were getting too intense. The way I feel right now, I could easily allow things to go much further than they should. I needed to slow us down. I pulled away, "Paige," I whispered. She continued kissing me. It felt so good. _Maybe I'll just let this keep going. No. No._ I grabbed her hands to stop their progress. "Paige," I said a little more loudly. "We need to stop."

Paige looked at me with her eyes glazed over. "I'm sorry," she said, while pulling the hem of my shirt back down. "You're right; I don't want us to rush this."

I pulled her back down to me and kissed her forehead. "Come on, let's go to sleep."

Paige was correct, no way did I think about anything other than Paige McCullers the rest of the night. As I lie there, feeling sleep take over in Paige's arms, I touched my lips where I could swear I still felt her presence and smiled. This is what I've been missing; the difference that made me, ME.


	8. Chapter 8

**Y'all I am loving the favs, follows, and reviews. Keep'em coming! I like knowing the feedback. And for this, I'm updating with two chapters tonight. 8 & 9 comin' atcha.**

**Chapter 8**

I've been packing boxes all day. The apartment that I've shared with Hanna all year is practically bare now. I stand in the middle of the living room, turning in a circle to take in the room. Memories come flooding back. We've had so many good times here this year.

There's the time we stole the Lambda Chi's house sign and held it for ransom in retribution for Dan and his buddies sealing Hanna's car doors shut. _I'm gonna miss those guys. _There's the time we tried to make pizza and lost track of time while it was in the oven. Luckily the firemen who responded to the smoke coming from the windows were really nice about it. There's the time we started a water balloon fight with the rest of the tenants in our complex. It was an epic battle and our corner was victorious.

I can't believe after four years here at Penn State I'm heading out on my own. I'll get two weeks in Rosewood to enjoy with my friends before heading to Philadelphia and entering the "real world." It is going to be sad to drive away from here tomorrow.

The thing that is affecting me the most is leaving Paige. I am going to miss her SO much. She has become one of my best friends and, well, I'm not sure what else to call her… Girlfriend? Someone I'm dating? In the last couple of weeks our bond has become so much more than that. I need her; I physically, emotionally, and mentally NEED her. This deep connection to someone is so new to me.

I should have known better than to start something romantically with her when I knew we were both going to be leaving. But the heart wants what the heart wants. She's coming over tonight so we can spend our last night in town together. She is leaving tomorrow too: home to Philadelphia before leaving to start her new life in Atlanta. I shake that thought from my head; best not to think about that.

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I send Paige a quick text before resuming dinner preparations. **Door is unlocked. I'm in the kitchen. Come on in when you get here.**

I hear the front door shut and Paige call out to me from the hallway, "Em, I'm here."

I can't help but smile. Having her close to me makes me happy. It's as simple as that. "Hey, I'm back here in the kitchen."

I hear Paige walking down the hallway while I pour her a glass of wine. As she walks into the kitchen I walk up to her, give her a quick kiss, and hand her the glass.

She thanks me and inhales deeply through her nose. "Dinner smells great! What are you making?"

"Roasted turkey, wild rice, and steamed carrots, broccoli and squash. I'm not known for being much of a cook so keep that in mind. Wish me luck that I got it right," I say with a laugh.

"You do everything well; I'm sure dinner will be no different. Do you need any help?" Paige says, offering me a reassuring smile.

"No, I'm just getting ready to bring the food into the dining room. Can you light the candles on the table? There's a lighter sitting next to them," I say, nodding my head in the direction of the dining room.

We are seated across from each other as we enjoy the meal I've prepared. The overhead lights are dimmed and the candles allow flickering ambient light. The mood is romantic. Paige reaches across the table to take my hand in hers. "Thanks for having me over, Emily. This is has been wonderful. If I had known you could cook like this I would have asked you out months ago." Again with that damn adorable half grin.

"Thanks for making time to spend the evening with me. I know you're busy too." Paige gave me a look as if to say, "of course I'm spending my last night here with you."

Paige gets up to start clearing the dishes. She washes them as I clean off the table and clear out the dining room. Once I'm done I join her at the sink to help dry. Everything we do together is fun. She keeps spraying me with water. I keep slapping her ass with the dish towel.

I'm surprised when she grabs the towel and yanks it out of my hands. The look she gives me is devilish, and I know I'm in trouble. She counts down and arches her eyebrows, "3, 2, 1…" She starts to snap the towel at me playfully as I run to the dining room to grab the towel I was using to wipe down the table. We are chasing each other when I gain an advantage and catch up to her. Paige's towel got wrapped around the chair next to her. I lunged for it and threw it behind me leaving her defenseless.

The look I give her, I know, is intentionally sinister, in a sensual way. "Hmmm, what should I do now," I ask her playfully. Quickly, I wrapped my towel around her waist and pulled her to me. Our lips connected and I once again felt grounded by her. Right here, with our arms wrapped around each other and our lips giving way to our emotions is where I feel like I belong.

The night is spent lying wrapped with each other in bed. Our kisses display everything we are feeling. One minute we are engulfed in passion and the next we slow things down and let the reality that we are leaving tomorrow show in the desperate connection we are trying to make. Both of us were trying so hard not to fall asleep. We wanted every second we had together tonight to count.

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At some point through the night Paige and I fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms. When my alarm went off I tried to ignore it, hoping that by doing so I wouldn't have to leave this bed. I wouldn't have to leave Paige.

We silently start to get dressed to go our separate ways. There is heaviness in the air that feels tangible. It's as if the melancholy of our situation is hovering like a thick fog.

Paige has gathered her things to leave. I walk her to the door with our hands entwined. We are holding on so tight, I know it's the only thing keeping me together. Paige kisses me with so much emotion; I can feel the desires of her heart through the kiss. When she pulls away I see the glimmer of tears in her eyes. She looks at me and starts to say something, "Emily,….."

We can't have this conversation right now. I have a three hour drive home that I'll never get through it if I'm crying my eyes out. I place my finger to her lips to stop her from saying whatever she was about to say. "Paige…" I say , shaking my head. She looks down and nods. She understands. When she looks back up again the wetness in her eyes is lessened.

She clears her throat. "I'll see you on Tuesday, in two weeks. I'm so excited to have you in Philadelphia on my home turf."

Paige and I will be there together for two days before she has to leave for Atlanta. I already can't wait to see her. "I can't wait," I simply add in response and kissed her one last time before she left my apartment.

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All of my belongings are loaded up in my car and ready to hit the road. I dig in my purse to find my apartment key to leave on the kitchen counter. As I pull it out, a light blue envelope falls out and hits the floor near my feet.

I look down to see **"Emily"** written across it in Paige's handwriting. I quickly pick up the envelope and gently tear it open.

**Emily,**

**I just wanted to say thank you for dinner last night. It was great!**

**I have had such a wonderful time with you these past couple of weeks. I don't want you to go home because I know that I'm going to miss you so much. I hope you know how much I care about you and want to continue what we have started. I hope that when you go home you don't forget about me or the times that we have shared. I hope you don't deny me the chance to have an awesome relationship with you. I know that it will be difficult for you to handle and possibly even more difficult for others in your life to handle, but if your heart tells you to follow through with us, please take the chance. I promise I will be behind you every step of the way.**

**You know how I feel, Emily, now it's time for you to decide how you feel. If you decide to just be friends, I understand, but make that decision because that's honestly how you feel.**

**I'm looking forward to seeing you in two weeks. I know you will probably have a lot to think about between now and then. I'll talk to you soon and we can start planning what we want to do while we're in Philly.**

**Paige**

I wipe the tears from my eyes as I read to the end of the letter. I want to be with Paige so much. But she has recognized one of my fears. Paige and I have been in our own world the past two weeks. No one has been around to interfere, question our time together, or suspect anything other than friendship. I'm not ready to come out. I know that. What will a relationship with Paige be like when we are thrust into reality? And is a long distance relationship something we can do?


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Rosewood, PA is a pretty small town, relatively speaking. Coming back after being gone most of the past four years feels a little different. In most people's eyes I'm not a 22 year old college graduate. They remember the very young Emily with pigtails riding my bike with friends. Or the teen Emily, star of the swim team and loyal best friend. I get that, it's what they know.

That said, the college graduate Emily has gained independence away from home. I've met new people; experienced new things. Made mistakes and learned from them. Made the right choices and rejoiced in them. Most importantly, I've started to become my own person. It is freeing.

There is only one thing that keeps tickling the back of my mind…my relationship with Paige. Because in that regard I am not free. I am shackled by the beliefs of my family and I am bound by the perceptions of society. This is exactly how I feel. I am SO torn. I want to be with Paige so badly. And why must I feel guilty for this? Why can't I let everyone know how happy she makes me? How can something that makes me so happy alternately make me feel so bad? I don't know how people do this.

I've been home for one week now. Being away from Paige, being back in small town Rosewood, makes this inner turmoil ten times worse. Being near her, I am confident in my feelings for her. They are unwavering. She is an incredibly beautiful person inside and out. Our connection is organic; natural in every way. I want to be near her when we are apart. When I'm happy, I want to share that with her. When I'm upset, I know talking to her will soothe me. Her touch brings me to life. Her kisses show me love, security, and passion.

Being away from her, I have doubts, fears, and guilt. Doubts that maybe that isn't the life I want to live or can live. Doubts that Paige will hang in there with me through this. Fear of what people are going to think. Fear of my parents reactions. Fear of living 800 miles apart from Paige. Fear that my heart will break if we don't work out. Guilt at hiding her from my loved ones. Guilt from lying to my loved ones. Guilt that if I cannot handle this, I've strung Paige along. That is the VERY last thing I want to do.

I sound negative don't I? And that's not like me. The thing is: the good still outweighs the bad. I've been denying my feelings for so long that I can't help but feel elated that I've FINALLY made forward motion. I'm gaining traction in my own happiness. Whatever doubts or fears I may have, they aren't strong enough to make me end things with Paige. I will not do that to myself or her. I will not give in.

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Mom and I are sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast. She spoils me. What can I say? I'm certainly not going to deny her the opportunity to make me blueberry french toast, fresh fruit, and yogurt. What kind of daughter would I be? I'm fulfilling her desire to parent me.

"What are you doing today, honey?" mom asks, before taking a sip of her coffee.

"I told Hanna I would help her pack. She's leaving this weekend for New York."

"I ran into Ashley yesterday at the store. I think she's excited for Hanna but I know she is going to miss her. All of us parents are going to miss you girls."

I grabbed my mom's hand across the table and held it tightly. "I'm going to miss you too, mom. A lot. But we'll still see each other. It's not like I'm leaving the country."

She laughed. "I know, Em. It's just…you're growing up. It happened so fast. You're off to Philadelphia in a week to start a new phase of your life. One that you don't need me or your father for."

"No mom, I'll always need you and dad." I smile at her only half teasing when I add, "Especially when I can't find a job and I'm penniless on your doorstep."

"Nice try, dear," she replied, smirking. "The right job is out there waiting for you, Emily. You just have to be assertive and go out there and grab it."

"I might just have to find something for now. Then hopefully the right job will open up for me. Paige is going to ask her dad if he has any connections." I looked directly at my mom to gauge her reaction to me mentioning Paige before I continued. "I've actually been thinking about expanding my search to other cities…..like Atlanta."

"Atlanta? What on earth would make you think to look there?" Then she narrowed her eyes and pinned them on me. "That's where Paige is moving, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"Emily, you know how I feel about your friendship with her. It's not a good idea." She stood to take her plate to the sink. "Now I'm sure Paige is a nice enough girl but your association with her might be misleading."

Here we go. I threw my napkin to the table. What started as a lovely conversation has drastically spiraled out of control. "Really, mother? 'Mislead' how exactly? Might other people think I'm gay too? Will that change their opinion of me? Would that change YOUR opinion of me?"

I stood up so abruptly that my chair tipped over and hit the tile floor with a loud bang. I didn't even bother to pick it up. I yelled at my mother, "Hanna should have never let it slip to you that Paige is gay. You're not a big enough person to get past your own issues to see how wonderful she is."

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I stormed into Hanna's bedroom like a category 5 hurricane at sea. I was ready to cause some destruction.

Hanna held her hands up in surrender. "Whoa. Take it easy, Turbo. What is up with you?"

"Two words: My…Mother."

"Sorry, Em. Is she still on you about finding a job?"

"I wish," I said bluntly while rolling my eyes. "No, she thinks the gay that Paige has is catching…thank you." My tone dripped with sarcasm and agitation. I gave Hanna the kind of look she deserved at that point. She knew it too.

"Oh."

"Yeah, 'OH!' I cannot believe you outed Paige to my mom of all people, Hanna! My mom: the apparently judgmental ultraconservative!"

"Who cares what your mom thinks, Emily. Paige is awesome. Your mom will meet her someday and will realize she's not a threat." I wasn't sure what Hanna meant by "not a threat" but I let it go. "Besides, I think we all know that if anyone is gonna turn you it's me," Hanna continued with a playful wink.

Ok, I couldn't help but laugh at that. "Not helping, Hanna." I looked down to my feet and sighed. "Paige means a lot to me. We're…..very close, you know that." I wanted to tell Hanna so bad but couldn't say it. Not after the disaster of this morning. "My mom can barely stand to hear me talk about her. Her ignorance astounds me."

"Emily, I'm really sorry my big mouth is to blame. You know I love your mom but she's out of line." I smiled and gave her a big hug. She let me go and gestured around her room, "Now, these clothes aren't going to pack themselves so are you gonna help me or what?"

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On my drive home I decided to call Paige. Talking to her right now is about the only thing I can think of doing that will improve my mood. Thank God she picked up. "Hey," I said as soon as I heard her voice.

"Hey, it's so good…well I was going to say 'to hear your voice' but you sound a little down. What's wrong?"

"Pam Fields and her stubborn streak, that's what." I know she could hear the pout in my voice.

"Things not so rosy in Rosewood?" She laughed at her own joke. "See what I did there?"

Paige is such a dork sometimes. Normally this would make me laugh, but not tonight. "You could say that." I deadpanned.

"Ok, which thing is it? One of two things has her going…it's either a job or me."

I didn't say anything, which pretty much filled in the blank for Paige. She sighed. "It's me then."

I had previously told Paige about Hanna letting it slip to my mom that she's a lesbian. I didn't want to hide it from her. Our relationship has been going well so far because we are totally honest with each other. I won't stop that now. "No, Paige. It's my mom. She's the one with the problem."

"I don't think she sees it that way, Emily."

"Ok, let's not focus on that right now. She'll come around." I wanted to get our conversation on a more positive track. "I called because I miss you. I get to see you in four days! In four days I get to kiss your beautiful lips. In four days I get to look into your gorgeous brown eyes."

"I've missed you too, so much. I'm really looking forward to having you here in Philly. You are going to stay at my house, right?"

"Yeah, of course. I'll probably drop most of my stuff off at Spencer's townhouse then I'll head your way. Your parents don't mind me staying there, do they?"

"No, I've talked about you so much; I think my mom feels like she knows you already. My dad probably won't be home much, but I'm sure you'll at least get to meet him."

"I can't wait." I pulled into my driveway feeling much better than when I left a few hours earlier. "Hey, Paige?"

"Yeah, Em."

"Thanks for talking to me. I want you to know how much having you in my life means to me. I'm serious."

"Me too. Four more days, Emily. That's it. Three more bedtimes. Then we have each other for the whole weekend."

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I laid in bed that night feeling so grateful to have Paige in my life. She is everything I have wanted and more. As I drifted of to sleep I held on tight to these thoughts: two more bedtimes now until I get to feel her next to me, and I can do this.


	10. Chapter 10

**I'll be honest folks, I'm trying very hard to get some Paily motivation to write but damn, Christmas episode…what the what? Come on, how are they gonna do Paily that way? I am convinced: the writers play with Emily shippers like Ali plays with creepy dolls. Ain't nothin' bout that right…and here we go, I'm getting pissed again.**

**Deep breath…moving on, Philadelphia will have a place in this story as it develops. I love, LOVE it there. Confession: I've only been a handful of times; definitely not enough to be an expert. Keep that in mind for any of you that know the difference. Happy reading…**

**Chapter 10**

Life Is a Highway by Rascal Flatts is blaring through my cars speakers. I love to drive. I love this song. I love to drive while listening to this song. I always play it on road trips. I look down to my speedometer; I'm going way too fast. I have a lead foot and this song only elevates my need for speed. Really, it's not that easy to consider how fast you're driving when one) you're watching the road, two) you're singing very, very loudly, three) you're car dancing, and four) you're day dreaming about getting to see your girlfriend.

I was most excited about that last part. I'm on my way to Philadelphia to see Paige after being apart from her for two weeks. Other than Christmas break, that's the longest we've been apart since I've gotten to know her. Moreover, since we started seeing each other absence from her has been especially hard. It's something I'm going to have to get used to.

In three days Paige leaves for Atlanta. I thought a lot about this while I was in Rosewood the past few weeks. I know Paige was concerned that once I got home I would pull away. The opposite was true. I want to be around her more. We're going to have a lot of fun these next three days. Eventually we're going to have to have some serious discussions. If we continue this relationship, which I hope we do, how are we going to make long distance work? We'll both have to commit to seeing each other. I haven't told her yet that I'm going to start looking for jobs in Atlanta, if she is ok with it. It only makes sense that I look there too, given how much I want to be with her.

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I dialed Paige's number and waited for her to pick up. Within two rings she answered. "Emily, hi. Are you in town yet?"

"Yes, I just dropped everything off at Spencer's. Should I go ahead and make my way to your house?"

"Yeah, absolutely. I can't wait for you to get here. Where is Spencer's townhouse?"

"Queen Village, near Society Hill. You should see this place, Paige. I'm afraid to touch anything."

"You better get used to it, Em; that's your home now," she said, laughing. "Ok, so Queen Village…you're about 25 minutes from Chestnut Hill where my parents live. Are you leaving now?"

"I am. I'll see you in about half an hour. I can't wait."

"Me too. Drive safe."

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The drive through the neighborhoods of Philadelphia wasn't too bad. I truly love this city. I'm a major history buff, especially of colonial America, so you can only imagine my excitement to be here.

The closer I get to Chestnut Hill the more I can tell that it is a fairly affluent community. As with a lot of homes and buildings throughout this area, many look quite old. I would assume from as far back as the mid- to late-1800's if not older. There are tree lined streets showcasing stately, historic mansions with wooded lawns. Unique shops and row houses follow cobblestone streets in the community center. Not a bad place to grow up.

My map app alerts me that Paige's house should be coming up soon. I am shocked when I pull in front of the house as it tells me I have arrived. Business must be very good for Mr. McCullers. The house I grew up in could fit twice into this house. I'm staring up at a large, two-story stone colonial style home, sat back on a park like lot. There is a widow's walk set above what appears to be a large sunroom on the left side of the house. The manicured lawn and professionally tended to flowers and shrubs are perfection. I thought I was coming to my girlfriend's house. Little did I know I was stepping into a magazine cover.

I flip the sun visor to take a quick glance in the mirror. I'm getting ready to meet Paige's parents for the first time; I need to make sure I'm presentable. I get out of my car and make my way up the stone pathway to the front door. Paige answers almost immediately when I ring the doorbell. She wrapped me in a tight hug and ushered me through the front door.

The foyer is large and bright with sunlight streaming through from the front windows. The walls are covered with textured wallpaper in burnt orange. The dark, custom woodworking is polished to a shine. On both sides of where I stand are french doors leading to opposite ends of the house. Paige calls for her mom as she walks towards the back of the house. Each room we pass through is exquisitely furnished. Paintings hang from suspended chains so as not to damage the quality of the historic walls.

We walk into the kitchen where Paige's mother is standing over a slate center island. She looks up from chopping vegetables and smiles. Setting down the knife, she walked around the island and wrapped me in a hug. "You must be Emily," she said pulling back to look at me.

Paige resembles her mother so closely. Not in height, or coloring. But in every other way she is her mother's daughter. They have many of the same facial features and their expressions are spot on. Mrs. McCullers is a woman of class. She is wearing cropped khaki capri's and a light blue pin-striped oxford. A string of pearls hang from her neck.

"Thank you for having me, Mrs. McCullers. I am so glad to finally meet you." I hand her a bottle of wine I brought with me from Rosewood. I asked Paige what her mom liked before I came over. My mom always taught me: never show up as a guest to someone's house without a gift.

"Why thank you, Emily," she said with a bright smile. "This is so nice of you, dear. This is one of my favorites." She looked at Paige then back to me. "Now Emily, honey, please call me Clare."

"You have a lovely home, Mrs….uh, Clare. It looks to be quite old." I caught what I just said and how it sounded, quickly trying to correct course. "I don't mean old as in OLD…it's very nice...not worn down…old as in age…I mean." I looked to Paige for help. I didn't get any; she seemed to think this was quite amusing.

Clare laughed. "Thank you. I understand. The house was built in 1896. I try to do what I can to ensure that we preserve the historic qualities of the home while still being able to modernize. Paige, why don't you show Emily to one of the guest rooms and help her get settled. I'll call you two when dinner is ready."

We walk back towards the front of the house and up to the second floor. Paige points to one of the rooms we pass along the way and mentions it as her room. "How many bedrooms does this house have, Paige?"

"Six total." She looked around and pointed as we walked up the stairs, "Two upstairs on each wing of the house. Two down on the main level: my parents' master suite; it has something to do with wanting their room down there so they don't have to climb stairs when they get older. And then another guest bedroom."

"Aren't you an only child?"

"Yeah, why?" she asked back.

"No reason." If Paige didn't think anything of having four giant bedrooms no one had a need for, I didn't think anything of it either.

"I'm putting you in the guest room closest to mine. That way, when you sneak into my room tonight you won't have far to go," she said with a wink.

"Pretty confident I'm going to want to sleep in your bed tonight, McCullers," I responded with a sly smile.

"You better."

As soon as Paige led me into the guest room she shut the door and kissed me, hard. With that kiss she was trying to convey just how much she had also missed me the past two weeks. I wrapped my hands around the back of her neck and pulled her closer to me.

When we separated to take a breath she said, "I've wanted to do that since you stepped out of your car."

"I've missed you so much, Paige. I'm looking forward to the next two days with you."

"Me too. I have some fun things planned for us this weekend. We have to get through dinner tonight with my mom though. I hope that's ok."

"Of course it's ok. I really want to get to know your family." I just realized I had not seen or heard Paige's father anywhere. "Where is your dad?"

"He got called away for business. Something came up in his San Francisco office. I doubt he'll be home this weekend." She shrugged her shoulders as she told me.

"Will he be home by the time you leave on Monday?"

"I don't know. He hasn't told me." She said this as if it was no big deal.

"Won't you want to see him before you leave for Atlanta?" I asked, surprised by her lack of emotion.

"Emily, my relationship hasn't been the best with my dad since I transferred out of UPENN. Maybe it's best to leave town this way. We can leave with silence as opposed to an argument."

She started opening up drawers to help me unpack, and with that, I knew she didn't want to talk about it anymore. This is the most I think we've ever talked about her father.

Paige helped me get settled and showed me where towels and guest robes were in my bathroom. By the time we were done Clare called us down for dinner.

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The meal was delicious. I insisted on helping to clear the dishes. Finally, after some persistence on my part, Clare relented and let me help.

After the kitchen was cleaned up we made our way to the back patio to enjoy the wine I brought for Clare. The back yard was peaceful. They had neighbors but there was enough distance and landscaping to block anything from view. Plus, they had an elaborate stone and wooden railed fence that surrounded the property allowing for privacy.

I pointed to the carriage house near the pool and asked what it was used for. Clare answered, "When we had the pool installed we converted it into a pool house. It could really be used as an in-law suite if we ever need it as our parent's age. The other half is my home gym."

I jumped on the chance to compliment Paige's mother. "That is how you stay so fit? It shows." Paige elbowed me in the side from her position seated next to me.

"Well thank you, Emily. I'm afraid it takes a good deal more work now than it did when I was you kids' age."

Paige finally spoke up. "Mom, we're not kids anymore. I'm 22."

"You'll always be my kid, Paige." She looked to me. "Emily, I'm sure your mother feels the same way about you." I nodded my head. "Though I doubt you gave your mother as hard of a time as Paige gave me. I tell you, this child was curious about everything and she loved animals."

"Mom…please don't…" Paige cut in.

"Honey, it's rude to interrupt," Clare said, turning to Paige. "As I was saying, Paige loved animals." She pointed to the carriage house. "Before we renovated that it was nothing more than a fancy barn. Paige saw to it that it needed to be filled with animals. I'd come home and she'd regularly have a poor new critter trapped in there." Paige rolled her eyes and sighed. I threw my head back in laughter.

"Oh she gave our grounds crew a time," she said, shaking her head at the memory. "I remember the afternoon I came home from my ladies lunch at the club to find our entire yard crew running around chasing animals." Paige sat back and groaned as her mother continued with the story. "Paige captured one neighbors two dogs, two wild rabbits, another neighbor's cat, her friend Mallory's pet lizard, and her own turtle. She came running up to me with tears in her eyes and her bottom lip quivering and said, 'Momma, they're ruining my zoo!' Now how could I be mad at that?"

I was laughing hysterically by that point. Paige sat next to me pouting. I pushed her shoulder. "Oh, come on, Paige. It's cute."

"On that note…" She stood and pulled me up with her. "Mom, I think Emily and I are going to go get ready for bed, if you don't mind. I'm sure Emily is tired from her drive and we're going to have a busy day tomorrow." Then she nudged my shoulder and gave me a knowing look.

"Sure, dear. I'll see you two tomorrow. I'm going to turn in as well."

I said goodnight to Clare and followed Paige into the house. We went our separate ways until we were sure Clare was in her room getting ready for bed.

I crept down the hallway and made my way into Paige's bedroom. With the moons iridescent rays filtering through the shutters, I could just barely make out her silhouette lying beneath the covers. As I neared her bed, she pulled the covers back and let me snuggle in next to her. I craved her warmth and gentle touch. She curled her body around mine and pulled me closer as she wrapped her arm around my stomach.

She brushed the hair from my neck and kissed me softly just below my ear; right where I like it. She whispered, "It feels so good to have you here, Emily."

I squeezed the hand that was resting on my stomach and whispered to myself, "There's nowhere else I'd rather be."


	11. Chapter 11

**I've taken a step back from my knee-jerk 513 reaction, sobered up some (not literally), and I am feeling rejuvenated in Paily goodness. It's going to be OK, kids. We can't know anything until 514. No news for now is good news I say. Lindsey Shaw has been Paige for five seasons. They can't just make her disappear to this place called California in the country of Out of Town in silence. Until confirmation happens, IF that happens, we keep on keepin' on people. I've seen a lot of writer/producer hate going on since Tuesday's episode. Don't hate the writer, hate the game.**

**The Christmas episode gave me some inspiration for a new story after I finish this one. I'll hopefully be updating quite often so I can move on to this next story. I've still got quite a bit to go. For now, chapter 11…**

**Chapter 11**

I could feel myself slowly begin the process of waking up. I became more aware of the position I was lying in; on my stomach with one arm tucked under my body and the other stuffed under my pillow. I could begin to see the faintest light creeping into my consciousness. I blinked one eye open. All I could see was my own dark hair covering my face and sunlight begin to invade the custom wood shutters.

Ah, yes, I am in Paige's room. I pull my hand out from under the pillow and search the other side of the bed for her. I came up empty. Brushing the hair out of my face, I sit up and begin to look around her bedroom. She's not here. I didn't hear her get up this morning. In fact, I can't hear a sound now. If I didn't know better I'd say I'm the only person in the house. Then again, there could be 30 people in this large house and you'd never know it.

I get out of Paige's bed and make my way to my guest room. At least I began the night in here. My bed is unmade since I laid in it for about 15 minutes waiting to sneak into Paige's room. I grab the guest robe provided for me and make my way through the house deciding to start with the kitchen.

That is where I find Paige. She has her back to me facing the sink and looking towards the back yard. She's still in her pajamas: short boxer briefs in pink and purple plaid with a purple tank top. This girl is gorgeous and I don't think she has any idea how much. Her legs are toned and I can't help the way my eyes run the length of them. Then I make my way to appreciate her tight torso and upper body. It's easy to see the competitive athlete Paige used to be. Her arms and shoulders are defined with lean muscle that it still deliciously feminine. I suddenly feel the need to reach out and touch her.

Taking a look around to check that we are alone, I make my way to the sink. I wrap my left arm around her waist and rest my chin on her right shoulder. "Good morning," I say, turning my head to the left and smiling into her neck.

Paige turns around in my arms and gives me a sweet kiss. "Good morning, beautiful."

"Where is your mom this morning?"

"She has a tennis league at the club on Saturday mornings. Most likely she'll eat lunch there with friends before coming home."

I look around the kitchen and notice that Paige has an assortment of food sitting on the center island; everything from fruit and cheeses to various crackers, olives and cured meats. I sweep my hand over the island. "What is all this?"

"Well, it's all part of our plans for today." Paige smiled in excitement. "I'm packing us a light lunch. We're going on a scenic river tour."

Her enthusiasm was contagious. "That sounds great!" I said back, equally as excited for the day.

Paige looked at her watch. "Speaking of, we need to get going soon. I sat out some yogurt and granola for breakfast. We can eat quickly and get ready to go."

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Paige parked in a fenced off parking lot along Kelly Drive. A sign at the front of the lot said "members only." _Members of what? _I wondered to myself. As we walked closer to the river, large two-story stone and wooden structures came into view. There looked to be over ten of them sat in a row along the Schuylkill River's edge. A placard at the sidewalk alerted me to where we are: "Boathouse Row."

I follow Paige blindly, not understanding what we're doing here. Paige unlocked a large overhead door on the lower level of one of the largest boathouses in the row. As I follow her through the door I look around. There are racks and racks of sculls of various size, color and design lining the interior. Stacked near them are oars of various lengths. Paige opens another door on the opposite wall of where we walked in. This overhead door leads directly to a ramp on the river's edge. "Uh, Paige, what are we doing here?"

"River tour. I told you." She said as she starts to remove two smaller oars and heads towards the back of the racks.

"Ohhhhh no, you said 'SCENIC RIVER TOUR'…not RIVER ROW. I don't know the first thing about rowing a racing scull, Paige."

She laughs as she drags a canoe from the back of the stacks. "Relax, Em. We're not taking a scull. We're taking this," she said, pointing down at the canoe. "But let's hurry…I don't want any of my racing buddies to see me in this thing."

I just stand there looking at her, still unsure of this little adventure she has planned out. "Is that canoe even yours? What is the place?"

"The canoe is my dad's. He bought in case my mom ever wanted to come out with him; which she never has, by the way. This is the rowing club dad and I belong to. It is membership through invite only and one of the longest standing, most prestigious clubs in existence in the US."

"You all go big or go home, don't you?" I remarked, crossing my arms and smiling down at Paige while she gathers our equipment.

"You haven't met my dad yet. Just wait. You'll answer your own question as soon as you meet him."

Paige helped me get into the canoe and then got in her own self. She placed the backpack with our picnic lunch in between our two seats. She gave me a brief lesson on how to paddle and off we went.

"Are we just going to paddle up and down the river?" I asked looking around.

Paige looked back to me and smiled. "No, silly. We'll take the Schuylkill River Trail to this little park I know down river. We can have our picnic there. For now, just enjoy the peace of the water and the sights of Philadelphia."

I did as Paige instructed. This paddling thing really is kind of peaceful. I don't know what it's like rowing a racing scull but this canoe is pretty great. I look up to the sky and enjoy the warmth of the sun on my face. I take a deep cleansing breath. It is times like these when I realize how fortunate I truly am to experience moments like this. I get to enjoy beautiful early summer days, in a wonderful city, with my amazing girlfriend. If that doesn't make you appreciate life I don't know what will.

I bring my head down to face Paige in front of me. I can tell she is thinking the same thing as me. She has had a huge smile on her face since we pulled away from the river bank. Paige has been looking around enjoying the views that surround us and keeps taking big breaths, filling her lungs with the kind of rejuvenating oxygen I know she only gets here.

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Paige steered the canoe towards the river bank where I assume the park she mentioned must be. She grabs the backpack and helped me out of the canoe. Once we're on land I still feel as though I'm rocking in the canoe. It takes a minute, with Paige keeping me steady, to get my balance.

I follow Paige as she weaves through the park and cuts through a trail leading to a secluded meadow. She spreads the blanket she packed on top of the grass and waits for me to sit down. We both unpack the food and drinks. While I'm arranging the food, Paige docks her iPhone on the portable speaker. Soon we are listening to music in a serene little meadow all by ourselves.

I never pictured myself as one of these people. I didn't even think they existed except for the pharmaceutical commercials where they try to make life look great all while the voiceover talks about side effects of medications and stuff. Anyway…you know those people? They go on romantic picnics. Lay on blankets together holding hands. Feed each other fruit. Give each other goo goo eyes. Kiss each other like a dream. Yeah, those people. Well, my people I guess, because here I sit doing all of those things. And I am loving it. That's right, LOV-ING it.

I turn my face to the right to look at Paige. She looks deep in thought. I decide to break the silence we are cocooned in. "I like it here. How did you find this place, Paige?"

She took a deep breath and sighed. "When I was about 13 my dad and I started really butting heads. He would push me so hard while I was training in my single scull. He'd follow behind me pointing out the flaws in my technique or shouting out my times." She turned her head to look at me directly. "I got so tired of it. One day, I pulled way out ahead and lost him around the bend. I left my scull on the bank and ran through the park. I just wanted a damn break. That's when I found this."

I squeezed Paige's hand. "You don't talk much about your dad, Paige. Were you two ever close?" I couldn't imagine not being close with my own father. He is one of my closest friends and confidants.

"When I was little I worshiped my dad. He could do no wrong. I thought he was perfect." Paige sat up and started picking at the blades of grass near her hands. "Then I realized there is no such thing as perfect. He expected me to be perfect too and I just…wasn't. My teen years were especially hard. Later, when I left UPENN that pretty much ruined any relationship we still had."

I sat up next to her and put my hand on her knee. "He didn't agree with you leaving?" I already knew a little about this but Paige was in a talking mood and I wanted to encourage that.

She laughed, eerily, almost. "Ha, no! He said I would be ruining my life giving up my rowing scholarship. 'There goes your shot at the Olympics, Paige! Hope you're happy now!' He actually said that to me."

Paige was more emotional than I've ever seen her. Warring expressions were flitting over her face. She was angry and devastated all at the same time. I reached for her hand and brought it to my lips. "Paige, I know it doesn't seem like it now, but I have to believe that things will turn around some day. He's your father."

"Not much of one," Paige said, with her head hung low.

I kissed her softly. "Babe, I want you to know that I'll always be here for you. It's not the same, I know, but you will always be able to count on me."

"Babe?" Paige asked, looking up to me with her eyebrows raised.

"What?" _Did she just call me babe? That's cute._

"You called me babe." Paige said, with a huge grin lighting up her face.

"No I didn't." _Did I?_

"But you did. You just called me babe."

_Ok, well that answers that. _I looked down, embarrassed by this for some reason. "Sorry." It felt so natural that I didn't even notice I'd said it.

Paige placed her fingers gently under my chin and raised my head to look her in the eyes. She kissed me with passion. Breaking the kiss, she smiled, leaning her head back slightly to look at me again. "Emily, I liked it. I like that you have a nickname for me. And I do know I can count on you. You have no idea how much that means."

Her words were sincere and they drew me to her more. I leaned Paige back as I connected our lips. Immediately Paige responded and coaxed my tongue into her mouth. I brought my hands under her shirt and ran them up and down her stomach and chest, letting my finger tips brush delicately along her smooth skin. Her stomach muscles twitched as I did so. Paige pulled back from the kiss reluctantly. I tried to go in for more but she stopped me. "As much as I want to continue this, we should head back to the canoe. We don't want to be on the water at dusk." This got a pout from me but I supposed she had a point.

As Paige and I gathered the picnic items she looked up to me. "You know, I need a nickname for you now. How about Love Nugget?" She said, with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

_Oh, look who has jokes now?_ I shook my head no.

"Honey Bunny?"

That one got no response from me. We start walking back towards the river bank as Paige continues. "No then. Ok. Dumpling?"

I hide my smile and shake my head again. "No, Paige."

"Doll Face?"

"Nope."

Now she's just being ridiculous. She keeps tossing out one nickname after the next in quick succession. "Cuddle Bear? Shnookums? Babycakes? Pumpkin?"

Then Paige stopped and snapped her fingers. She stepped behind me and looked me up and down. "Ready? This is it…Sweet Ass."

I thought a moment and said with a smile, "Yeah, Sweet Ass might be ok." We looked at each other and laughed as we made our way back to the canoe.

Paige ran ahead of me yelling out, "Sweet Ass it is!"

I stopped and called after her, "Wait, I wasn't serious!"


	12. Chapter 12

**This one is kind of rough on Paige at first…**

**Chapter 12**

On the drive back to the house from Boathouse Row we decided to get cleaned up and go to dinner at one of Paige's favorite sushi restaurants. We walked in the door, both intending to shower and get cleaned up for dinner. As we made our way up the stairs, Clare called up from the foyer, "Good, you girls are home. I hope you enjoyed your day out." Not waiting for conversation from us, she continued. "Paige, your father flew back in this afternoon. He'd like the four of us to attend dinner together tonight."

Paige looked down at her mother and signed. "Mom, Emily and I already made dinner plans tonight. You'll have to let dad know that we will not be joining you."

"Honey, your dad already made reservations-"

"You mean his assistant made reservations," Paige mumbled hotly under her breath.

"There's no cause for this hostility, Paige. Your father would like to meet Emily and spend time with you before you leave. Reservations are for 8pm." Clare then turned to me. "Emily, dear, did you happen to bring a dress with you?"

"Yes, I did actually. I suppose this is one of those occasions when it pays off to over pack," I joked, hoping to quell some of the tension.

"Wonderful, we'll leave here at 20 till." And with that, Clare left us to finish our ascent up the stairs to get ready.

As we make our way Paige apologizes, "I'm sorry our night together has been high jacked. That's two nights in a row now that you've been forced to endure my parents."

I grab Paige's hand, "It's ok, honest. I do want to meet your father, Paige. I know your relationship with him is strained but he's your dad. It's important to me. Besides, my mom is a hot mess. When you meet her I'll probably actually have a reason to apologize."

She rolled her eyes at me so I changed the subject. "I'm surprised your dad was able to book a return flight back that quickly. I'd have thought he'd have to wait since he didn't know when his business would be finished."

Paige shrugged. "He took one of our jets so he really didn't have to wait. All he had to do was call the pilot on his way back to the airport. Once the pilot logged the flight plan and got clearance they were probably wheels up."

She said this like it was so commonplace to just hop on the family's jet. I guess it was for her. "Oh" was all I said. How else do I respond to that? It is so far removed from my life that I can't wrap my head around it.

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At 20 till 8 we met Paige's parents in the foyer. Standing there is Nick McCullers, Paige's father. I remembered seeing him from a distance standing in the quad after graduation. He looked even more intimidating up close. Paige must have been able to sense my hesitation. She squeezed my hand as we made our way down the stairs. "Don't worry, he's going to love you," she said in reassurance. "And you look beautiful."

I was so glad I brought this little black dress with me. My smile grew with her compliment and I squeezed her hand back. "Thanks, you do too." And she did. This might be the first time I've seen Paige in a dress like this and she took my breath away. She's wearing a dress with a navy sheath beneath a brighter blue lace overlay; she's gorgeous.

We dropped each other's hands as we came in view of Mr. and Mrs. McCullers. Mr. McCullers made a quick gesture to Paige with a subtle nod, "Paige." As I approached, he reached for my hand to greet me, giving me a firm handshake. "You must be Ms. Fields. It's a pleasure to meet you. Welcome to Philadelphia."

I made sure to keep eye contact and grip his hand just as firmly as he was mine. Knowing his reputation as a keen businessman, I somewhat felt I was in the middle of an interview. "Hi, Mr. McCullers. It's so nice to finally meet you. Thank you for allowing me into your home this weekend. And please, call me Emily."

"I'm sorry to rush us out of the house, Emily. We have reservations at one of my favorite little restaurants. I think you'll like it," he said as he ushered us through the front door.

The ride to the restaurant was fairly quiet, save for the random statement made by Mr. and Mrs. McCullers as they would point out locations of interest around Chestnut Hill.

The restaurant looked very charming as we pulled up to the valet service. Our party was seated immediately, the maître d having recognized Mr. McCullers right way. The restaurant was luxurious. That's the first word that comes to mind. Every texture, surface and linen was made with the highest quality available. The lights were low with muted fixtures hung above each table. The décor was colored in rich browns, deep reds and plush leathers. A large stone fireplace was the focal point in the main dining room. It's not lit now, in the summer, but I imagine in the cooler months it adds a very nice ambiance to the room.

Mr. McCullers ordered for all of us, which I wasn't all too pleased about but I let it go. He was obviously trying to make a show of something, what that was I wasn't sure. First impressions tell me he is a very prideful man and considers himself lord of the land.

The meal was pleasant and conversation flowed easily. Clare McCullers is a wonderful woman. Anytime she caught tension brewing between Paige and her father she would lead the conversation into much safer territory. I filled the role of her sidekick in that regard. I quickly filled moments of awkward silence with a question to Mr. or Mrs. McCullers or a comment about Philadelphia or other safe topics of interest.

"Tell me, Emily. What brought you to Philadelphia after graduation?" Mr. McCullers asked conversationally.

"One of my best friends from back home, Spencer Hastings, just graduated from UPENN and is now entering their law program. She was the one who really pushed for me to move here. And it made sense; I didn't plan to stay home in Rosewood."

He looked straight to Paige, "Hear that Paige? Her friend just graduated from UPENN." I winced at his statement and couldn't help but feel as though I walked right into that. Even I could hear the discord in his voice directed at Paige with that comment.

"Yes dad, I heard her. Are we going to get into this now at the dinner table?" Paige asked with a plea in her words. "I've already graduated, okay? I've got my degree, I'm moving on. I start a great job, for goodness sakes in one week."

"Yes, that's right; with one of my best friends advertising firms let me remind you. Luckily the McCullers name opens doors for you. I'd hate to think what you'd have done without it," her father spat out.

I was shocked at his tone and total disregard for his daughter's talents and hard work. For her part, Paige remained calm and collected. "No, DAD, you didn't have anything to do with this. I got this job on my own and the ONLY reason I accepted was because it's one of the best firms in the country and Michael assured me I was hired on my merits alone!" Paige stood to leave, "Can you really not give me that much credit? You think that little of me?" Lastly, she turned to look at her mom, "And you, you really can't understand why the mere thought of this man makes me, what did you call it earlier…'hostile.'"

Paige looked at me finally with so much sadness in her eyes, it wrenched my heart. "Don't let the charm fool you. This right here is the real Nick McCullers." Then she stormed out through the front door.

I stood to follow her. "Thank you for dinner. It was, uh, lovely. Please excuse me."

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I found Paige sitting on a bench in a small park across the street from the restaurant. She was crouched over with her face in her hands when I walked up to her. I sat down and gently put my hand on her shoulder. "Paige?" I asked gingerly. She looked up to me with tears running down her cheeks. The sight broke my heart. "Are you ok?"

Her face hardened with resolve. "I will be as soon as I get away from him."

I took one of her hands and held it in my own. "I'm sorry, babe. I know you said your relationship was strained, but I truly had no idea the depth of it until just now."

"Sorry you had to see that. People think my dad is this great guy," Paige said, looking up to the starry nighttime sky with an exaggerated sigh. "He runs a very successful business. He is involved in philanthropic work. He is a pillar of the community. BUT, he's a terrible father. I have no idea how it got this way. When I was little, he was amazing…then he just…changed. Suddenly, family was not near as important as his work or everything else."

Paige's sadness was palpable and I felt it in my soul. I wished there was something, anything that I could do for her. The only thing I could offer for now was my support. I kissed her gently before saying, "I'm sorry, Paige. Please know that I'm here for you for whatever you need."

"Thanks, Em. I appreciate that, I really do. For the past year you have been the one constant in my life that I could count on. You can't know how much that means to me."

I smiled down at her as I stood to leave. Pulling her up with me in a tight hug I said into her ear, "Come on, babe, let's get you home."

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Paige and I took a cab back to her parent's house from the restaurant. She was exhausted as a result of the emotional strain from the argument with her father. As soon as we got home we climbed into her bed and held each other close.

Paige was snuggled tight to my body. Her head was resting on my chest and she had one leg draped over mine. I had one arm wrapped around the back of her and was grazing my hand through her hair. My other hand rested on the leg that was draped over me.

We were both silent. It was peaceful in the quite of the dark bedroom. To speak would have broken that solitude and we both needed it after the evening we had just endured. Paige's resilience amazes me. It must take true strength of character and self-assuredness to stand tall to your own father as he belittles and berates you. I've never seen or experienced anything like it. My respect for this wonderful woman increased tenfold.

I decide to break the silence that surrounded us. I bend my head towards her and place a gentle kiss to her forehead. "What are you thinking about?" I ask softly.

"Honestly? You." I feel her smile against my chest as she answers.

"Me? What about?" I am genuinely curious to know.

"About a lot. I'd have never thought when we first met that I'd be laying here in bed with you of all people."

"Uh, thanks Paige," I say, with a shove to her shoulder.

She laughed softly. "Ok, that came out wrong. Let me clarify- that I'd be LUCKY enough to be laying here in bed with you of all people."

"Better…." I trailed off waiting for her to continue.

"I mean it though, Emily. I do feel fortunate to be with you. I was interested in you for a long time without seeing any hope of these feelings for you coming to formalize anything between us. Now it's happened and it's great. But in a few days-"

I cut her off. "I know, Paige. We have a lot to talk about about…tomorrow. For now, let's be in this moment." I decided to share with her what I've been holding back since we first started this romantic journey. "You know, I noticed you way before you and Michael approached me after Stats."

"You did? When? Where? I'd remember meeting you," Paige insisted.

I nodded my head in silent confirmation. "We didn't actually meet. I saw you at Winsted's. It was before first semester started. I left some stuff at home in Rosewood so I stopped there to pick up the few things I needed. I was standing in the checkout line when you came to help the cashier with a price check. I couldn't take my eyes off of you. When you turned to walk away the direction you'd come from our eyes met, and I caught sight of your name on your badge. I never forgot it or you."

Paige slightly raised her head from my chest but didn't look at me. "Wait, so you knew who I was when we met in Stats? Emily Fields, you little sneak!" she teased while tickling at my side.

I laughed and squirmed from her. "I did. Yep. I knew exactly who you were, and I was pleased I had gotten to actually meet you." I hugged her closer to me so she could feel the truth of what I would next say. "Paige, I need you to understand me when I say, my relationship with you, this isn't some kind of experiment or phase. I want to be with you and I've known it since the first time I saw you. It was then, feeling my physical and subconscious reaction to you that I decided I wanted to give in to this. It may have taken me almost all year to summon the courage to get here, but I'm here, and I am so happy that I'm here with you."

Paige was silent for a few minutes. It was a little unsettling if I'm being honest considering what I just shared with her. "What's going to happen with us, Emily? When I move? We'll be 800 miles apart." She raised her head to look me in the eyes. "I'd be lying if I said it didn't worry me."

"I don't know, Paige." I tucked the hair that had fallen over her face behind her right ear. In the same motion I laced my fingers through her hair and pulled her to me. "But for now, please, kiss me."

Paige rolled us over so that I was now on top of her. "With pleasure, Sweet Ass," she said, squeezing my backside and leaning in to kissing me with passion.

"Paige, stop calling me that," I said, laughing as I broke the kiss after several minutes. Before she should protest I silenced her as I brought our lips together again.


	13. Chapter 13

**I love it. Hahaha, one of y'all commented that Nick is a dick. He is indeed.**

**Just a little chapter below to get us ready for the heavy hitter chapter 14 turned out to be. It's written but not ready to post.**

**Chapter 13**

Sunday morning came so quickly. This is my last full day with Paige before she leaves Monday morning for Atlanta. After we woke up I went to my guest bathroom to freshen up as did Paige in her bathroom. We made our way to the kitchen together. I am silently hoping her parents aren't here, well her dad anyways. After the disaster of last night I think Paige could use a little distance from him.

As we enter the kitchen I can tell her parents have been up for the day and are presumably out already. Thank God one of them left some coffee for us.

Neither one of us are that hungry so we each grab a bowl of granola and fruit then settle in at the breakfast nook together. "Where do you think your parents are?" There's no note from her parents about where they are. All of them just come and go as they please, having their own plans for the day whether they involve anyone else in the family or not. My parents and I spend a great deal of time together, or at least we did when we lived in the same house. Their family dynamic is not one that I am used to.

Paige looked up from her cereal bowl, "Church most likely. Dad is a deacon so when he is in town on a Sunday they always go."

"Why didn't you tell me? We could have gotten up to go with them." Now I felt bad that Paige missed out on going to church with her parents.

"No, it's ok. I stopped going to church with my parents when I started at UPENN," Paige explained. "On the occasion that I did attend church there is one closer to campus that I went to. But today is for you. Nothing else."

"You know, I just noticed something. Where are all of your boxes?" I asked Paige. "You're moving to Atlanta tomorrow and I haven't seen a single thing packed."

"Oh, it's already down there. The movers drove everything down on Thursday. They should have everything unpacked and ready by the time I get to my house late Monday night," Paige answered matter-of-factly.

"Well that's pretty nice. Most people our age can't arrange a whole team of people to do the work for them like that." Paige gave me a look then. "I don't mean that as a bad thing," I clarified. "It's good. This way you will have a better chance this week to get settled personally before you start your job next week."

"You're right, it is fortunate. I guess having Nick McCullers as my father pays off when it comes to things like that. He had his assistant set it all up for me."

We were both startled when my phone chimed with a text alert from Spencer. **What are you & Paige up to today? Lunch? I want to meet this friend you and Hanna keep talking about. **

"Who is it?" Paige asks.

"It's Spencer. She wants to know if we can have lunch. I'll let her know we have things planned today and can't go," I answer as I start typing a message back to Spencer.

Paige puts her hand over mine to stop me from texting. "Wait, we can have lunch with her if you want. I want to get to know your other friends. I know how close you are to Aria, Spencer and Hanna." She gave my hand a squeeze before letting go. "Besides, it will make up for me subjecting you to a whole weekend of my parents," she says with a shrug of her shoulders.

I beamed at her, happy she was interested in getting to know my friends. She was right after all, they do mean a lot to me. "Ok, sure," I said as I sent a message back to Spencer. **Sure, that'd be great! Where and when?**

Spencer sent a response almost immediately. **I'm good for whatever. I can come to you. Where do her parents live?**

I was glad she was willing to come to us. That meant more time alone with Paige. **Chestnut Hill. Paige said there is a good little Italian place on the square. Café Arezzo. Meet us there at 12:30?**

Spencer agreed to meet us three hours from now. "So what do you want to do for now?" I asked, wanting to take advantage of as much of our time together today as possible. 

Paige looked past me out the windows to the back yard. "Looks like a nice day out. Swim?"

I haven't been in the pool much since high school but that didn't change the fact that I still loved to swim. "I'd love to but all of my suits are at Spencer's townhouse."

Paige smiled at me as she got up to take our bowls to the sink. "Then you're in luck. My mom buys a bunch of new bathing suits and swim trunks for guests at the beginning of summer. They are washed and ready to wear. You can go on out to the pool house and pick one out. I'll go get mine on and meet you out there."

I sure didn't need to be told twice. I ran out to the pool house with an extra pep to my step. I found a bikini that I liked with red and white stripes and small navy colored anchors printed throughout. Once I changed I went out to the pool and sat on the steps in the shallow end waiting for Paige. When I heard the back door close I looked up to see Paige sauntering towards me in a bright purple bikini. My jaw actually dropped. You know the saying "Thin girls look good in clothes but fit girls look good naked." Paige is the closest I've ever seen to her naked right now and I can confirm: she is smoking HOT.

Paige quirked her eyebrows. "Like what you see?"

I couldn't even hide it. I didn't want to. "Hell yes, come here!"

She started laughing then ran towards the deep end and jumped in. "I think you should come get me!" she yelled out playfully as she surfaced.

I shot through that water like a bullet. In no time I had reached Paige and tangled my body with hers. I guided us over to the nearest wall and pinned her up against it with my body. "I've got you," I said as I started to kiss along her neck. I had my hands on each of her hips and gently swirled my thumbs across the sensitive skin there.

She sighed just before I moved up to her mouth. "God, Emily that feels so good."

"What time do your parents usually get home from church?" I asked.

"Could be any time," she answered just as we heard the entry gate to the driveway open. "Or now."

I stopped kissing her neck immediately. "Great," I said sarcastically as I started to tread water back away from Paige.

A few minutes later Clare came out through the back door. "There you girls are. I wondered when I couldn't track you down in the house. Enjoying the pool?"

I smiled up to Clare. "Hi, Clare. Yes, it's such a beautiful day, seemed silly not to take advantage of it."

"Nick and I hardly use it anymore. It's good that you are getting good use out of it." She turned to look directly at Paige, "Your father is going in to the office. I'll be inside if you girls need anything."

"Thanks, mom." We spent the next half hour floating around on rafts basking in the sunlight. "Do you miss swimming competitively?" Paige asked me.

"I do sometimes. At first, right after my shoulder injury, I missed it a lot. I began coping with it better and better as time went on." I thought a brief moment as I continued. "Actually, I guess it was a blessing in disguise. I was so well known as being a star swimmer that it sort of overtook my identity. Emily was just my name…star swimmer is who I was. Without that I've been able to come into my own in a way that I wasn't able to before."

"Is that also why you never joined a sorority? I mean, I'm shocked Hanna never pushed you to be a Gamma." Paige was correct there. Hanna practically begged me to join her sorority.

"Yes, that is why I never rushed. In doing so I felt that I just would just be seen as Emily from Gamma Gamma or whichever sorority. I wanted to go all in on this doing my own thing deal and becoming me independent of everything else. That meant not rushing, though you're right, Hanna did beg me. "I thought about it pretty seriously but ultimately decided not to rush." It would have been fun but I am happy with my decision.

"Yeah, no offense but I'm kinda glad you didn't rush. I'd have a hard time calling my sorority sister Sweet Ass," Paige said with a glint in her eyes.

"Paige…" I warned, soaking her and her raft with a super splash of water.

"Hey!" she yelled back at me.

_Ok, I'll make this interesting. _I thought for a moment. "I tell you what. We'll have a race from one end of the pool to the other. If I win, you never get to call me Sweet Ass ever again. If you win you can say it anytime you want."

Paige propped up on her raft. "Oh, you are so on."

We threw our rafts to the side and took our places along the back wall on the deep end. Paige looked over to challenge me. "Just so you know my dad had me in swim lessons from the time I could tread water. He said if I was going to be in a scull I also had to be a top notch swimmer just in case the scull overturned. Don't say I didn't warn you."

"I feel pretty good about my chances," I said back with confidence. "Now quite stalling, McCullers."

I counted down to one and we both rocketed off the wall. No matter what Paige said she really didn't stand a chance. Before my shoulder injury I was a top Division One recruit. Regardless of the injury I was still lightening fast…in short bursts, and that's all I needed for this race.

I was propped up on the opposite wall waiting for Paige when her hand touched the side. She came up wiping the water from her face. "Hi," I said with a smirk.

Paige didn't say a word. She just slapped the water with her hand and pouted.

I threw my head back in laughter as I walked up the stairs to get out of the pool. Looking back I said, "Come on Speedy, we've got lunch with Spencer to get ready for."


	14. Chapter 14

**I'm very interested to hear your thoughts on the ending of this chapter. I wrote it and yet it still got me right here- *****points at heart***

**Chapter 14**

Paige and I walked into Café Arezzo to meet Spencer right on time. As usual she was early and had beaten us there. As we approached the table Spence stood up to give me a hug. The girl was impeccably dressed as always; a Hastings is expected to be no less. While Spencer never felt as though she quite fit in with her other family members she did however look the part. She's wearing skinny black ankle length pants, a white silk shirt and navy blazer. _She has to be hot in that_ I thought to myself. It's mid-June after all. As she wrapped me in the hug I could smell her signature scent: Prada.

Her slightly smoky voice filtered into my ear, "Em, I'm so glad you're here! We're going to have so much fun together, roomie!"

I laughed, happy in her excitement. "Hey, Spence! Great idea to meet for lunch today." I released myself from Spencer's grasp and pulled Paige forward. I motioned towards Paige next to me, "Spencer Hastings, Paige McCullers."

Spencer put on her best game face. I knew she'd do this. She always tries to be such a hard ass. She took a step closer to Paige and extended her right hand to shake Paige's. "So you're the one who high jacked Emily this past year. Hanna tells me she barely saw our dear friend here," she said, turning towards me to wink in my direction without Paige seeing her.

Paige closed the space between herself and Spencer and clenched her jaw. "High hacked might be a little strong," she replied.

_Ok, shits getting real. Spencer is trying to intimidate the wrong person._ "Ha, ha, Spence." I put my hand on Paige's arm and pulled her hand away from Spencer's grip. "She's just giving you a hard time, Paige. Isn't that right?" I said raising my eyebrows at Spencer.

Spencer tilted her head to the side with a little laugh. "I think we'll get along just fine, McCullers."

Paige clapped Spencer on the shoulder and moved to a seat at the table. "I never had any doubt, Hastings."

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Lunch with two of my favorite people was going very well. I never thought about how similar Paige and Spencer are. They are stubborn, intense yet paradoxically super sweet, witty and intelligent.

Spencer leaned across the table closer to me. "Emily, you'll never guess who I ran into the other day and he is living in Philadelphia now too…" I didn't say anything, giving her the prod to keep going. "Ben Thatcher."

Paige noticeably sat up a little bit taller hearing Ben's name. "Ben. Isn't that your boyfriend from high school?" she asked furrowing her brow.

I met her gaze. "Yes, that's-," I started before Spence cut me off.

"Oh, more than that. They were Rosewood's IT couple," Spencer emphasized. "Everyone pretty much assumed they would eventually get married. Emily practically broke the poor boy when she left for Penn."

I shot Spencer a glare. "I don't know that I'd go THAT far, Spencer."

"Well, anyway. He's in Philly now. You're in Philly now, which I told him. You're welcome." I was feeling anything but thankful about that. "You should have seen his face light up when I told him. He had a friend from Hollis with him, Toby. He's so hot, Emily. Anyway, Ben mentioned something about all of us hanging out sometime."

Paige cleared her throat uncomfortably. I suddenly felt hot all over and my palms were getting clammy. I wiped them on my jeans before I spoke. "I don't think so, Spencer; unless it's only as friends. I have no interest in getting back together with Ben."

"You can't be serious?" Spencer said with wide eyes. "You two were perfect together. And you haven't dated anyone seriously since then." Ugh, I hated that Paige had to hear that. It's true though, until now anyway.

"No, we weren't perfect and I am serious," I replied with a pointed look. "I'll help you get to know Toby, if that's what you want, but I won't be thrown together with Ben."

Spencer held her hands up in defeat. "Ok, I get it. But don't shoot the messenger. I don't think he's ever really gotten over you."

"Well, I'm sorry but that's something he will have to find a way to work through." I placed my hand on Paige's leg under the table and gave a light squeeze to reassure her that I have no interest in Ben.

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Paige and I spent the rest of the afternoon walking around the small town square going into shops and driving around the Chestnut Hill area. Paige showed me where she went to school, the dive bar she and her friends used to sneak into, the hill she went down too fast on her new bicycle resulting in her first stitches, then pointed out the scar above her eye from the stitches.

It was nice to spend the afternoon with her with no real agenda planned out. It made the afternoon fun and relaxed. I was grateful for that after the bomb Spencer dropped in my lap about Ben. I could tell it bothered Paige though she told me it didn't. I dropped the subject hoping that if she did want to talk to me about it she would come to me herself.

Time got away from us this afternoon and we had to rush to make our dinner reservation. We are finally getting the chance to have dinner together at Paige's favorite sushi restaurant without anyone else with us. I can't help but feel warmth spread through my body as I look across the table at the beautiful girl looking back at me with soulful milk chocolate brown eyes. If I look close enough I can see gold flecks show themselves near her irises. She looks so full of life. And I'm so glad she's been sharing that life with me. I pray it remains that way once she moves to Atlanta.

I decide now is as good a time as any to address the 20 ton elephant in the room. I wanted to reach for Paige's hand but I knew that doing so in public was a bad idea with neither one of us being out. "About the conversation we started last night…I think we should talk."

"Can't we pretend just a little longer?" Paige said to me, looking up under her long lashes.

"I wish we could, babe, believe me. Last night you asked me what's going to happen once you move and I told you I don't know." I took a deep breath and continued. "That's true, Paige. I have no idea what the future holds for us, I wish I did. This is uncharted water for me in more ways than one."

"I've thought about that a lot, Emily. Not only are you in your first relationship with another girl, but you'd now be forced to do it long distance." Paige used her chopsticks to play with the wasabi and ginger garnish on her platter. "That's a lot to handle. I understand if it's too much for you. You can just tell me you can't do this."

I smiled at her. "I appreciate your understanding. But that's not what I want to happen. I also admitted to you last night that from the first time I ever saw you I knew I wanted to be with you." Paige smiled at me for the first time since I started the conversation. "I meant that too. The distance worries me but it doesn't scare me and it certainly won't push me away. As for the other, you told me when we started this thing together that you will be here for me and I believe you." I licked my lips. "What do you want, Paige?"

"You," she said in a whisper. "I want you to be with you, Emily," Paige said in a stronger voice this time. "I want you so much and I'm so sorry I'm moving. If I could go back and take an offer in Philadelphia I would, but I can't back out now. I can't and I hope you understand that. I need to do this for me and I need to prove to my dad that I can succeed without him and his influence."

"Paige, babe, I understand. I would never ask you to give up this opportunity. If there is one of us who can be flexible it's me. I'm looking for jobs in Philadelphia, you know that, and if one comes up I need to take it. That said, I've thought about expanding my search." Here's the part I wasn't sure what kind of reaction I'd get from Paige. After all, we haven't been dating that long yet. I couldn't believe myself that I was serious about this. I've never been with anyone before who could have inspired me to do something like this for them…for us. "How, um, how would you feel, if I uh, if I started looking some in Atlanta too?

"Are you serious?!," Paige nearly shouted. People started looking towards her at the commotion. She brought her voice down and said again, "Are you serious? Please don't say something like that unless you're serious."

"I'm very serious, Paige. I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it. What do you think?"

"God, this is so great! I wanted to ask if you'd ever consider a job search in Atlanta, but I didn't want to bring it up for fear that you'd feel pressured." She shook her head and smiled brighter than I'd ever seen. "I'm so relieved right now."

I smiled back at her just as brightly. "I'm happy too, Paige. But I think we also need to be realistic. I'm still going to look in Philadelphia. I might have to take an offer for now but I won't stop searching in Atlanta." I hesitated a beat before I continued. "I care about you very much. We're going to have to both commit to doing long distance, at least until I can get down there. But I want to do whatever it takes, Paige. I want to give us a chance."

"I care about you too, Emily; so much. We can do it. I know we can. We are going to make this work." I believed her. I needed to believe we could work out because I need her.

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We got home from the restaurant pretty late. Mr. and Mrs. McCullers were already in bed so we didn't need to waste time sneaking around. I went straight to Paige's room for the night. After a good hour or so of intense make out sessions our kisses became slower and a little more relaxed.

Paige and I were wrapped around each other both tracing imaginary lines across the others exposed skin. "I've never seen ET all the way through," she said to me.

_That came out of nowhere._ "What?" I asked, confused by the randomness of this statement.

"I've never seen ET all the way through," she said again like it was no big deal. "Just a little Paige McCullers fun fact for you."

"You've never seen all of ET?" Paige shook her head in the darkness of the bedroom. "Why? It's a classic."

"It's scary."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Paige, ET is not scary. It's a kids' movie for goodness sakes."

Paige scoffed at that. "Who makes a kids movie about an alien! That's just not right."

"Ok, whatever you say." I patted her like a little kid on top of her head. "Is this why you won't eat Reese's Pieces?" I teased.

"Ok, forget Paige's fun facts. I never should have told you." I could tell by the tone of her voice that she was pouting. I should stop teasing her but I can't. She's too cute.

I rolled over and switched on the bedside lamp. Paige looked up to me. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Turning on the light," I answered. "I don't want you to get scared later about ET. Can't have you getting nightmares."

Paige rolled over in a huff and faced opposite me. I heard her mumble to herself. "Whatever. Beady-eyed alien pointing that long ass glowing finger in people's faces. That IS scary."

I laughed at her dramatics and turned the light back off. I curled up against her back and pulled her to me, kissing just below her ear. I whispered, "You are adorable." She let out a puff of air in contempt. "Ok, time for an Emily Fields fun fact."

"I'm listening…" Paige said.

"When I was in the first grade I knocked myself unconscious running in the dark back to my bedroom," I admitted.

"What?" she said, a little more interested in hearing my story now.

"One day a girl at my school told me a really scary story on the playground. It was about a little girl alone in her house one night in the dark and she kept seeing and hearing things. And something was after her. It freaked me the fuck out." Paige laughed as I continued.

"So that night I woke up and had to use the restroom. I held it for as long as I could but eventually had to run down the hall. Luckily there was a nightlight in the bathroom so I could see when I got there. Unfortunately, I wasn't as lucky on the way back to my bedroom. I heard a noise somewhere in the house so I sprinted to my room. Well, I misjudged the opening to the door and ran right into my doorframe. I slammed my head on the trim and knocked myself out."

Paige was shaking in my arms from laughter. "You did NOT really do that?!"

"I did," I said, nodding my head in confirmation. "My parents were scared to death when they heard and came running down the hall to see me sprawled out on the floor in my Hello Kitty nightgown," I shrugged my shoulders. "At least that's how they tell the story…All. The. Time. Don't be surprised if my dad brings it up when you meet him."

"You're such a scaredy-cat!" Paige said, rolling back over to face me.

I kissed her lips softly. "I guess that means you should hold me tighter to keep me safe."

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I felt like I was experiencing déjà vu. Just a little over two weeks ago Paige and I were in my apartment getting ready to leave each other. At least then we were comforted by the fact that we'd see each other in two weeks. Right now we don't know when we'll next see each other. I feel like I might throw up. Or cry. Or both.

I stayed in the guest room thinking things through for a while this morning to give Paige and her parents some privacy to say goodbye to each other. Mr. McCullers has since left for work and Clare left for a board meeting for one of the nonprofits she supports.

I don't want to keep Paige from getting on the road but I can't bear the thought of her leaving. I know I said we could make it work and so did Paige. I know we are both committed to this but damn it. Why her? Why now? Why when I finally find someone I connect with deeply they have to leave? It's gut wrenching. I can't watch her drive away so I've decided to head towards my new place before Paige leaves.

I've put this off long enough. We stand in the foyer saying goodbye. "You don't have to leave yet, Emily. I won't be ready to go for another half hour at least. Please, stay with me a little while longer, just until I need to go." Paige pleaded.

"I can't, Paige. I can't watch you leave me," my bottom lip started to quiver and I knew that I would start crying any moment. "Drive safe, ok?" I say as a tear makes it way down my cheek.

Paige hung her head and nodded. When she looked back up at me tears were tracking down her cheeks. "I miss you already," she choked out.

We are both sobbing at this point. I am literally shaking. I took a deep shuddering breath and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Me too, babe. I will miss you more than I could ever have words for." But this isn't goodbye; this isn't it for us, and I refuse to treat it as such so I push on. I kissed her softly. "But we'll plan something soon, ok? And we'll talk all the time."

Paige attempted a smile and wiped the tears from my face also. "I'll start feeling out jobs for you when I get settled. And I'll work on my sexy southern accent too."

I offered her a sloppy smile. "Call me when you get there. Let me know you're safe."

With that there were no more words to be said. Just tight hugs, a little more crying, and deep, heart-felt kisses. I poured everything I had into those final few moments in Paige's foyer.

I walked down the stone pathway to my car and didn't dare look back to the house. If I did I knew I would run back into Paige's arms and I'd never let her leave. Instead, I sat in my car for a moment and wiped the tears from my eyes. I steeled my emotions like I used to before a swim meet. I opened the car windows and put on one of my favorite songs. I pulled out of the drive way into a new challenge…or opportunity if you want to look at it that way.

Now begins the next phase of my relationship with Paige: long distance.

**One more note: I have major plots points already pretty well lined out as far as where I would like to take the story. However, the in-between is pretty well wide open. If there is something you'd like to see happen let me know. I just might throw it in here.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Finally…back at it. I love Christmas like most people but what I don't love is being allergic to Christmas trees. Yep, that's a thing. This year every party and get together had a real tree in their home or business or real garland. Not fun. Couple that with the flu and...well, worst Christmas ever.**

**Enough of that nonsense. I can now put coherent sentences together so here I am writing a little chapter update. Trying to get some writing mojo back. This chapter may be a little, um, not my best but I'll get the hang of it again.**

**Happy New Year y'all. Thanks for sticking with me on this Paily journey. I cannot believe there are over 80 of you fine folks following this story. I hope that number continues to grow! That and reviews are strong motivators.**

**Chapter 15**

I'm going through the motions. That's what you do when you're feeling a little down, right? You pick your feet up one by one and carry forward because there really is no other option. But life around you seems stood still. You don't notice the movement of other people. You partially zone out of conversations; paying just enough attention to not make it glaringly obvious that you've checked out. Smiles happen but they don't light up your face. No, because the person who usually caused them, as of late anyway, is 800 miles away.

To be perfectly honest I don't like this feeling. This is foreign to me. I am alarmed by how much my contentment is aligned with being near Paige. I knew the distance would be hard but we're only three days in and I hate it. This is just an adjustment period I tell myself. Once I get used to this new normal with Paige everything will even out and I'll be back to myself again.

Unfortunately, I don't have anyone to talk to about this. No one knows about my relationship with Paige. They think we are very close friends, not girlfriends. Spencer has noticed my mood change since Paige left. It doesn't surprise me. We've known each other nearly all our lives.

I'm sitting on the chaise near the large window in the great room with my laptop looking for a job. Actually, right this moment I'm staring outside as pedestrians walk along the street below. I cannot seem to concentrate on much of anything.

Spencer broke me from my trance. "Em, you've been like a lost puppy since Paige left. I know you miss your friend, but you need to snap out of this."

I think about what Spencer said for a second. She's right it is time to buck up. I've given this a little thought and I don't think my sour outlook is solely to do with Paige. I do miss her, greatly, but this is more than that and yet part of it all rolled in to one. I have no idea what to do to move forward. I need to find a job. This limbo is not good for me.

I look over to where Spencer is standing in the open plan kitchen. "I know you're right, Spence. It's not just that I miss Paige. I'm getting frustrated and upset that I can't seem to find a job that I'm interested in or qualified for. My friends are moving forward and I'm standing still."

"Uh huh," Spencer said, and turned back to making her coffee.

"What? Just say it." I could tell she was holding back. She remained silent so I continued. "It's not like I'm not being realistic Spencer. I don't expect to bebop into a company and immediately become the next VP."

"Opportunities don't happen, you create them," Spencer said cryptically. I just stared back at her. "You want me to keep going? Ok. It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves."

"Oh thank you wise one," I said back, bowing at her. "What the hell are you getting at, Spence?" I said as I straightened back up.

Spencer laughed and continued. "Ok, I'm quoting Chris Grosser and Sir Edmund Hillary to illustrate my point." Spencer turned towards my direction to give me her full attention now. "What I'm trying to say is get out there," she pointed to the window, "and go get it. You're not going to get what you want sitting here all day. Go out; get to know your new city and what opportunities are meant to be snatched up. Meet people. Network. Get over yourself and do something."

If someone else had just said any of this to me I'd be in their face putting them back in their place. Here's what you need to know about Spencer though, everything she just said to me was done so out of love. She would never intentionally be hurtful; harsh maybe when she felt it was necessary, but hurtful no.

"You're right again, maybe a little intense, but you're right. Thanks for the ass kicking. Now, what do I do about it?" I ask, hoping she can point me in the right direction.

"Well for starters come have lunch today with me, Toby and Ben." I raised my eyebrows at her. "It will be good for you, Emily."

"Why do I feel like I walked right into this?"

"They are both going to be near UPENN today and Ben thought it would be nice if we could all meet up for lunch after my class." I started to open my mouth to speak but she held her hand up to silence me. "Now before you get angry I told him I'd have to check with you but that I didn't think you'd be able to make it. I really do think you should though, Emily. It doesn't have anything to do with Ben being there. I just think it will do you good."

I rolled my eyes and sighed knowing that she's probably right. "Fine, what time and where?"

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Spencer, Toby and Ben were already seated at a table when I walked in. As I made my way to the table I caught Ben's eyes. He smiled warmly at me and stood, as did Toby when he realized I was approaching them. The greeting with Ben was a little awkward. I was simply going to say hi and take a seat. Instead, he wrapped me in a deep hug so I had no choice but to hug him back. I shook Toby's hand and introduced myself.

What started as an awkward greeting with Ben transitioned into an easy catch up session. He and I were such good friends before we started dating that it seemed going back to that would not be difficult after all. It has been over four years since we last kept in contact and ended our relationship; it's water under the bridge at this point.

While Ben and I were catching up Spencer and Toby seemed to be in a nice conversation. They were getting along very well. Toby is from Philadelphia and decided to return back here after graduation from Hollis. I found out that Toby and Ben met each other sophomore year in some of their shared classes. Both graduated with architectural design degrees. Toby was on campus today getting the feel for a new design on campus. The company he works for was hired on a new project for UPENN. "So you'll be spending quite a bit of time on campus then, will you Toby?" I asked.

"Yes, I will be on campus a lot. A few of us will have an onsite office at UPENN for the several months or so of the project," Toby said with a smile.

I looked to Spencer. "That's nice, right, Spence?" She blushed at my comment. Serves her right for this morning's lecture.

Toby looked back and forth between she and I then landed his gaze on me. "So I know that Spencer is in law school. What about you, what is that you do, Emily?"

"Nothing at the moment," I answered, looking at him with a sheepish smile. "I graduated with a sports marketing degree from Penn State. I'm in the process of job searching."

He considered for a moment then asked. "What is it then that you want to do? I imagine you could get into a lot of things with that kind of degree."

"You're right. I can. That's one reason why I chose this path," I said, nodding my head at him. "My minor is journalism so I could actually get into that also. What I envision myself doing is talent management, event marketing or public relations."

"I don't know if you'd be interested, Emily, and you can tell me if you're not, but my dad is very good friends with the Executive Vice President of Marketing and Communications for the NFL," Toby said. This immediately got my attention. "If you want, I could say something to him, maybe connect you two together."

"Are you serious!?" I shouted. "Yes, that would be great!"

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Lunch with Toby, Ben and Spencer was wonderful. My mood has drastically changed for the better since then; especially at the prospect of Toby possibly being able to put me in contact with the NFL. How great would it be to work there!

I'm practically buzzing with energy right now. Paige has been so busy since she arrived in Atlanta that we haven't had a whole lot of time to talk. We've had a few moments here and there but nothing substantial. That's why I'm so excited for our Skype chat.

I'm sitting at the bar in the kitchen waiting for Paige to answer. Spencer has a night class so I have the place to myself for a few hours.

Paige's face shows up on the screen and we say hi excitedly at the same time with big grins on our faces. "It's so good to see you!" I gush.

Paige leaned in closer to her computer screen. "It's so good to see you to, Em! Man, I've really missed you the last several days. I can't believe it's only been three days since I left."

"Have you been working on your sexy southern accent? Cause I don't hear it yet," I tease.

"I'm getting there," she replies, laughing. "Hey, actually, did you know it's bad to say 'bless your heart' down here?"

"What? Why? That's nice." I say, somewhat surprised.

"No, that's the thing. It's not nice. I had lunch with Michael today and he set me straight. I heard people saying it so I told the waitress 'bless your heart' when she sat down my food and she just stared at me and rushed off." I laughed at the image I was seeing in my mind. "I asked Michael what he thought her problem was and he said I insulted the poor girl. I guess down here saying bless your heart is like, 'I'm southern so I'm trying to be charming all while telling you I basically think you're an idiot.'"

I was laughing so hard at that. "Oh my God, Paige. Of course that would happen to you."

"Yeah, so I apologized when the waitress came back. She was pretty gracious about it. She said she could tell from my accent, she said I have an accent- can you believe that?," Paige said with wide eyes. "Anyway, she said she could tell I wasn't from around here and that I'll learn soon enough."

"Is Michael your boss?" I asked Paige.

"No, Michael is the owner of the company. You know, the guy who is good friends with my dad," Paige clarified. "He wanted to catch up before I start work there and I'm considered one of his employees. I talked over some of my concerns with him. He said he thinks I'm very talented and will get no special treatment. In fact, I don't plan to tell any of my new co-workers how close mine and his families are together."

"That's probably a good idea. At least at first anyway. Let them get to know you outside of that influence," I said. "But not too well," I added with a wink.

"I'm sorry we haven't had much of a chance to talk the past several days. I didn't realize how busy I would be trying to get settled this week," Paige said, with a cute little pout. "What have you been up to so far this week?"

"Well, I've been getting settled also in the townhouse. And job searching of course." I am going to tell her who I had lunch with today and hope it doesn't bother her. I don't want to hide it from her. "And I had lunch today with Spencer, Toby and Ben," I rushed out.

"Oh? So Spencer made that happen then," was her response.

"Yeah, it was nice to catch up."

"I bet it was," Paige said, pulling a face.

"It bothers you that I saw my ex-boyfriend doesn't it, Paige?" I ask hoping she'll tell me if it does.

"Who says it bothers me?"

"Uh, you're face. I can see you, remember?"

Paige looked at the screen remembering that yes, I can see her too. "Right. Ok, I guess it bothers me some, but it's ok, really. I do understand and I trust you."

I nodded my head. "Toby said his dad is good friends with the EVP of Marketing and Communications for the NFL. He's going to see if he can get me a meeting. Isn't that great?"

"Wow, that is great! I hope something pans out with that. That would be so cool!"

"It's just a meeting, and maybe not even that, but I am thinking positively about it." I stare at the screen trying to look deeply into Paige's eyes. "I mean, I know it wouldn't be in Atlanta-"

Paige cuts me off. "Em, that's ok. It's great news for you. I really do hope something comes out of it. We'll figure the rest out."

"Where are you right now?" I ask, taking in Paige's surroundings.

"I'm lying on top of my bed."

"Oh, that's perfect! I'll go get in my bed too." I ran into my bedroom and pulled back the covers. "Now we can talk to each other in bed."

That's exactly what we ended up doing the rest of the night. Once we were both barely keeping our eyes open and mumbling through conversations we ended the Skype session. I fell asleep that night thinking of how happy I was to have gotten to not only talk to Paige but see her too. Maybe long distance won't be as difficult as I perceived it to be. Things are certainly looking up.


	16. Chapter 16

**It's about time for Emily and Paige to arrange a visit. Don't you think…**

**Chapter 16**

It's been two weeks since my lunch with Toby, Spencer and Ben. Toby came through on the meeting with the EVP of Marketing and Communications for the NFL. I can't believe it. Even if nothing comes out of this meeting I have made a very good contact. It's important that I impress him either way.

The offices of the NFL are in New York City so I took the train in early this morning. I'm walking along Park Avenue and come to my destination: NFL headquarters. The building is huge. I allow myself a brief awestruck moment as my gaze travels up the tall steel and glass building. The building alone is enough to intimidate me and I haven't even been inside yet.

I walk inside and I'm a little surprised by what I see. I'm not sure what I was expecting but I know this isn't it. The interior is very sleek and modern. The lobby is spacious with sharp lines and abundant light filtering through the wall of windows. I put on my professional face and walk up to the receptionist desk. The red-headed, petite women smiles at me and I introduce myself. "Hello, I'm Emily Fields. I have a 3:00 appointment with Mr. William Donaldson."

The woman nodded her head and picked up the phone to call Mr. Donaldson I assume. She placed the receiver back down and addressed me directly. "Mr. Donaldson's assistant, Rebecca, will be down shortly to get you. Would you like anything while you wait? Tea? Water? Coffee?"

I smile at her, gracious for the offer. "No, thank you."

Fortunately I did not have long to wait. Rebecca came to get me within a few minutes and we took the elevator to the 12th floor. We made small talk along the way. I was grateful for the distraction as my nerves seem to climb along with our ascent to the 12th floor.

I entered Mr. Donaldson's office to find him sitting at a large, highly polished cherry wood desk. There are team and NFL logos throughout the room and one wall is nothing but large, flat screen televisions. Another wall is made up of nothing but glass windows. I can only imagine how spectacular his view must be.

Mr. Donaldson stood as I entered the room and walked towards me with his arm extended for a handshake. "Emily, hi, please come in."

"Hello, Mr. Donaldson, it's a pleasure to meet you," I say, returning his firm grip.

"Please, call me William. And the pleasure is mine. It's nice to meet one of Toby's friends. I've known that boy since he was young."

I smile at that. Toby really is a great guy. I can understand why his dad's friend is so fond of him. "Thank for you taking time out of your busy schedule to meet with me."

We got settled at the seating area near the wall of TV's. William pressed a button on a large remote which made all of the TV's turn off simultaneously. "So I understand you are looking for a job in marketing and communications," he started.

"I am looking for a career," I clarified, "in marketing and communications, yes. I'd like to discuss that with you." Why not be direct, right? From there the discussion took off. I felt it was going really well.

As we wrapped up the meeting William asked, "You are living in Philadelphia now, correct?"

"Yes, that is correct. I moved there not long after graduating from Penn. Have you been?" I asked. I learned early on that making personal relationships and connections with people I speak with serves me well.

"I have. It's a great city. Lots of history which is a passion of mine, I must admit."

And there we go; common ground. "I couldn't agree more. Philadelphia is a great place for history buffs like you and me." He seemed to appreciate my response with a nod of his head.

"Would you consider moving from there? If the right job came along that is," William stated. "It's something to consider you know. Our offices are here in New York though there are opportunities within the NFL all over the country. Or travel. Many positions involve what could amount to quite a bit of travel."

"Yes, I understand that, and it is something I have considered. I would be willing to move if the position is right and if the city is right. Something I won't do, however, is settle. If I don't feel I'd be happy or successful then I wouldn't do that to myself or my possible employer. And I enjoy traveling. I understand doing so for business isn't the same as leisure, but travel is something I am very comfortable with."

The meeting concluded shortly after and I think it went very well. William told me he would stay in touch and I believe he will.

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I was feeling a bit down a few nights ago about the distance between Paige and me. This seems to wash over me in peaks and valleys. I decided a talk with my mom would cheer me up. As much as we butt heads sometimes she is one of my greatest cheerleaders and sources of support. Though I certainly won't be talking to her directly about Paige, talking to her in general will help regardless.

Paige and I have talked on the phone at least every other day since our last Skype date two weeks ago. It's great that technology affords us the opportunity to stay in as good of contact as we do. It's nothing like what couples my parent's age went through when they dealt with long distance.

During my call with mom I brought up how great I think her and dad's relationship is. I was steering the conversation in the direction of what it was like when they first started dating and dad was in boot camp and then assigned to a base across the country from her. She said they wrote to each other a lot. Back then it wasn't as easy or economical to pick up the phone and have a conversation and they didn't have cell phones to text back and forth. She said she still has all of the cards and letters dad sent her through the years. One of her favorite things to do when she is missing him or just feeling nostalgic is to read through them all. In the moment she says they really help to bridge the distance between each other. It sounded very romantic.

I decided that night to run to a Hallmark store close by and get a card for Paige. After searching for a few minutes I found the perfect card and rushed home to write my heart out.

_**Paige,**_

_**I found this card and thought it was perfect for you, or us, to be more exact. It talks of distance making the heart grow fonder. It has, for me anyway. It has made me realize how much you really do mean to me. So I wanted to send you a little something to let you know that I'm thinking of you, as I often do, and miss you very much. I want you to know that you are very important to me. I feel lucky each and every day to have you in my life. I hope that we continue to build on the relationship we have and see how we grow together.**_

_**I will talk to you soon. Hugs and kisses,**_

_**Emily**_

With that, I set the card near my purse to mail the next day. Paige should have received it by the time we have our Skype date on Thursday night.

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I missed a call this morning while I was on my run through the inviting streets of Society Hill. The run this morning was a few miles longer than usual because I have some energy to burn. I always get like this on days I know I'll see Paige…on my computer screen anyway. Tonight is our Skype date.

The missed call was from an unknown number from a 212 area code which I knew was New York City. I also have a voicemail alert so I eagerly checked it. The message was from William Donaldson from the NFL and he asked me to call him back at my earliest convenience. This immediately piqued my interest. What could he want? Does he know of a job prospect? Is he calling to offer me a job? Jeez, that would be phenomenal. But I try not to get ahead of myself until I've spoken to him directly.

I dialed William's direct line and waited for it to connect. When it did Rebecca answered. I told her who I was and that I was returning William's call. She said he was expecting me and put the call through. The conversation that took place next thrilled me, scared me and left me speechless.

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I was literally bouncing when Paige appeared on my computer screen. My smile was wide and plastered across my face. "Hi, babe!" I shouted at the screen.

Paige leaned back as my voice boomed through her speakers. "Hi, Em. I've missed you too." She laughed and the sound filled my heart with joy.

We looked at each other just soaking in the sight for a beat then Paige continued. "I loved the card. Thanks so much for sending it. I think I've read it at least 50 times in the past day."

"I meant every word, Paige. You mean so much to me, distance be damned."

"So catch me up, honey. What's going on in Philadelphia?" Paige asked.

This is the perfect time to tell her about my call with William. "You know William Donaldson, who I told you I met with from the NFL?" She nodded her head so I continued. "Well, he called me today."

"And…"

"And he offered me a job!" I said enthusiastically.

Paige's face lit up. "That's great, Emily! Wow, the NFL. Look at you big shot! So what is the job?"

"I'll be a PR rep for the NFL working between the media and the teams and players in the NFC division." That's a mouthful now that I've said it out loud.

"Do you have to move to New York?" Paige asked, with a slight wrinkle in her brow.

"That's the best part. No, I get to work from here in Philadelphia. I'll be traveling quite a bit so I negotiated working from a home office. And New York City is such an easy train ride from here that it works out just fine."

"I'm really happy for you, Emily. It sounds like a great opportunity." Paige said, and I could tell she really was happy for me.

"Thanks. And you know, Atlanta plays in the NFC so…I'll get to travel down there some for work."

"Oh thank God. I miss you," Paige said, as the wrinkle between her brows came back.

"About that, I don't start for another month. I was thinking maybe I could come down there in a few weeks. I could spend a week with you before I start my new job. What do you think?" I asked, biting my bottom lip.

"What do I think?! Hell yes! Book it! Book it now."

I laughed in relief. "I'll look up flights later tonight. I can't wait to see you. Two weeks, babe. I hope you and Atlanta are ready for me."

"Oh we'll be ready alright," Paige said with a gleam in her eye.

**A/N: I have a confession to make which I'm sure is obvious. I totally made up the stuff about the NFL. I have no idea if those kinds of positions exist but they do for the purposes of this story. So now Emily gets to work for the NFL which helps my story progress for future plans. Get ready for Paily QT next chapter!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Just watched the 5B season premiere. Can't talk about it. Not gonna talk about it. Don't want to say anything for those who haven't seen it yet. But if you have…you know…you get where my Paily headspace is right now…**

**100 followers is within reach. This makes me happy folks, really. I'll admit that I'm pleasantly surprised, and I'll continue to be pleasantly surprised if this little story actually reaches 100. And I'll just let you know that there is still quite a bit more to go and a coming out on the horizon. Anyway, thanks for taking time out of your day to read what I spout out.**

**I don't know…I like this chapter. Maybe you will as well. It's fun. I had no idea what I was going to write when I started typing and below is the result of that…..**

**Chapter 17**

"Hurry….hurry up….come on….open the damn door," I mumbled to myself. The pilot stopped the plane a few minutes ago and the landing team is connecting the sky bridge to the main cabin door. I am impatient and I want to see my girlfriend. I texted Paige as soon as we landed that my plane was here. Now all I want to do is run to her. If only they'd let us off this plane.

A hand suddenly gripped my bouncing knee. I looked up from the hand on my knee to see the cloudy, blue-gray eyes of the older woman sitting next to me. She had been asleep for most of the flight so this is the first contact I've had with her. "Darlin', you're jumpier than a long-tailed cat in a room fulla rockin' chairs," she said in a smooth southern drawl.

I couldn't help but love her instantly. I could tell she was as feisty as my own grandmother. I smiled at her and stopped my bouncing knee. "Sorry, I'm anxious to see my g-" I stop, not sure how the older woman would react if I said I was meeting my girlfriend. "g-good friend from college." I said finally.

"Oh, that's nice. I imagine we'll get off the plane soon enough. We will if they know what's good for em' anyway." She pointed to me, "You're in a hurry;" then she pointed to herself, "I've drank a whole bottle of water with no bathroom break. Trust me, they'll let us off soon if I have anything to say about it," she said, squeezing my knee.

I laughed with this funny old lady. "Where are you headed? Is Atlanta home?" I asked to pass the final few minutes while we wait.

"No, it's just my layover," she sighed and laid her head back. "I've got another jump over to Savannah. I'm from a little town just between there and Hilton Head. Gotta travel all damn day just cause' I can't get a direct flight from that little airport at my daughter's place up north. I can't figure how these airlines arrange this mumbo jumbo," she said waving her hand in the air. "I flew from Philadelphia, to Atlanta, and next to Savannah. Now how do you figure that's the best route to take?"

I furrowed my brow as she spoke. "That does sound ridiculous. Is it always like this?"

"No, I usually only have one stop, which is bad enough but it's sure as hell better than this. I booked this trip late notice so there you have it."

"You're making my two hour flight seem drastically underachieving," I tease. I do mean it though. She has to travel nearly all day to see her loved ones. I've only got a two hour flight to see Paige. That's cake compared to her. Sometimes we gain perspective in the strangest of ways. "I'm Emily, by the way. It's nice to meet you."

"I'm Blanche-"

"Like the Golden Girls?" I cut her off excitedly. "I love that show!"

She looked at me in surprise. "That show was on before you were knee high to a duck."

"I watch reruns with my grandma," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "She's my family's version of Sophia." It's true. Gram looks nothing like the Sophia on the show but what she lacked in physical resemblance she made up for with the same wit and personality in spades.

"You and she must get along very well then. I imagine you keep your granny on her toes," Blanche said back with an easy smile. I nodded in agreement.

Just then the door to the sky bridge opened and the pilot announced that we were now permitted to deplane. I helped Blanche get her luggage from the overhead bin and walked with her through the walkway. I gave her a big hug as our paths lead us in opposite directions and wished her a safe journey home.

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You know how in some romantic comedies the starring couple catches eyes in a sea of people trudging along through an airport or crowded street? Their eyes meet, time stands still, and they run towards each other- bumping into strangers, tripping over luggage, jumping over seats- then they crash into each other while an amazingly appropriate song narrates the scene.

This is what I saw play out in my head as I walked outside and the crowd of people in front of me thinned out. There, leaning against her 4Runner, was the beautiful Paige McCullers. Seeing her on a computer screen does nothing to compare to seeing her in real life, even at a distance. She was giving me that adorable crooked grin that has made my heart pitter patter since the first day I saw her. As soon as our eyes met the song that cued up in my head was At Last by Etta James. It's cheesy, I know.

At last, after over a month apart we are reunited. My body cannot get to her fast enough. I sway towards her never breaking eye contact. Her smile grows the closer I get and I can feel my own smile light up my face. As I close the distance between us she turns to reach through the window for something in the passenger seat. Once she straightens up I see a gorgeous bouquet of flowers.

Paige hands over the bouquet as I step up to her. "Hi, Emily. I'm so glad you're here. Welcome to Atlanta." She seems a little bashful which I find interesting and surprising.

I take the bouquet from her and wrap both of my arms around her in a tight hug. I whisper into her ear, "I'm so happy to see you, babe." She squeezes me to her tighter. I can tell by the look in Paige's eyes that she wants to kiss me but isn't sure what to do with all of these people around. I want to kiss her too and to be honest; I could care less about anyone other than this wonderful girl standing with me right now. No one knows me here and if they did I'm not sure that I'd care either way at this very moment. I lean back in the embrace and crash our lips together in a searing kiss.

We pull apart reluctantly. "Come on, let's get going before we give even more of a show in this standby area," Paige says, as she takes my luggage and places it in the back of the SUV. She opened the passenger side door for me and once she got settled we were outta there.

Paige reached for my hand and brought it to her lips for a soft kiss. "Are you even real right now?" she asked as she shook her head. "It's a dream come true that you're here."

I reach across the console with my unoccupied hand and gently pinch her right thigh. She whined in protest. "Yep, you're real. I'm real. This is happening."

Paige laughed. Her laugh is something I could never get tired of hearing. "Are you hungry?" she asked. "I thought maybe we could drive back and grab something to eat."

"I'm starving," I answered. "I don't know why but travelling always makes me so hungry."

"Ok. We've got around a 45 minute drive from the airport to my side of town. We can stop by this cute little café I think you'll like in historic Roswell."

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Historic Roswell, GA is adorable. It is everything I imagined it to be. The town square is incredibly clean, expertly maintained, and post card perfect. Brick pavers allow visitors to meander along the rose bushes, freshly clipped lawns and fragrant flowers. In the middle, a large fountain encourages kids and adults to toss coins and make a wish. A placard near the fountain notes that the change is used as a donation to the historical society.

Outlining the square are antique shops, bustling boutiques, eclectic cafes, a tourism office and much more. Paige leads me up a walkway towards a large, converted Victorian style house. The sign out front boasts a large pickle. I understand why as I read the ornate wooden café sign: _The Fickle Pickle: Southern Deli & Café._

The café must be very well known and liked. At 3:00 in the afternoon it's still hopping from the lunch crowd. We place our order at the counter and walk through the back door to sit on the back patio. We choose a covered table near the back of the patio where we'll have a little more privacy.

"Why did you choose to live in Roswell?" I asked Paige. "Isn't your office in downtown Atlanta?"

"I'm a city girl, you know, coming from Philadelphia, but I don't want to live in the heart of the city. That's not how I grew up and it's an environment I'm not altogether comfortable in." I nodded my head in understanding and she continued. "Here I'm close enough to be near the city life but not in the middle of it. It's only about a 25 minute drive to my office. And I mean, you've seen it around here, it's adorable."

"It is that for sure. The town square reminds me a little of Rosewood," I say while looking around the surrounding area. "What is there to do around here?"

"You'll find out soon enough, Miss Fields. I do have you for a whole week, you know?" Paige said with a wink. "I also really like it here because there is a lot to do outdoors. I can kayak on the Chattahoochee River. There's a great trail system here so you can go hiking and cycling. I've not found a single thing I don't like about Roswell." She placed her hand on mine across the table and looked around. "Actually, there is one thing lacking. You're not here."

I placed my hand on top of Paige's. "No, but I'm here now. I can't wait to spend the week with you."

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It was nice to relax with Paige for a while in her new element. Lunch was fantastic. I had a Brie BLT Panini that was so good you'd swear there was magic dust in the seasoning. We decided to head back to Paige's townhouse so I could rest up after my day of travel. I had an early morning getting to the airport. I was anxious to get to Paige's townhouse for some quality time.

Paige opened the front door to let me enter first as she brought my bags in. Shutting the door she glanced my way. "We can take your things to the bedroom and you can rest up some if you'd like. Are you tired?" she asked.

No, I was not tired at all. Maybe I was earlier but not now that I'm standing alone with Paige in the middle of her foyer. My body was running on adrenaline from being near Paige and it craved a dose of her electrifying touch. I pushed her into the door and felt a puff of air escape her lungs as her breath tickled my cheek. I bent my head to trail sensual kisses up her neck. Reaching her ear, I pulled on her earlobe with my teeth and growled out, "Not even a little bit. Now's where's this bedroom of yours?"

**A/N: I didn't know I was going to do it until I typed it, but yep, slipped a Golden Girls reference in there. Cause why not? And if you don't know the greatness that is the Golden Girls, well…that's what YouTube is for.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

_Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. I can't breathe._ _I hate this_. I should be chanting a calming mantra to myself. Instead all I can feel is slight panic quickly progressing to extreme panic. My grip on Paige's arm must feel like a python squeezing its prey.

I can feel Paige's eyes on me though I can't see them. I'm looking straight at the floor and don't dare look up. She nudges my shoulder, "Emily, are you OK?" I just barely nod my head yes. "You don't look OK. Seriously, you're pale and starting to sweat. Not to mention my arm is losing circulation."

I dart my eyes in her direction and offer a faint smile. Then I immediately look back down to the floor. "Mmmhmm, totally fine." I curse my shaky voice for betraying my words.

Paige lifts my chin so I can look her in the eyes. "Emily, look at me, honey." She smiles sweetly at me. "Are you afraid of heights?"

"No! Of course not!"

"Then why haven't you looked out of the windows since we got on the sky lift? And I'll never be able to use my arm again." She pries my fingers off of her arm one by one and shakes out her numb limb.

I sigh deeply and fess up. "Fine, OK. I'm scared of heights. Happy?"

"Of course not. I would prefer we spend time together without you being an emotional wreck." Paige reached for my hand to try to calm me down. "We didn't have to ride the sky lift up."

We're in Stone Mountain Park riding the Summit Skylift to the top the Confederate Memorial Carving. The carving is set in a large mountain in the middle of the park. Visitors can ride this deathtrap called a sky lift to the top of the mountain….over 800 feet above ground. They say from the top you can see the buildings of Atlanta's downtown, the Appalachian Mountain's and over 60 miles away. "You said you wanted to go to the top," I respond tersely. I can't help it.

"I do but not at the cost of your sanity. Why didn't you tell me you were afraid of heights? You told me you wanted to go up too," Paige rationalizes.

"I know, and I do, but there are so many people on here." I point to a bratty little kid a few feet from me. "And that jerky little boy won't stop jumping up and down. And his parents haven't said a word to him," I whisper/shout. "And it's so high up. How often do you think they inspect these tin cans? And did you see those cables we are jerking along? I wonder how old they are."

"Emily, sweetie, take a deep breath. It's going to be just fine." She turned my head to face out the widow next to her. "See, we're almost up."

That was the absolute WRONG thing to do to me at that moment. I looked down at the ground below and almost threw up. "Don't do that!" I shouted.

Paige looked at me sheepishly. "Sorry. I guess we should have hiked the trail up."

I punched her in the arm; a little harder than I meant to. "You mean to tell me we could have walked up this mountain?! On the ground! Not hurtling along a tattered cable in a rusty old metal box!" I know I'm exaggerating; the lift looks perfectly safe, but now is not the time for being rational.

"You didn't tell me about the heights thing! Honey, you need to calm down a bit. The cables are just fine. The sky lift is in excellent condition. They take very good of everything."

Just then the sky lift abruptly stops and jerks me to the side, slightly bumping into Paige. I grab her arm in my python grip again. "What was that?" I screech.

"We're here," Paige says, while pointing to the exit door. It's then that I notice people heading through the door. We are finally to the top. I push past the jumping boy and walk out of the sky lift on shaky legs. It takes everything I have not to fall to the ground in a wobbly heap. I'd hug the ground if I could.

I take a deep breath of fresh air and start to walk around the large mountain top. It's huge. The surface is relatively flat but jagged in areas. The top is mostly made up of rock with trees and brush scattered about. "Wow," I say as I take in the sights.

"It's beautiful," Paige says as she walks up behind me.

"Yeah, it is." I turn and point to my right leading Paige to look in the same direction. "Look, there's downtown Atlanta." The mass of skyscrapers looms in the distance. A green sea of tree tops creates the gap between us and them. At this time of the day a haze has settled on the horizon and I'm sure we aren't seeing the 60 miles that is reported.

After walking around the top a bit more, looking at the view from every accessible vantage point, we find a spot on the rock and lie down. The warmth from the July sun feels good on my skin. There is a good breeze up here which helps to ward off the stifling heat we would feel on the ground below.

Our conversation is light and enjoyable. Paige tells me about some of her coworkers and what she has been working on. It's a Saturday afternoon and the top of the mountain has been fairly busy since we've been up here. Kids run around and chase each other, hopping over rifts and cracks in the surface. Parents run around after their kids cautioning them to be careful. Couples stand arm in arm taking in the sights. Twin toddlers stand with their dad at the observation telescopes mounted to the rocky surface and reach to peer through. It's been a wonderful day.

"Are you glad you came up here now?" Paige asks me.

"I admit it. This is a great way to spend my first full day here in Atlanta with you."

"And we have a full week ahead of us."

"I can't wait," I say excitedly.

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Paige stands and brushes the dust off her clothes. "We should probably head back down the mountain. You ready to go?" she asks.

I look towards the sky lift and shake my head. "I think I'll just stay up here for the week. The plane can pick me up from here."

Paige laughs at my hesitation. "How is it that you're totally fine now being over 800 feet above the ground but you were practically hyperventilating on the sky lift up here?"

I shrug my shoulders. "As long as I don't walk to the very edge and look down I'm fine; I'm on solid ground. Being suspended like that…I think I underestimated how terrifying that would be."

Paige points at the family walking toward the trail heading back down the mountain. "How about we take the trail back down?"

"Yes," I sigh in relief.

There is a snack shop on top for visitors that Paige points to. "I'll go get us a few bottles of water then we'll make our way down."

Paige joins me after buying the water and we follow the trail down the mountain. There is a painted yellow line that leads hikers up and down the trail. "I feel a bit like Dorothy following the yellow brick road to Oz," I comment as we descend the mountain.

"Except you'd be the Cowardly Lion," Paige teases. I shoot her a glare. "What? I think it's cute. You were a scared mess on the way up here."

"Ok. Then you'd be the Tin Man with no heart," I say smugly back at her. Paige pouts at my remark. "That's what you get for making fun of me."

Suddenly Paige reaches for my hand and pulls me to her. As my body presses against her she takes my hand and places it over her chest. "Actually, someone stole my heart. I met this girl my senior year of college. Beautiful girl, inside and out. The only time I get my heart back is when she's near me." She presses her hand over mine that is still resting against her chest. "It beats stronger and faster the closer she gets. Feel that?"

I'm half tempted to laugh until I look into Paige's intense brown eyes. She's being serious. Feeling Paige's heart beat under my palm, I'm swept away by the sudden romantic turn. This girl knows what she's doing. She's taken our playful banter and turned it into a moment with heat simmering just below the surface. I'm caught off guard by it. All I can do is look at her and nod my head. Sure I feel her heart; it beats in time with my own.

Paige never breaks eye contact with me. "Sometimes when she looks at me, much like you are doing now, it skips a beat. You would think this a bad thing. But no, it makes me feel alive. You see, I need this girl." Paige then brushes a strand of hair out of my face and tucks it behind my ear. "I wonder now how my heart was ever able to beat without her."

I have no words for this. Nothing can compare to what she just told me. I may have considered these nothing but cheesy come-on lines if not for the beautiful girl standing in front of me now. The thing is I know she means it. Paige is the most amazing person I have ever met. I feel so much love coming from her. I understand the meaning behind her words. And I have so much love to give her in return. Wait, love? Am I in love with Paige? Is she in love with me? That doesn't matter right now. What does matter is the fact that I need to kiss her breathless.

I bunch Paige's shirt in the palm that rests on her chest and I pull her to me. My other arm wraps around Paige's back as I melt our lips together. Paige's hair is in a pony tail. I wrap her hair around my hand and pull back exposing her neck and giving me easy access. Her skin tastes slightly salty from the mild exertion of the hike down the mountain. Paige moans and I can feel the vibration in her neck on my lips.

I shuffle Paige backwards until her back bumps against a tree. Her hands have made their way under my shirt and are running up and down my back. Her fingers knead into the muscles there as our kisses increase in intensity.

A sound up the trail from us catches our attention and we can hear a family, with young excited children, making their way towards us. Paige and I pull apart and straighten out our clothes as the family of four walks around a bend in the path. We offer each other a quick smile and nod in greeting as they make their way past us.

"You may not have been working on your accent, Paige McCullers, but you are certainly working on your charm," I say, giving her a sultry sweet smile. Her reply is a quick wink in my direction as she pulls me back down the trail.

We exited the trail head and made our way to the parking lot. "So what do you want to do now?" Paige asked.

"I'm actually kind of tired. I think I'm crashing from that adrenaline rush of the sky lift. What would you say to carry-out and a movie?"

"I say that sounds great. I can pick a movie when we get back to my place."

"No you can't," I state matter of factly. "It's my turn to pick a movie."

"That's where you're wrong, Em. It's my turn."

I stop at the entry to the parking lot and turn to look at Paige. The look on her face tells me she is not going to back down. "How about this…we could stand here and go back and forth about whose turn it is to pick the movie or we can race for it. The first person to the car gets to pick the movie. Deal?"

Paige doesn't answer with words. Instead she turns and focuses all of her attention on the car ahead.

I turn back towards the direction of the car. "On three…one…two…three!"

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I'm in the living room setting our food and drinks on the coffee table. I'm fresh from my shower and now waiting for Paige to finish hers. She waited while I took my shower so she could pay for our food delivery when they arrived.

I hear Paige coming down the stairs and only have to wait a few seconds before she walks into the room. I get ready to cue the movie when she sits down on the couch. Paige rolls her eyes, "I'm not watching Rudy again. Just so you know."

"It's not Rudy. And besides, you lost the race so you really have no say in what we watch."

"It's not fair, you cheated."

"You slipped on gravel, Paige. How does that equal me cheating?"

"I'm sure there is a way," Paige said pouting. If I didn't think she was so cute I'd probably find her competitiveness annoying. "What are we watching?" she asks.

I turn the blu-ray player on and the menu screen of ET pops up. Paige jumps off the couch. "Oh no! We are not watching that. Where did it even come from?"

"And you called ME the Cowardly Lion earlier," I say with a chuckle. "I brought it with me. Time you face your fears, Paige. Now sit back down."

"Is this retribution for the sky lift?"

I shake my head "no" with my hands on my hips then point to the couch. "Sit."

At various times through the movie Paige mumbled her discontent under her breath. She was sitting on the opposite end of the couch with her knees brought up to her chest and a blanket wrapped around her. "Worst girlfriend ever," I heard her say.

"What's that?" I asked as I look her direction.

"Nothing."

An hour later Paige is sobbing. "Em, what's wrong with ET? Is he gonna be OK? Why is he so white? What are those scientists doing to him?"

By the end of the movie Paige has a box of Kleenex in her lap and is sniffling. "He's going home!" She points at the television and looks at me. "See, there's his ship. He's going home!"

I laugh and pat her knee. "Yeah babe, I see. ET is going home."

The closing credits scroll along the screen and Paige turns to me, a look of veiled aggravation on her face and tear stained cheeks. "I can't believe you made me watch that!"

"What? I helped you get over your fear."

"No, it's SOOOO sad. It's like the saddest movie ever. I can't stop thinking about it. Heartbreaking. I mean, surely the writers could have found a way to make it work. ET could have stayed. I know he missed his family but they could have come too. Now everyone is sad- ET, Elliot, Elliot's mom cause he's sad…" Paige is on a roll.

"Oh jeez." Here we go.

**A/N: I have to be honest. ET never caught my interest. I had to Google scenes to write this because I've never seen it. A few chapters ago I wrote that Paige was afraid of it when she was little. I've mentioned before that I never know exactly what I'm going to write when I start and sometimes randomness ensues. That's my only explanation for ET popping up in this story. I don't know. (Oh, and there really is a yellow painted line on the trail up the mountain I referred to.)**


	19. Chapter 19

**Glad the last chapter went over well. A little Paily fun-fluff to get us through the 5x14 hurdle. Reminder…we're in 2010 for this story right now. Not 2014/15.**

**Chapter 19**

_I'm holding on to the ledge with all I've got. My fingers are starting to slip ever so slowly. Beads of sweat are rolling down my back from the exertion. The surface is bouncing up and down and the source of the imbalance is near me. I scan my eyes to the left and see small Spiderman shoes with a Velcro strap hopping up and down. One by one my fingers start to slip off the metal that I'm desperately clinging to until finally…_

I bolt upright in Paige's bed gasping for air. I look around the dark room and realize it was just a dream or nightmare rather. _Damn sky lift_ I think to myself. My tank top is damp from sweat and my breathing is labored.

I feel Paige shift in bed next to me. She places her hand on my arm. "Hey, are you ok?"

I swallow hard and take deep breaths. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." I look around the room again to hold tight to my bearings. "Just a bad dream."

Paige gently runs her hand up and down my arm. "Want to talk about it?"

Paige's touch is settling me down and I can feel my breathing even out. The slight dampness of my tank top is giving me a chill as the cool air from the air conditioning circulates. I lie back down and snuggle into Paige's arms. "Sky lift. I'm fine. Just talk to me for a little bit, ok?"

"Sorry. What do you want to talk about?"

"Anything. I don't care. Something light and fun." I just want to get the images of the dream out of my mind.

Paige takes a minute then starts talking. "I've got just the thing; a joke. You ready?" I nod my head. "A termite walks into a bar and asks everyone: 'Is the bar tender here?'"

Complete silence. _Was that the joke? _Paige laughs. "Don't you get it," she asks. I don't say anything so she goes on. "You know, the TERMITE…asks about the bar…being TENDER? Cause it's a termite...that eats wood…like the wood that a BAR is made of…and the BARTENDER…who serves drinks…AT THE BAR. Right?"

"That's ridiculous, Paige! You can do better than that." She is so adorable.

"Challenge accepted. What is a vampire's favorite food?"

I brainstorm for a minute. "Bloody Mary," I answer. This has to be it.

"No. Nec-tarines!"

Ok, that was kind of funny in a five year old got the joke from a candy wrapper kind of way. I can't help but laugh a little. "Ok, ok. I have one. It's more of a pun," I say excitedly.

"Shoot," Paige says, giving me the go ahead.

"Two peanuts were walking down the street…one was a-salted!"

Paige squeezes me tight. "Oh my God."

"What? That's funny!" I jab her in the ribs with my finger. "How's this…how do you fix a pumpkin with a hole in it?"

"Carve it out." I can feel Paige shrug her shoulders.

"Nuh huh. Put in a pumpkin patch!"

We both laugh at that one. "We are never going to get back to sleep," Paige says.

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It's another beautiful day in Georgia. I could really get used to spending time here. I know I'm starting a new job in a little over a week but that doesn't mean I've put thoughts of moving to Atlanta on the back burner. I am still very much open to it. I want to be wherever Paige is.

Paige's voice pulls me from my thoughts. "I don't understand why we have to go clothes shopping," Paige says as we drive down the parkway.

"Because, we need to have something appropriate to wear tonight," I point out.

"We do have appropriate clothes for tonight. Just not what you want us to wear," Paige counters.

"What time is the game?"

"It starts at 7:15."

I look at the clock on the dash. "We have plenty of time so quit complaining. Besides, you're an Atlantian now. You need to look the part."

We pull into the parking lot of Dick's Sporting Goods and make our way to the entrance. It's easy to find what were looking for. There is a whole section of merchandise devoted to the Atlanta Braves MLB team.

I hold my arms out at my sides and gesture around the section. "Take your pick."

We both look around the selection of clothes and have small piles in our hands. Paige is sticking mostly to t-shirts and jerseys whereas I'm more focused on tank tops. Paige makes her way to a dressing room before I'm ready and I tell her I'll be over shortly.

When I'm done looking around I knock on Paige's fitting room door and ask how she is doing. She tells me that she is pretty well done and has picked what she's getting. I ask her to see it. Paige steps out in a navy, v-neck t-shirt with the Atlanta Braves logo on it and the phrase "I play hardball." The shirt is fitted and hugs her chest and torso perfectly. The v at the neckline dips just enough to show off her cleavage. She looks hot. My shopping trip was the best idea ever.

I lick my lips. "You look hot."

"Thanks," Paige says with a smile. "What did you find?"

"I'm just getting ready to try mine on now." Paige gathers her items and lets me have her fitting room.

As I try on clothes Paige asks me how it's going. I keep it simple and say that I'm fine. "Are you going to let me see what you're trying on," Paige asks. I tell her no, that she won't see it until I've chosen what I want.

Once I've made my decision I look myself over in the mirror one last time before I show Paige. It's a heather grey racer-back tank top with the scripted Atlanta "A" on the front in navy blue. The arm holes are trimmed in navy also. The fit is slim and accentuates by slender waist and appealing chest.

I open the door to show Paige my selection. She looks at me and her eyes widen. "Holy shit. This was SUCH a good idea. Let's get you one in every color."

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The traffic leading into downtown Atlanta was horrible but we made it to the game on time. Paige and I agreed that we have to go all out tonight. That means hot dogs, Dip'n'Dots, beer, nachos...all the ball park stuff. I'm on my second beer and getting antsy. These games take a while. "Is it the seventh inning stretch yet? I can't sit this long." The game is getting kind of boring.

Paige laughs. "Emily, honey, it's the bottom of the third inning. The seventh inning stretch doesn't happen until, you know, the SEVENTH inning. We've still got a while to go."

I roll my eyes. Just then the fans around us start cheering, presumably for the player who just stepped up to bat. "Who's that," I ask.

"It's Chipper Jones. He's our third baseman."

I recognize the name. "Oh, I've heard of him!" He hits a fly ball that careens towards our section. I duck while everyone else around us holds up the gloves they brought or tries to catch the ball with their bare hands. I've never understood why people care so much about catching baseballs at these games. What are they going to do with it? Put it in a glass case on their fireplace mantel. Sell it for a couple bucks on eBay. No, more than likely it will end up as a toy for their dog or a practice ball for their kids.

A couple innings later, during a TV time out, the crowd gets excited for the kiss cam. Couples around the stadium look up to the jumbo screen to see if they are being honed in on by the cameraman. As we are watching the surprised couples kiss for the camera suddenly the couple next to Paige pops up on screen. Paige is also shown and you can see the side of me as well. In a panic I lean as far away from Paige as possible. We cannot kiss on this screen in front of all these people…on TV no less!

Paige turns to my direction and sees that I'm practically falling out of my seat to distance myself from her. She furrows her browns and gives me "a look." I can tell she's hurt. I'm sure she thinks I've overreacted and she'd probably be right. But I'm not out and the thought of being up on a screen kissing Paige in front of all of these people makes me very uneasy.

"Emily, relax. You're acting ridiculous. The cameraman wasn't even focusing on us. It was for the couple next to me."

"I know. I'm sorry." That's all I can say. It's as simple as that. This week has been wonderful so far. It's like Paige and I have been in our own little world of coupleness. It's easy to forget that outside of our happiness together our friends and loved ones know nothing of it. Nor do I want them to right now.

Paige turns to face the field again. Her voice is soft but stern when all she says is, "Yeah."

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We barely spoke for the rest of the game. It was awkward to say the least. I kept trying to engage Paige in conversations but her words were clipped and responses guarded. What started as a fun day and evening is quickly going downhill. Finally I've had all I can take of it and ask to go home saying I'm tired and getting a headache.

The car ride home wasn't much better. At least at the game we had people around us and something to watch as a distraction. Now all we have is unspoken tension filling the car begging me to open the window and let it out. I've looked over to Paige a few times hoping that she'll notice and take her eyes off the road for just one second to look back at me. She doesn't and that's when I know this is a thing. This could be a major thing.

We walk into Paige's bedroom once we're back and Paige starts taking off her shoes and jewelry. "Paige..." I start to say.

She doesn't even look up from what she's doing. She just flatly says, "What, Emily?"

The tone of her voice lets me know that is not a question she wants answered. She'd rather me go away right now. "Nothing," I respond. I start to gather some clothes to take with me to the bathroom. "I guess I'm going to take a shower," I say, walking towards the master bathroom.

Just as I am about to walk through the bathroom door I hear Paige say, "Wait. I'm sorry. I want- can we just talk for a minute?"

I turn back towards her and go to sit on the bed. Paige sits next to me and starts, "We need to talk about what happened at the game. Why did you act that way when the kiss cam was on the couple next to me?"

I knew that must have been what was bothering her. How do I explain my reaction and it not hurt her feelings? "I guess I didn't want people to see us on the screen sitting together and expect us to kiss."

"No one there knew we are a couple, Emily. Actually, come to think of it. No one knows at all. I haven't even told my friends yet because I've been trying to respect your boundaries." Paige takes a deep breath and continues. "Are you ashamed of being with me?" I read sadness in her eyes and I know it's my fault. I hate it.

I take both of her hands and hold them between mine. "No, babe, not at all. I am not ashamed of you or us. Just because I haven't told anyone that you are my girlfriend doesn't mean I'm ashamed."

"What does it mean?"

"It means this," I motion between her and me, "is still relatively new for me. It means I'm still stumbling my way through, clearly. Ultimately, it means I'm not ready to come out yet."

"We've been together over two months, Emily. Don't you think it would be nice for you to tell someone? Don't you want to?"

I'm starting to get aggravated by the course of this discussion. I sidestep Paige's question to point out my own fact. "Isn't this a little hypocritical of you, Paige? You're not out yet either."

"That's not fair. My friends know I'm gay. They've known for a while."

"Your closest friends at Penn know. What about the people you grew up with? And what about your family? No, none of them know. But yet for some reason you feel the need to push me."

"Emily, that's not what I'm doing. But I think it would help you to be able to talk to someone. We're 800 miles apart. I'm not there with you. You have to want to talk to someone at times, surely. What about Hanna? She'd be great for you to open up to."

"No." I shake my head emphatically.

"Hanna knows me, Em, really well. She likes me! She's my sorority sister for God sake."

I give Paige a hard look. How is she not understanding this right now? She was where I was once. Hell, she's still halfway here now. I'm done talking about this for tonight. "You know, for someone who told me at the beginning that you wouldn't pressure me…well, this sure as hell feels like pressure." Paige starts to say something and I cut her off. "I'm going to take a shower," and I leave her sitting there and storm into the bathroom.

I strip off my clothes and forcefully throw them into a pile on the floor. I jerk the shower door open and close it with a bang. I turn on the hot water and let it stream down my body. I can feel tears well up and in my eyes and soon they mingle with the water running down my cheeks.

This is the one and only time a disagreement with someone I'm dating has ever made me cry. I am fully invested in Paige and I and it scares me. She matters, our relationship matters. I want to be with her- I want HER. That's all I want. No one has ever made me feel the way she does. Why can't that be enough for right now? I'm not questioning my feelings for her. I don't want to back out of our relationship. I'm just not ready to run and tell everyone about it.

It's true we've been dating for over two months but we spent over half of that time living in completely different cities. We don't have the typical dating life. We don't get to regularly go out on dates. I don't get to stop by and bring her coffee at work just because I'm nearby. We can't do some of the things that other couples do simply because we aren't there. So when we are present it's "adjust to being together again" at first. Or, me thinking "it's ok Emily, you're used to people seeing you together and noticing that you're together, together." No, I don't have that…we don't have that because our times together are few and far between.

It's hard. It is so hard. But I don't want to tell Paige that. I don't want it to create more distance between us. It might push her away and that terrifies me. I need to be with her, and if I can't physically be with her, I need to know she's there…my anchor, keeping me safe when the waves of uncertainty and fear threaten to take me down.

What I do know with complete certainty is that I am falling head over heels in love with this girl. I have been since the first time I saw her. Paige McCullers is everything I didn't know I was missing but somehow still knew I needed.

I will the water to wash away my sadness as I cry. I cry for Paige and the hurt I know I caused her tonight. I cry for me and the inner turmoil that sometimes threatens to squeeze me dry. I cry for our relationship, knowing the journey we have to take may have peaks and it may have valleys. But I know we will walk through the valleys and the shadows together and as long as we do that we will make it to the other side.

**A/N: I DID say there would be ups and downs…(peaks and valleys). Let's classify this chapter "dramedy."**


	20. Chapter 20

**Thank you, wonderful readers for your follows, favs and comments. I continue to be humbled by your interest in this story. We Paily fans gotta stick together. And I've got some Hanna-level bad thoughts about Talia. She will be thought of henceforth as "take-a-hike Talia." What I wouldn't give for that to be the next PLL #hashtag.**

**Chapter 20**

I woke slowly and stretched, listening to the hum of the ceiling fan above. It took a moment for the events of last night to creep into my consciousness. I turn my head to Paige's side of the bed. Vacant; just as I knew it would be. Last night, after my long, emotional shower I came back to the bedroom to find the lights off and Paige turned on her side to face the windows. She didn't turn towards me or acknowledge my presence in the room. She was either asleep or pretending to be asleep to avoid me at all cost.

Falling asleep last night was not easy. I lay in bed for a long time and just watched the blades of the fan spin around and around. In a way they strangely matched my thoughts. I felt like my head was spinning. I probably shouldn't have abruptly ended the conversation with Paige to run to the solitude of the shower. As a result we didn't resolve our conflict and now all that's left is a cold side of the bed and silence. I vow to correct that any way I can. I need to go downstairs and find Paige. I assume she is down there somewhere.

I find her in the kitchen; shoulders slumped and head down staring into a mug of coffee. The floor creaked as I step across the threshold and she looks up to me. Her eyes are puffy with dark circles underneath. I know I probably look similar. It seems Paige didn't sleep either. Silence settles between us as neither one of us knows how to begin.

I decide to bridge the gap, "Morning," I say timidly.

"Morning," Paige replies flatly.

"I'm sorry," we say at the same time.

I hold my palm up and go to sit in the seat next to Paige. I turn the chair to face her and scoot a little closer. "Please, let me." I put my hand on her knee. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I hope you know I wouldn't intentionally do that to you." Paige nodded her head slowly so I continued. "I shouldn't have left the conversation like that. I should have stayed and talked more. I meant what I said though, Paige. I'm not ready. I need time. Maybe you don't see it, but I need to do this my way."

Paige rested her hand over mine that was on her knee. "I get that, for the most part, I do. I'm not trying to pressure you. I did tell you I wouldn't do that and I meant it." She squeezed my hand with sincerity. "And you were right; I'm not out to everyone, least of all my parents. But I will be, Em, and soon. I don't want to hide anymore. I just need to know that you want to get to that point sometime, even if it's in small steps."

I kissed Paige softly in reassurance. "I do and I will…we will." With that settled, for now anyway, I focus on the day ahead. This is my last day in town before my flight tomorrow afternoon. I want to make sure we make the most of it. "What do you want to do today?"

"Actually, I planned ahead. I thought it would be nice to spend our last full day together doing something just the two of us." She hesitated before adding, "Well, kind of."

"What do you mean by 'kind of,' Paige? What are you up to?"

Paige laughed. "I made us reservations; you'll like it. We're gonna ride the hooch."

I close the distance between us and run my finger seductively down Paige's neck to the crest of her breasts. I brush her neck with a moist, hot kiss. Paige's flesh jumps under my touch. "Oh, really," I purr.

Paige moans then smiles softly. "Get it out of the gutter, woman! We're going to kayak the Chattahoochee River. In fact, we need to get dressed so we'll have to continue this," she kisses my neck softly, "later."

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After checking in at the rental station in Azalea Park we are driven by shuttle to the Chattahoochee River National Recreation Area at Island Ford. There, a few staff members of the kayak and canoe rental company get us set up with our bright yellow two-person kayak. We are both given life jackets and a paddle. The two guys working the ramp can't be much younger than Paige and I and probably still in school. One of them is wearing a University of South Carolina baseball cap. The other shows off his sandy blonde, slightly wavy hair that most girls must love.

"Carolina," as I refer to him, is showing me quite a bit of extra attention. He's complimented me on the tone of my arms and how I should do very well paddling down river. While he was showing me how to paddle he conveniently placed his hands over mine, leaning over me _just so_. In my periphery I can see Paige and she looks like she might bend her paddle in half. I keep brushing Carolina's advances off but it's not taking. Maybe southern boys are not used to the brush off?

My persistent helper sees me struggling to tighten the middle strap of my life jacket and offers to help. He steps closer to me and reaches for the cord to pull it snug. I'm not stupid; I know what he's doing of course. The strap is dead even with my boobs. Paige notices and comes over. She pulls his hands from the strap to stop him. "Why don't you let me take over here? I think your buddy," she gestures to the other guy, "needs help with the canoe group."

Carolina looks over to see "sandy blonde guy" talking to a group of middle-aged men and women and makes a face. "I think he has it covered," he says moving towards me again.

"Go," is all Paige says but the fire in her eyes sends the message. He wasted no time in scurrying off to the canoe group.

I look up to her when he has left. "Carolina wasn't taking any hints. Thanks for coming over."

Paige shrugs her shoulders. "Yeah, well it was either this or I give a him a jab to the gut with my paddle. I figure you'll need a ride to the airport tomorrow and that won't happen if I'm in jail so…."

She is so damn cute. "You're adorable, babe." I knew that would make her smile which it did.

"Let's get out of here. I'm ready to get on the river alone with you. If we hurry we can launch before any of these other groups." Paige secures her backpack under the bungee straps at the front of the kayak and we're off. Paige sits in the lead seat at the front and I settled in to the rear seat.

The river is flowing at an easy pace today. In fact, we don't have to paddle much unless we just want to. From our starting point at Island Ford we have about 3 miles downriver before we reach our destination back at Azalea Park. It should take us no more than two to three hours.

Paige gives me a brief history lesson on the river and surrounding area as we paddle. The Chattahoochee River banks were once home to Creek and Cherokee Indians. I can't imagine what life was like back in their day. At that time the river was used primarily for trade and communications as it was a major transportation source. It was the Creeks who named the river the Chattahoochee meaning colored or painted rock. As I look around I notice quite a bit of rock jutting from the river. The obstruction in the flow causes slight rapids along the route but nothing major; in fact I'd hardly call them rapids.

The scenery is beautiful. Luckily the temperature has dropped some today and puffy clouds overhead offer respite from the suns intensity. Canadian Geese are abundant here. Some swim near us and it seems they are not shy of people. On a cluster of nearby rocks several more geese lazily sun themselves as we float by.

I look past the group of geese when I see movement on a log extending out into the water. "Look, Paige," I say pointing to my left. Paige looks back to me then turns her head the direction I'm pointing. A mama turtle, I assume it is, leads three baby turtles along the log in single file line. The baby turtles are flopping along trying their hardest to follow their momma. "Those baby turtles are so cute!"

We have passed a few fishermen on the riverbank but other than that we are relatively alone. It's wonderful. I place my paddle across my legs and with my arms crossed behind my head I lean back in my seat. I'll have to thank Paige later for setting this up. It's the perfect way to spend my last day here.

Paige's voice pulls me from my reverie. "Emily, you aren't paddling!"

I straighten back up and look forward to Paige who is frowning at me from the front seat. "I don't need to." Paige holds her arms up as if to say 'really?' "Come on, Paige. The river practically guides us there all on its own. It's built in auto-pilot. Lean back and relax."

"As much as I love the view of you leaning back like that soaking up the sun we'll be out here all day if you don't help me paddle some. We are supposed to be back within three hours you know."

"Fine, fine," I say and start paddling again.

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While we were returning the kayak and equipment Paige and I talked about what we wanted to do that night. What we settled on was going to a club for dancing and drinks. We haven't gotten to do that together since before we graduated from Penn just three months prior.

By the time we got to Paige's house and showered and had dinner I was starting to feel my energy reserves run down. Couple kayaking with being in the sun for the majority of the day and I was done for. Paige was leaning against me on the couch in the same position we'd been in for the past 45 minutes. I kissed the top of her head and said, "I guess we better get up and get ready if we're going out tonight."

"Yeah," Paige said though she made no effort to move.

"We're boring. Have we become that couple who just stays home all the time?" Paige looks at me and shrugs her shoulders. "It's like we're an old married couple."

Paige gives me a look as if to say "married, huh?" I laugh nervously. "You know what I mean."

Another 15 minutes passed. I was starting to get stiff from the lack of movement and I could feel the strain of our three mile kayak starting to tighten my arm, shoulder and back muscles. I started rotating my shoulder a bit. Ever since the injury in high school that ended my competitive swimming career it flairs up with too much activity.

Paige noticed and a look of concern crossed her face. "Are you ok?"

"Yes, I'll be fine. Just a little stiff. SOMEONE made me paddle a kayak today," I say teasing Paige.

Paige thought for a moment then looked towards the stairs. "Meet me in the bedroom in five minutes." Then she took off upstairs.

I didn't know what to think, but I knew I'd find out soon enough. After I thought enough time had passed I made my way upstairs to the bedroom. The lights in the room were dim, just enough to see by. Candles were lit and placed in various locations around the room. Paige stood by the bed with a bottle of heated massage oil. "Hello, my name is Paige and I'll be your massage therapist today," she said with that cute half grin. "Please, make yourself comfortable on the bed."

I did as I was told. I lay on my stomach with a pillow supporting my head. Paige tugged on the hem of my tank top and said, "This is going to have to go, ma'am." I raised my torso off the bed and let Paige lift it over my head. Next she unclasped my bra and pulled the straps down my arms letting her fingers brush along my skin as she did so. A slight shiver ran down my spine.

Paige then picked up the bottle of massage oil and rubbed some on her hands. She started at the small of my back and smoothed her hands up to my shoulders. The heated oil felt heavenly and Paige's hands were magical as always. The oil smelled like lavender and jasmine and I let it and Paige's kneading fingers relax me. Paige used just enough pressure to work the muscles but not so much to cause discomfort.

Her skilled fingers worked out the tension between my shoulder blades then she moved to the base of my neck and over to both shoulders. Her attention to my body was unlike anything I'd ever experienced. It was sensual yet healing at the same time. I felt my body sink into the mattress as the pull of sleep started to take over. I was in that grey area between sleep and wake, just barely aware of the activity happening outside of my body.

I began to feel feather-like kisses brush the back of my neck. That's when I started to perk up. See that is a major weak spot for me and Paige knows this. Flutters of arousal pulsated in my belly. The gentle kisses started to trail down the column of my spine until they fanned out at the small of my back. I moaned into the pillow before asking, "You do this for all your clients?"

I turned over to my back and looked up at Paige. Her eyes were dark with lust and I could feel it coming off of her in waves. I reached up and pulled her to me by her t-shirt. Her body settled on top of mine as I kissed her, hard. I wanted to feel her flesh to flesh so I pulled the t-shirt over her head and threw it somewhere to the side of the bed. Lucky for me she wasn't wearing a bra tonight. Before Paige and I started dating I'd have never thought just this could feel so good. Her breasts pressed against mine were a feeling I'd never get tired of.

Our tongues explored every inch of the others mouth. I ran my hands up the back of Paige's thighs to her firm ass and squeezed. This brought her pelvis into closer contact with my own and my hips bucked with the contact. Paige left my mouth and inched her way down, kissing and biting all the way. When I felt her tongue dart out to circle, then suck my right nipple I filled the room with a gasp of pleasure. "Paige…"

She continued to kiss, lick and suck on my nipple until she switched sides and gave the left the attention it equally deserved. My hands found their way to Paige's hair. I alternated between pulling her hair and pushing her face closer to me.

I have never, not once, been as turned on as I am right now. Paige and I have gotten pretty hot and heavy before but I've always stopped it before we had sex. Our connection happened so quickly that at least physically, this way; I felt it was important for us to take things slow. I'm having second thoughts about that as Paige's free hand traces patterns over my shorts near the apex of my thighs. Our breathing is heavy and I can feel Paige's hand twitching to go lower. Just another inch or so and she'll be where we both want her.

We haven't even said I love you yet and I don't want THIS to happen until we do or at least until I do. I believe that I'm falling in love with Paige but I'm not ready to say it yet. I want to make absolutely certain before I say those three most meaningful, special words. It's not something I take lightly- love or sex. And for these reasons I have to stop us.

I am so fortunate to be with someone who understands. She respects me in every way and I couldn't ask for more than that. When I told her we needed to stop she held back. It can't be easy for her: to get that worked up and then have the brakes put on abruptly. She's had sex before, I assume so anyway, and her willingness to wait for me to be ready means a lot. It means she is the wonderful woman I know her to be. And I spend the rest of the night wrapped up in her loving arms.

**A/N: Patience is a virtue, y'all. They'll get there…and soon.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Next chapter, y'all, next chapter you'll get your first go-round of Paily sexy times. I'll be posting it in the next day or two. Thanks for reading and thanks for hanging in there for those of you who are anxiously awaiting.**

**For now though let us enjoy the set up. And wish we could get some sort of Paily long distance on the show.**

**Chapter 21**

The past couple months have been a whirlwind of activity. The week after I returned from Atlanta I started my new job with the NFL. I have to say I am loving it. I wondered what it would be like for a female to be launched into the environment of a male sport. It's been easier than I thought. In fact, it's a complete non-issue which is a relief. I do my job well and I enjoy what I'm doing. It's nice to receive the respect I do from my peers.

My first week was spent at the NFL headquarters in New York. Though I was going to be able to work from home I had to first go through training and HR red tape. It was nice; I got to meet a lot of coworkers and I spent time with Hanna since she's living there now. Just like I told her right before we graduated: she is taking that city by storm.

I've gotten especially close with one of my coworkers, Chelsea. She works for the NFL Network as an associate producer. She knows so much about football; I've learned a lot from her. Chelsea graduated a few years ago from the University of Tennessee with a journalism degree. Her dad is well-known state wide in Tennessee as a very good high school football coach which is where her knowledge comes from. When we both go to the same game we are travel buddies. She makes the experience more fun just because of her personality. She's a ball of fire that's for sure. It seems entirely appropriate for some reason that she has red hair and emerald colored eyes. It's a striking combination. She's petite but what she lacks in size she makes up for in spunk.

During my last day at headquarters I was in Chelsea's cubicle chatting for a bit before my next meeting. On her desk I saw a really cute picture of her and a taller dark-haired girl with expressive blue eyes. In the picture their arms are wrapped around each other on the beach. It was white powder sand so I assumed they were somewhere along the Gulf. You could tell that the two women are very close. I asked her if it was her sister or best friend or something. It wasn't; it was her girlfriend. She and her girlfriend, Addie, have been together for three years and are very committed to each other. Chelsea had no problem talking to me, or gushing rather, about Addie. It made me slightly jealous that they are at that point in their lives and relationship whereas Paige and I are not yet, and I still have guilt that perhaps I am holding us and Paige back.

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Speaking of relationships, Spencer and Toby have finally gotten together as we all knew was going to happen. She's really happy and I am glad for her. Toby really is a wonderful guy and I have enjoyed getting to know him. Spencer is studying for her Juris Doctorate but she has always been interested in architecture. Most weekends they can be found driving around in Toby's Jeep with the top off while visiting local historic buildings. I love the history that has happened within those walls while those two, on the other hand, regard the creative architectural expression. _Whatever that means._

As happy as I am for Spencer and Toby, their coupling means I've seen a lot of Ben too. Which I didn't think would be a problem based off of our first group lunch several months ago. I was wrong. I'm beginning to see that I may have overestimated his ability and desire to keep things between us as friends. He hasn't been overt about it; quite the opposite in fact which may be worse because I can't be sure. But he makes subtle comments that could be taken a certain way…or not. If he'd just come out with it I could appropriately shut him down. For now I try to stress how nice it is that we are FRIENDS again and that's it's comforting that we can spend time together without the complications of a relationship. Hopefully he gets it.

I don't think Paige gets it. She does not trust Ben's intentions regardless of what I say. However, she trusts me and that's what means the most to me. We both know nothing will happen between Ben and me. Still, the idea that Ben nevertheless carries feelings for me gets under Paige's skin. She came home for a weekend about a month and a half ago to celebrate her grandma's 80th birthday. She met Ben that trip; it was a real treat. At one point Ben sensed the tension coiling within Paige and leaned over to me asking what her problem was. I laughed it off as wariness and stress from her airport ordeals that morning. Later that night I got an earful from Paige about how Ben better "keep his paws off MY smokin' hot girlfriend" I quote.

That same weekend I took Paige home with me to Rosewood for Sunday brunch with my mom. Paige was nervous about meeting my mom. I totally understood why. My mom hasn't exactly hidden her feelings about homosexuality from me and she knows Paige is gay. I was nervous too though I never told Paige and I hid it very well. I prayed my mom wouldn't be rude. She's a polite woman, taught me manners very well, but she's also opinionated and not shy about sharing those opinions.

In the end the day went amazingly well. My mom is an avid gardener. She mentioned over lunch having problems with one of the azalea bushes in the back yard. Paige offered to take a look explaining that when she was little she loved tagging along her parent's property "helping" their gardener. It was a funny story that my mom and I laughed at. At first Paige ruined more flowers and bushes than she improved, but eventually she learned and got the hang of it. Right away Paige noticed what the problem was with the azalea bush and explained to my mom how to correct. I believe that was the moment Paige won her over.

Later that night, back in Philadelphia, I got a text from mom that read: **Paige is a wonderful girl, Emmy. I can see why you two are such good friends. I may not agree with her life choices but she's welcome back anytime. **When I got that text from mom I actually teared up. In fact, I kept the text and sometimes still read it. She's making progress.

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Paige and mine birthday's are two and a half weeks apart; I couldn't be more excited. Paige's birthday is first. I am upset that I won't see her on her birthday, physically any way, though we will Skype that night. The weekend of my birthday Paige is flying in to Philadelphia. I CANNOT wait to see her.

For the past few weeks I've thought long and hard about what to get Paige for her birthday. I want her to open it on the actual day of so I already know it has to be something I can send via mail. Knowing Paige like I do I think she'll appreciate a meaningful gift more than something of monetary worth. Working on that instinct I think I've come up with the perfect idea. If I send it today she'll get it in time for our Skype chat on her birthday.

I'm getting ready to wrap and box everything up now. Long distance relationships can be hard- very hard. The distance interferes with practically every aspect of your life together. The physical distance, of course being the most defining obstacle because you simply aren't there. Well, my gifts will hopefully ease those nights and days when Paige feels my absence. I'm giving her a gift of the five senses. You know: sight, touch, taste, hearing and smell. Each gift should stimulate the particular sense that it represents.

When I was in Atlanta in July Paige and I spent an afternoon in Stone Mountain Park. While we were on top of the mountain I asked a group of teenagers if one of them could take our picture together with my iPhone. The young girl who took our picture went through several shots trying to get one with Paige and me actually looking at her. I saved all of them in my phone. My favorite picture maybe wouldn't be classified as "perfect" but it is to me. Paige and I have our arms draped over each other's shoulders. She is smiling brightly into the camera whereas I have my head turned smiling candidly at her. They say a picture is worth a thousand words…well my smile and soulful eyes say "I want you," "I need you," "I love you," a thousand times over. I had the picture developed into an 8x10 and professionally framed. On the back of the frame matting I wrote: _**Sense of sight: **_**My beautiful Paige. I love this picture of us. I've kept it in my phone since the day it was taken in July. When I think of you, as I always do, this is one of the go-to pictures of us that I look at. Your smile is beautiful and your eyes sparkle with happiness. As you can see in the picture I am happy too simply because of the nearness of you. I will never get tired of seeing you. You are in my daydreams throughout the waking hours and my dreams at night while I sleep.**

The next present is pretty self explanatory. It's a big brown, plush stuffed teddy bear. It was also one of the hardest gifts for me to find. I must have looked ridiculous. I think I hugged over 20 stuffed bears at the toy store. I just wanted to make sure it was the perfect one. It needed to be soft and cuddly and also big enough for Paige to feel as though she had something she could really hold on to. I grabbed the card for this gift and a safety pin to attach the card to the stuffed animal. The card said: _**Sense of touch: **_**For those nights when your arms long to wrap themselves around me and hold me close. I know the bear isn't the same, but I hope you find some comfort in his presence. Know that I would much rather it is me that you hold close. In your arms is where I belong, Paige.**

One thing that can always be found on my person is Burt's Bees strawberry lip balm. Paige makes fun of me for it; she says I'm addicted to it. I'm not! I just like soft lips. Heaven knows she does too. I certainly don't get any complaints from her when our lips are fused together as we kiss. I tape the tube of lip balm inside the card and on the blank flap write: _**Sense of taste: **_** You're laughing right now aren't you? I know you are. You have to admit that you love my strawberry lip balm. Don't think I don't see you licking your lips when ours part. I see you, girl! Pucker up, babe. The next time I see you I expect kissable soft lips and the taste of strawberries.**

The first time Paige and I ever sang karaoke I was hesitant to do it. I'm a swimmer, not a signer. Sure I sing, and I do pretty great, thanks to the acoustics of my shower or the solitude of my car. Otherwise not so much. However, Paige gets me to do things that I wouldn't normally do. I've always wanted someone who could push me to my boundaries and encourage me to break through. That is an attractive quality. So, the first time we sang together we rocked out to P!ink. The crowd cheered wildly as we ended the song. I told myself it was because we were epic, not because everyone was drunk. Since then we've done karaoke a lot. I decided to make Paige a playlist of all of our karaoke songs. I taped a thumb drive to the inside of the card and on the blank flap wrote: _**Sense of hearing: **_**Remember singing these songs? Everything I do with you is so much fun, Paige. But this though, most people wouldn't have believed you were able to get me up on stage that first time. What they don't know is that I'd follow you anywhere. I hope listening to the songs on this drive helps you to remember these special memories. I cherish each and every moment with you.**

I have this really comfy worn-in Rosewood Sharks t-shirt from my swimming days. Paige loves the shirt. Every time she stayed at my apartment in college she put it on. I pull it out of the dresser drawer and lay it across my bed. My vanity top looks like a Macy's fragrance counter. What can I say? Perfume is one of my few vices; I have at least six scents that I rotate through on a daily basis. But Paige's favorite is Burberry so I reach for the bottle and spray it all over my t-shirt. In the card I begin to write: _**Sense of smell:**_** The sense of smell is sometimes, I think anyway, the strongest of our senses. It can evoke a feeling or memory in seconds with simply the inhale of a breath. I know how much you like it when I wear Burberry. And if I'm being honest, I like it too, because you nuzzle your nose into the crook of my neck and take deep breathes. It makes me melt. **I take a large Ziploc bag and seal the t-shirt and card inside.

I wrap each gift individually then place it all in one large box. Next stop: FedEx.

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I've been listening to the Evan & Jeron song, _The Distance,_ virtually all day on repeat. It's like they wrote the song for the sole purpose of it one day being my long distance relationship anthem. They knew someone named Emily Fields would be lucky enough to meet and fall for an amazing girl named Paige McCullers and that someday the two would be separated by miles. They knew that in those trying times Emily would need a song that spoke to how she felt and she could find comfort in that. And so I do.

Today is Paige's birthday and believe me, I feel the distance. I want to spend the day and night with her. I want to get her cake, watch her blow out the candles, pray that her wishes come true; help celebrate this day that is all about her. The closest we're going to get is via the wonderful technology that is Skype, which for now will have to do.

I checked the tracking information on the box I sent Paige. It was delivered and signed for this afternoon so I know she has it. I can't wait to talk to her and see what she thinks of the gifts. Hopefully she doesn't think it was a cheesy idea.

At 7:00pm Paige and I sign in to Skype. It is such a joy to see her face. "Happy Birthday, babe," I say enthusiastically to Paige. Paige is dressed up to go out with some friends after our call. I see that she is wearing the birthday cone hat that I sent as instructed. I have a matching one on too. Behind me I've set up birthday streamers.

"Thanks! I'm so glad to see you, Em!" Paige holds up her pointer finger, "Wait just a second, my lips feel a bit dry." She reaches for something on the bed, the strawberry lip balm, and spreads some on her gorgeous lips. "Better," she says smiling into the webcam.

"What I wouldn't give to taste those lips right now."

"Well, in two weeks from now you will get to do just that," Paige says, smacking her lips for effect.

"I see you got the box I sent then?"

Paige nodded her head. "It came today. Thanks so much, Em. I LOVE your idea." She pulled the teddy bear onto her lap taking a deep breath as she did so. Looks like she put my t-shirt on him and secured it in the back with a hair tie.

"What is his name?" I ask. Paige looks at me somewhat confused. I point at the screen, "The bear, what's his name?"

"Oh, hmmm, I haven't thought about that. What do you think I should name him?"

I shake my head. "He's your teddy bear, you get to name him."

Paige placed her finger on her chin and looked up as in thought. "Barry? You know, for Barry the big brown bear. Yeah, that's it. His name is Barry."

"Cute."

The rest of the conversation went by quickly. We talked about what she's been up to, how her day was and what we might want to do the weekend she's back home. As we ended the call I caught myself before saying I love you. It's been happening a lot lately. It's time for me to tell her, but I don't want to over the phone or Skype. I get to see her in two weeks on my birthday. I can't think of a better gift to myself than telling this precious girl how much I love her and give her all of me.


	22. Chapter 22

**As promised…Paily sexy times.**

**It's a long effing chapter but I didn't want to split it up. Get comfy and read along.**

**Oh, and the Bur Beary comment last chapter, you're right! That should have been the bear's name! Ha.**

**Chapter 22**

I told Paige she was going to be mine for the whole weekend and to plan to stay with me while she's in town. I've got plans for us and they do not involve me sharing her.

We've arranged to celebrate our birthdays tonight with friends; even Hanna is coming in from New York. Paige has met Spencer, Toby, Ben and of course Hanna. I know Paige's group of friends from Penn, of course, but I've yet to meet any of her crew from Philadelphia.

We are driving back into town from the airport. Paige's hand is resting in my lap with our fingers entwined. "I thought we could drop your stuff off at the townhouse and get cleaned up before going out to dinner. How does that sound?" I ask.

"Perfect. I'd like to spend a little time alone with you before we join the chaos of our friends later." Paige squeezed my hand. "I can't wait for you to meet my friends. They are going to love you."

"Yeah." I chewed on my bottom lip.

Paige rubbed my shoulder gently. "Hey, what's wrong?"

I've been worried about meeting Paige's friends for a while now. Not long after I left Atlanta Paige Skyped with each girl and came out to them. I've noticed a weight lifted off of Paige since then. Her friends took it really well and were excited when Paige told them she has a girlfriend. Paige told them all about me and made a point to tell them I'm not out yet.

"What if they don't like me, Paige? I mean, they know we're together. What if they resent the fact that I'm not out and think I'm hiding you away?" Paige means so much to me and her friends mean so much to her. I am desperate for their approval.

Paige leaned over the console and kissed my cheek. She smelled like strawberry lip balm. "Emily, they are supportive of me and by extension they are supportive of you too. Just be yourself. And they don't think you're 'hiding me away.' They know your friends don't know about us and will be mindful of that tonight."

Paige goes over who I'm meeting tonight. There is Lacey, her best friend since sixth grade. She is tall, blonde and just as driven as Paige. At 23 years old she's gone into business for herself and opened a bakery. Paige told me to watch out for Lacey and Hanna together. She said until she met Hanna she didn't think there was anyone else quite like Lacey in the world. Next is Vanessa. I'm looking forward to meeting her. Vanessa's parents insisted that she get a college degree against Vanessa's wishes. As soon as she graduated she packed her bags and hit the road. She's been travelling the country working odd jobs to get by. She's in town for a few months working at a friend's bookstore to earn some extra cash before hitting the road again. And finally, Dani. Her given name is Danielle but no one calls her that, Paige pointed out. Dani is in her first year of graduate school for psychology. She and her father are members of Paige's rowing club. Paige's group of friends sounds just about as eclectic as mine.

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Spencer, Toby, Hanna, Paige and I were at the townhouse waiting for Paige's friends to arrive. Ben ended up having to go home to Rosewood for the weekend to help his brother with a project at his house. I was relieved when Toby told me.

When the doorbell rang Paige sprang to her feet and rushed to greet her friends. She swung the door open and enveloped the first girl in a hug. "Hey, Lace!" As each girl walked through Paige greeted them with an enthusiastic hug and hello.

Lacey, Vanessa and Dani were just as Paige described them. Paige introduced everyone. Paige's friends looked me over as Paige introduced me. I'll admit that made me a little self-conscious. Lacey came up to hug me. "It's so nice to finally meet you, Emily! We're glad Paigey made such a good friend," she squeezed me tighter, "while she was at Penn."

I turned to Paige. "Paigey, huh?" I teased.

Paige nudged Lacey's shoulder. "You guys promised you wouldn't embarrass me, remember?"

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Paige and mines friends were being very generous with the birthday drinks tonight. She and I were well on our way to drunk. Everyone was having a great time. Just as Paige suspected Hanna and Lacey were getting along really well. Their personalities are so similar: spunky, funny, fashion forward, a bit boy crazy.

A popular local cover band is playing tonight so the bar is packed. After a couple rounds we all moved to the dance floor. The band was taking a break so the music had switched to a DJ. We danced and laughed and sang with each other. Paige's friends took turns dancing with her and pushed me towards her after, which I appreciated. I understood what they were trying to do, it meant a lot to me. Perhaps I have their approval after all.

Finally we all gave in to tired feet and drunken stupors and headed home. Lacey, Vanessa and Dani took cabs their separate ways. Spencer ended up going home with Toby. Hanna, Paige and I took a cab back to my place. Paige and I had the windows open in the back seat and were shouting loudly to passersby. Hanna kept trying to pull us back into the car with no luck. She finally gave up and let us shout our hearts out to complete strangers on the sidewalks.

By the time we got home I think Hanna had had enough. I hugged her tightly. "I'm so glad you're here! I looooooove you, Hanna," I dragged out.

Paige then walked over and hugged Hanna with me. "I looooove you too, Hanna."

Hanna broke herself from our arms. "OK, Drunk and Drunker. I love you guys too," she said with a laugh. "Get some water and go to bed."

Once Hanna was in Spencer's bedroom I pulled Paige along with me to my room. We stumbled around the room trying to change into pajamas while laughing loudly the whole time. Within minutes of falling into the bed we both were out cold.

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Hanna left a note on the counter that she met up with Toby and Spencer for a late breakfast. I set out to make Paige and I something to eat. I took a mug of coffee into my bedroom and sat on the bed next to Paige. I kissed her cheek and whispered into her ear, "Time to get up."

Paige stretched and said hoarsely, "Mmmm, happy birthday, Em!" She leaned up and kissed me briefly on the lips. "You'll get more after I've brushed my teeth." She inhaled deeply. "Is that bacon?"

"I knew that would get you up. Come on, let's go eat. We have plans to get started with."

Paige reached for a barstool to sit at the center island. She halted just before she sat down when something by the door caught her eye. "Em, why is my luggage and your luggage stacked by the door?"

"Well, that's why I wanted you for the whole weekend. We're staying somewhere else tonight."

"Where are we going?" Paige asked while eating her eggs and bacon.

"The Poconos." I looked at my watch. "In fact," I kissed her forehead, "we need to get going, Sleeping Beauty. We've got about a three hour drive."

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The scenery didn't start changing until we got close to the Poconos Mountains as we entered the foothills. Paige and I would be staying in a small town called Hawley. I rented us a private cabin on Lake Wallenpaupack.

The App on my phone alerted us that the cabin should be directly ahead to the right. I turned down the long, tree lined driveway and pulled up to the cabin. An ornate handmade signpost said "Lover's Lodge" in curvy script.

Paige and I got out of the car and stretched. "Wow, this is amazing, Emily. It's beautiful here."

We were surrounded on three sides by a wooded area. The lake was off the back of the house. I could see a path that led to a covered dock stretching into the water. The cabin was up on stilts in case of flooding. On one side under the house was a spot to park a car or perhaps keep your boat sheltered. On the other side sat a covered hot tub.

"It really is." I grabbed our luggage from the trunk. "Let's go check out the cabin."

I punched the entry code into the locking system on the front door and heard it click. Swinging the door open, Paige and I were greeted by a large vaulted ceiling and plush furniture taking up space in the airy room. The entire back wall was large windows giving us gorgeous views of the lake. In the corner, by the one side of the windows sat a fully stocked bar. On the same side of the room a two-sided stone fireplace stretched from floor to ceiling. The other side of the fireplace formed one wall of the dining room. I looked up to the loft above. From up there you can look down to see the entire first floor. Upstairs are the two bedrooms, a gaming room and movie room.

"I can't believe you did all of this, Em. Thanks so much," Paige enthused.

"You're welcome. But I can't say I don't have selfish reasons for doing this. I wanted us to celebrate our birthdays alone, just the two of us."

We took our luggage to the master bedroom and unpacked. I took my dress for tonight out of my garment bag. It is black lace that dips low in the front and back and a fairly short hemline. Paige lets out a whistle. I smiled appreciatively at her. "This is for dinner tonight."

"I can't wait to see you in it." Paige looked down sheepishly. "I'm afraid I didn't bring anything near as fancy. I would have, I just didn't know…"

I cut her off. "Don't worry, I have it covered," I said as I place another garment bag in the closet. "This one is yours. You can see it later."

Paige quirked her eyebrows. "Later," I repeated with a slow kiss. "Right now we need to head back out. We have reservations for a private trail ride."

Paige bounced on her toes. "Wait," she said, holding up her right hand. "Are we going horseback riding?" I nodded my head. "I've always wanted to do that," Paige said excitedly.

"Have you never been?"

Paige shook her head. "No. I used to ask my dad when I was little but he refused to take me. He said it would be too dangerous. The risk that I could fall off and ruin myself for rowing was too great for him."

"Well now is your chance." I grabbed Paige by the hand and led her to the car. "You're going to love it."

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Giddy Up Stables was a short 20 minute drive from the cabin. After we registered and signed insurance waivers the desk clerk, Natalie, led us to the outdoor arena and left to get our trail guide.

A few minutes later Natalie came back with a tall, burly man with dark unruly hair and a prominent 5 o'clock shadow. He had to have been at least 6'4" and God knows how much all of that muscle weighed. Natalie introduced us, "Emily, Paige, this is Tiny, your trail guide."

Paige snorted in laughter. "Tiny?" she said, elbowing me in the side.

Tiny gave Paige a hard look. "What?" he said back in a gravelly voice.

Paige straightened up and cleared her throat. "Nothing." That's when I snorted in laughter. But the best was yet to come.

Tiny turned to Natalie. "Can you run and get Jericho, Midnight and Tonto ready?"

Natalie got a confused look on her face. "Tonto?" Tiny nodded his head and flicked his eyes to Paige. "Yep, Tonto. We'll be over in a few minutes."

Tiny led us to three horses tied to a fencepost. One was white with tan spots near his neck and backside. Tiny patted him on the rump, "This is Jericho, my horse." He next pointed to an all black horse with a white diamond on his nose. He was beautiful. "This one here is Midnight. He's yours," Tiny said while pointing to me. Next he stepped up to a small pony and ran his hand along its mane. "This is Tonto, he's all yours," Tiny said with a look to Paige.

Paige crossed her arms and said with a smirk, "You can't be serious?"

"Course' I am. Skinny little thing like you will be just fine with Tonto." He clapped Paige on the back which made her lose her balance a little. "Come on ladies, we've got a trail to hit."

Tiny showed us the basics and went through safety procedures. "Midnight and Tonto haven't been out yet today so they should be well rested for our one hour ride."

"An hour seems short," Paige remarked.

"Not for beginners like you. An hour in the saddle and you'll be ready to get your feet back on land," Tiny explained.

"Why, do people get motion sick or something?" Paige asked, a little concerned.

"Umm, no. Umm, you're uh…southern region…uh…might get a little sore," Tiny said bashfully.

"Southern region?" Paige said looking down. She caught on and her cheeks reddened. "Oh."

I leaned over to whisper in Paige's ear. "I've got plans for your southern region tonight," I kissed Paige quickly. "So let's do as Tiny says." I laughed when Paige's eyes widened at the realization of what I just revealed.

The three of us mounted our horses, or pony in Paige's case, and started for the trail. Tiny would lead with me behind him and Paige following after me. I looked back when I didn't hear Tonto walking behind me.

I laughed at what I saw. Paige was pulling on the reigns and nudging Tonto in the side trying to get him to move. She dropped the reigns and looked up yelling at us, "He won't move." She tugged the reigns again, "Mine is broken!"

Tiny didn't even look back. He just whistled and hollered, "Gid' up, Tonto," and sure enough, Tonto started forward. Paige sat there with a scowl on her face and her arms crossed. I doubled over in laughter.

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I was spending a small fortune this weekend but it was worth it. There is no one on this earth I'd rather spend my birthday with than Paige. I hired Miranda, the chef of a local catering company, for the night to prepare our dinner. I had given her the security code to the cabin and by the time Paige and I arrived back there she was in the kitchen preparing ingredients for dinner.

Paige insisted that we get ready in separate bedrooms so we'd see each other for the first time on the back porch at the dinner table. She was also adamant that she get ready in the master bedroom. I conceded and went to the smaller room across the hall taking all of my stuff with me.

I showered, fixed my hair, put on my black lace dress and applied my Burberry perfume in all the right places. I'm a little nervous for tonight. It's more an excited nervousness. I'm nervous because I've never had sex before and I'm excited because…well, I've never had sex before.

I was the first of us to make it out to the back porch. Miranda sat the table: white linens, white china with a silver ring around the outside, polished silver cutlery, crystal water and wine glasses and in the middle of the table, three tiered silver candle holders with white candles already lit. In the background the orange glow of the setting sun lit the lake ablaze with its reflection.

When Paige walked through the French doors I stood but was so stunned by how good she looked that I couldn't speak. She was gorgeous. The black slim fit ankle length tuxedo pants I brought hugged her legs exquisitely. The light blue tailored linen button-down shirt complimented Paige's tan and was unbuttoned to beneath her black vest. That vest, good God, it clung to her body accentuating her tight abdomen and heaving chest. She left the top button of the vest undone and her boobs looked like they were trying to break free of the constraint._ That'd be fine by me_ I thought to myself.

Paige walked up and kissed my cheek. "Happy birthday, Em. You are breathtaking."

"You're fucking hot," I blurted out. So much for being demure about it. Paige gave me that adorable crooked grin and pulled out my chair for me to be seated.

Dinner was phenomenal but I made sure not to overdo it. Paige and I both like carrot cake so I had Miranda make one that said "Happy Birthday Paige and Emily" on it. She brought it out with two candles on top and Paige and I blew them out. Miranda let me know she'd be a few more minutes cleaning up the kitchen and would see herself out.

After we were both done with our slices of cake, Paige reached for my hand and rubbed her thumb gently over my palm. "Is it ok if I give you your birthday present now?" she asked.

I nodded my head eagerly. "OK. Well, it's upstairs so you'll have to follow me," Paige said as she stood and pulled me with her.

When we walked into the bedroom I audibly gasped. So this is why Paige wanted me out. The lights were off but the room was filled with the soft luminance from at least 10 candles scattered throughout the room. "It's beautiful, Paige. Where did you get all of these candles?" _Where did she get them? She didn't even know we were coming here._

She pulled me further into the room while explaining, "While you were in the shower I scavenged every candle I could find in this place."

Paige reached into the drawer of the nightstand and pulled out a medium-sized black velvet rectangular case. "For you," she said while handing it to me. "Happy birthday."

I opened the case slowly, revealing a white gold chain with a pendent hanging from it. "It's beautiful, Paige. Thank you." I kissed her soundly on the lips and looked back to the necklace. The pendant was a white gold cut out circle, about the size of a quarter, with a swirling design hanging in the middle. I brushed my finger across the design. "This design is lovely."

"It's a Celtic love knot," Paige explained. "The design in the middle, if you look closely, is a heart with another upside down heart entwined with it." I looked down and saw the hearts revealed to me now. Paige continued, "Grandma McCullers has a charm bracelet from my grandpa with this symbol on it. It's the symbol for love between two people. He gave it to her on their second date and told her he knew the first time he ever laid eyes on her that she was the girl for him."

Paige reached for my free hand. "I always loved that story and hoped one day I'd be that lucky. I think I am now." She looked down to the floor then back up into my eyes. "I love you, Emily."

My eyes filled with tears. "I love you too, Paige. I am so in love with you." I kissed her hard as tears of joy ran down my cheeks. I pulled away briefly and lifted the necklace towards her, "Put it on for me?"

Paige unclasped the necklace and I turned around so she could put it on. She brought it around the front of my neck and held it in back with one hand. With the other, she gently brushed the hair from my back and let her fingers graze my skin as she did so. My flesh broke out in goose bumps and I shivered. I jolt of arousal went straight to my core.

Paige began kissing the back of my neck and ran the backs of her fingertips up arms to my shoulders. Who knew a simple touch could be so sexual. She pulled the left strap of my dress down a little and kissed along the top of my shoulder. I leaned my head to the right and moaned.

I quickly spun in her arms and pulled her to me, kissing her with passionate abandon. My hands moved up her abdomen to her breasts where I squeezed both in my palms. Paige sucked in a breath. "God, your boobs look gorgeous in this vest…but I'm more interested in taking it OFF," I said as I started to undo each button then moved to the buttons on her shirt. While I was doing that, Paige ran her hands down my back to the zipper of my dress. Once she got it all the way unzipped she slipped her hands inside and cupped my ass cheeks, lifting me up.

Paige carried me to the bed and laid me down. I scooted up so my head was on the pillows. Paige settled herself on top of me and kissed me first on the forehead, then both cheeks then the mouth, parting my lips with her tongue. She broke the kiss and ran her fingers over the necklace then looked back into my eyes.

I nodded my head and Paige sat back on her knees, pulling my dress completely off. I couldn't wear a bra with this dress so half of the work was already done. Paige moved back up to kiss me then whispered in my ear. "You are beautiful. I love you." She began kissing down my body, sucking, biting and licking each nipple while kneading the other. While she did that, her free hand smoothed over my contracting stomach muscles and trailed down to my center. She began circling my clit over the purple lace panties, the lace adding even more friction. My breathing was becoming ragged and my moans were interlaced with groans of "Oh my God." My hips rotated in time to Paige's talented fingers without my control. I could already feel a coil twisting in my belly and it wouldn't be long until it snapped.

Paige circled my belly button with her tongue and briefly dipped it in side. I twitched and pleaded, "Paige, please," in a strangled whisper.

She hovered over my center and hooked two fingers into the waist of my panties and pulled them off. Paige kissed and caressed her way up both legs until she was back to hovering over my wetness. I raised my hips, trying to get closer to her mouth. That's when she gave me the first lick and ran her tongue from my opening all the way to my clit, adding a little more pressure when she got there.

I dropped back to the bed and yelled out something, I don't even know what. Paige focused on my clit alternating between licking, sucking and gentle bites. I was coming undone by that point. I had never felt anything so much in my life. Every nerve in my body was focused on one point, where Paige was between my thighs. I needed something to do with my hands so I tangled them in Paige's hair.

Paige left my clit and began teasing my entrance with her tongue. "Oh fuck," I screamed out. Paige looked up to me and smiled. Then she covered my clit with her tongue again, inserted one finger and began slowly moving in and out. My eyes rolled back. Once she could tell I was used to that she inserted another and my eyes nearly popped out of my head. She began thrusting in and out, picking up the pace, while curing her fingers against my walls. She hit my sweet spot and I arched off the bed. "Right. Fucking. There!" As if she couldn't tell.

And so she set a merciless rhythm. It wasn't long before I was shaking and screaming her name as my walls clenched her fingers tightly, and I had the most mind blowing orgasm I'd ever thought possible.

I could feel Paige kissing tenderly back up my body. She lay down next to me and pulled me to her. I felt like a wet noodle: all slick and slack. I couldn't move. My heart was racing. My muscles felt overused. Aftershocks were still pulsating through my core. Just as my eyes closed over I said, "I love you, Paige," and drifted off to paradise in her arms.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

I woke up, stretching my arms above my head and flexing my legs and toes. Every muscle felt gloriously worked over. I don't even remember falling asleep. The last thing I can recall is Paige taking me to a place of ecstasy that I've never known before. Paige rocked my world, as cliché as that sounds.

_Paige!_ Dammit, I sure got last night but I didn't stay awake long enough to give anything in return. Just thinking about how she played my body so expertly makes me tingle all over with the majority settling as butterflies in my stomach then radiating through my center.

I reached up to touch the beautiful necklace that Paige gave me for my birthday. Last night feels like a dream. The kind of dream you pray you don't wake up from because real life surely cannot be this good. But it is. Paige is in love with me. I am in love with her. For the first time in my life I know what it is like to love and be cherished by someone and return those feelings in kind.

Paige's face is buried in the valley between our two pillows. Her left hand is resting on my bare stomach. At some point last night Paige removed her clothes as well and her body is exposed from mid-back and up. Her right leg is bent and hooked over the sheet exposed as well. It's so simple to see her in this way but for some reason I almost feel moved to tears by the beauty of this moment.

I smile to myself, poking fun at my own wandering thoughts and emotional state. I don't want to wake Paige up, but I cannot keep my hands to myself any longer. I lift Paige's hand from my stomach and kiss each finger gently then open her hand and kiss her palm. No movement from her yet. Next I sit up and lean over her, running my fingers along the back of her exposed leg. I start at her Achilles and run slowly all the way up to where her hamstring meets her lower butt cheek. I take the same path again, this time kissing my way up. Paige stirs just enough to let me know she's vaguely aware of what's happening.

That's not good enough for me. I woke raring and ready to go again and I want to show Paige just how much I love her. When Paige moved a few seconds ago the sheet covering her back slid down just enough to hit right at her tail bone. I quickly straddled her waist and kissed from the dip in her lower back up her spinal column to the base of her neck. Next I repeated the same path again, this time running the tip of my nose up while breathing hotly on her skin. Goose bumps broke out along Paige's flesh.

I threw my pillow off the bed so I could see Paige's face and get better access to her neck and ear. I left wet kisses along her, jaw line, neck and shoulder then moved to her ear. I whispered, "Paige, it's time to wake up." As I leaned into her my breasts grazed her back. Just that simple touch sent sparks through my body.

"Mmmm," she mumbled into the mattress. I bit on her earlobe and tugged. A smile graced her features then. "Good morning," she said in a sleep filled voice.

I pinched her ass then rubbed over the mark. "It will be, when you roll over."

I lifted my body, letting Paige roll over on to her back as instructed. "Oh really, why is tha-"

I didn't let her finish before I crashed our lips together in a hungry kiss. I ran my hands down her sides, kneading the tight oblique muscles on each side of her torso. Paige gasped when I pulled apart from the kiss and ran my tongue down the valley between her breasts. Her boobs were teasing me all night long in that vest and I couldn't wait to tease them back.

I gave each one equal attention alternating between sucking, licking and running my teeth over her nipples in turn. Paige's breathing was becoming more ragged with each new touch and her moans were filling the room. I conveniently place my knee up against Paige's increasingly wet center. She rocked against it as pleasure built like an inferno within her. "Fuck, Em," she rasped out. And that's why I took my cue. I stretched my body down the length of hers letting all of our most intimate parts melt together. I skirted my hand down her lean torso until I reached her eager clit. I rubbed circles around it with my thumb while my middle finger ghosted over her entrance.

Paige's hips were gyrating in sequence with my movements. We were moving together perfectly in a dance that was meant only for us. I quickly inserted two fingers and pounded into her while she screamed for me. Then I slowed it down and curled my fingers with each withdrawal.

"Fuck, Paige," I screamed out for no other reason than I wanted her so badly. It was amazing to see this gorgeous girl come undone below me. I wanted to taste her, but not yet…later. Right now I wanted, no I NEEDED, to stay at eye level with her to gaze into those lust filled dark chocolate eyes. They are the window to her soul and I wanted to feel that connection with her. I needed to see the pleasure, lust and love that shined in her eyes.

It wasn't long before Paige's whole body was twitching and shaking and she was screaming my name as her walls tightened and held my fingers in place inside of her.

I originally thought maybe Paige and I could spend the rest of the day, before we had to drive back to Philadelphia, down at the lake. That was before I knew what it was like to spend all day in bed with Paige…or in the shower. And can I just say…shower sex…um, yeah. No way are we leaving this cabin until we absolutely have to.

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Four days after we got back from the Poconos I got an urgent text from Paige. **Can you Skype tonight? I need to talk to you.**

Wonder what that's about. **Sure. Or I'm free now if you want to call me.**

**No, don't want to talk about it over the phone. Skype at 7:30?**

**Ok. ** Well that doesn't make me nervous at all.

7:30 couldn't have come fast enough. As soon as I saw Paige's face on the screen I asked her what is wrong. It wasn't until then that I noticed she is smiling; she is happy about something.

"Nothing is wrong," Paige confirmed. "Everything is pretty great, actually."

"Come on, Paige out with it already. You're killin' me Smalls." 

Paige laughed. "I had a really long Skype chat with my parents last night."

"Okay…" I trailed off waiting for her to keep going.

"I told them, Em. They know everything," Paige said with a huge smile on her face.

"Know everything about what?" I'm lost here.

"Me. Us. I came out to them. They know I'm gay. They know you're my girlfriend. They know I am hopelessly in love with you. I knew when I found someone special I would tell them, and here you are, so I told them."

_Oh my, God._ Paige has been talking a lot lately about wanting to tell her parents but I wasn't expecting it now. She's taken me by surprise. "Wow, Paige. That's great! I had no idea you were going to do that last night."

Paige nodded her head. "I know; it just kind of happened. I can't describe what this feels like, Emily. It's fantastic. It's like I am authentically me for the first time ever. Do you know how that makes me feel?"

"No, I don't," I say solemnly, looking down and picking at an imaginary piece of lint off my shirt.

"Don't worry, Em. You will soon and then you'll feel just as great about it as I do."

"Yeah." I moved on knowing this conversation was not about me. "So how did they take it? Must have been fairly well."

"Better than I expected. Mom said she had a 'mother's intuition,'" Paige said with air quotes, "and said she knew already and was just waiting for me to tell them."

"And your dad?" I pushed.

"He didn't say much until I told them about you. Even then he kept his thoughts mostly to himself, but he did say that he happened to check your high school swimming stats and that you were a great athlete and should have been Olympic bound if not for your shoulder injury." Paige rolled her eyes. "I know, but that's my dad for ya."

"So they don't hate me for being your girlfriend masquerading as a friend?"

Paige laughed again. "What? No. You're silly but I love you."

"I love you too, Paige. I really am so happy for you."

I thought about everything Paige and I talked about as I lay in bed that night. I was happy for her…though for us I was nervous. Paige is out to everyone now and I'm not. I want to be. But wanting and doing are two totally separate things. It's the doing that has me knotted up inside. Before now I felt that Paige and I were walking the same path together, side by side. I can't help the uneasiness that settles over me because now she's two steps ahead of me and gaining ground.

**A/N: Please tell me you know the "you're killin' me Smalls" reference.**

**And I'm just going to say it before anyone else does…I know, I know…"Come out already, Emily!" But that's an important part of the story coming up…relatively soon.**


	24. Chapter 24

"**You're killin' me, Smalls" is an iconic quote from the movie **_**The Sandlot. **_**I don't know if it's in the 2****nd ****; I've never seen that one, but I do know it's in the 1****st****.**

**Funny story, the day after I posted that chapter I had to text a friend to say that I couldn't end up making it to dinner that night because I had to film an interview. The reply I got back said: **_**"you're killin' me Smalls."**_** So yeah, it's a thing people say.**

**Chapter 24**

I've been looking forward to this trip for a few weeks now. I've never been to Nashville, Tennessee. (_I know, right?)_ I'll be spending the next four days in the Music City. Chelsea was able to arrange working this game too so we'll get to hang out together which always helps. She's from here so I'm looking forward to the hometown tour once our business is settled. Paige was supposed to make the four hour drive here but something came up with work that she couldn't get out of. I understand but I am still disappointed. I was looking forward to seeing her.

I'm in town for the Titans versus Saints game. There is a lot of media buzz over this game. Not so much for the game itself but for the record-breaking offensive superstar of the Titans, Max Detweiler. There have been rumors surrounding the second year starter that he's looking to break contract and accept other offers from higher ranking teams. The NFL, Titans, Max's agent, and player union have been taking calls from media for the past few weeks. Max is scheduled to make an official announcement after Sunday's game, which is my main reason for being here.

I can't get over how at home I feel in this city. It's really quite beautiful with the rolling hills and picturesque scenery. Nashville is your quintessential big city with a small town attitude. It seems like there is something for everyone here. Sure, Nashville is the Music City, but it's much, much more than that. There's great universities, world renowned healthcare and research facilities, company empires, a diverse playground for the outdoorsman or getaway for the weekend warrior.

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Sunday's football game and following press conference went really well. The press room at the stadium was standing room only for Max's media call. I spent yesterday wrapping up loose ends and preparing my reports. Today is all about what I want to do. I rarely get to build in a leisure day when I travel for work, and I plan to take full advantage of the opportunity.

Chelsea wanted to show me around her old stomping grounds in Franklin, TN. It's just south of Nashville but feels like a world away. Today we're spending time in Historic Downtown Franklin. Many of the homes and buildings here date back to the Civil War era with those structures that made it through the Battle of Franklin still standing today.

We parked near the roundabout at Main Street and already I could tell I was going to love it here. Surrounding us are Victorian buildings, vintage lamp posts, quaint store fronts and brick streets. "It's lovely," I said to Chelsea as I spun in a circle taking in the charm around us.

"Thanks, I really love it here," Chelsea said after a deep breath. She hooked her arm through mine and led me down Main Street. "OK, Em, get ready 'cause we've got a long day ahead of us," Chelsea said excitedly. "Are you ready for unique boutiques, antique shops, art galleries…?"

I laughed at her display and eagerness. "Sorry, hometown pride," Chelsea said while shrugging her shoulders and giving me a bright smile. I can tell how happy she is to be home.

So far we've been in all-natural soap and candle shops; a candy store where I had the best chocolate covered caramels that I've ever had in my life; a southern inspired gift shop where I bought a fluffy throw pillow for Paige's bed that said "Girls do it rowdy in the South." About halfway up Main Street we ran across a store called Wessex & Rye. I halted as soon as I walked past the large windows.

I grabbed Chelsea's arm to stop her. "Wait, I have to go in here."

She followed me inside. It's a furniture store, but unlike one I've been to before. Each piece was unique, hand-crafted and made of thick, sturdy wood. There was everything from dining tables, armoires, corner bars, sofa tables, bar stools, television consoles. I was close to having complete consumer overload. I wanted everything my eyes landed on. It's like when you're hungry and you're sitting at a restaurant and literally everything on the menu seems mouthwatering.

We walked up the stairs to the second floor to look around a bit more. I heard feet shuffling as someone approached behind us. "Can I help you ladies with anything?" I turned around to see an older gentleman dressed in baggy khaki pants held up with suspenders, a plaid button down shirt, brown loafers, and glasses secured by a cord that was slung around his neck. The glasses were resting on top of his head.

"We were admiring this beautiful furniture," I responded back to him. "I've never seen anything like it."

"You won't anyplace else. I get all of this from a fellow in North Carolina. Makes everything by hand. You'll never find anything of this quality at those chain stores," he remarked with pride.

Just then something caught Chelsea's attention. "Cool! Emily, look at those badass barstools," she said pointing to two pieces in one corner of the room.

I walked over to where she was pointing. I gestured towards them, "You mean these? These are end tables." She was right, they really were cool. There were four legs that slightly bowed out. On top of the legs was a square, flat surface made of four pieces of wood that resembled the same material of the legs. Between the legs was a round circle made of tarnished brass.

"What? No, these are barstools," Chelsea sat on one trying to make her point.

I sat a few knickknacks on the other one. "No, it's a table, see? Besides, they are too low to be barstools."

"They are too high to be end tables." Chelsea looked to the owner of the shop. "Sir, will you tell her these are barstools?"

"You can call me Warren." He looked between the two of us deciding which way to go. Finally he compromised, "They can be whatever you want them to be. That's the beauty of it. Did you notice it's made of the wood from a wine barrel?"

Hmmm, now that Warren mentions it, this does look like the slats of a wine barrel. "Same guy I was telling you about made these. He makes a lot of stuff out of old wine barrels and materials like that. Let me show you this wine rack he made."

I loved the wine rack. In fact, I ended up buying it and the END TABLES and having him ship them to me in Philadelphia. By the time we left Wessex & Rye Chelsea and I were starving. We went to her favorite little restaurant a block over from Main Street.

"You want me to try what," I asked as I looked at Chelsea over my menu.

"Chicken and waffles. You have to get it."

"So it's fried chicken, on top of waffles, with maple syrup?" Chelsea nodded her head in confirmation. "No thanks, I think I'll have the chicken salad."

"You're not allowed. You said you wanted the true experience so you're having chicken and waffles," Chelsea said while taking my menu. "I would not steer you wrong. If you don't like it you can order whatever you want after you give it a chance."

You know, surprisingly the chicken and waffles was pretty good. At first I tried to eat just the chicken then the waffles. Chelsea had none of that. She cut it all up together and made me try everything mixed. She was right, that was better. I don't know why it works together, it just does.

The last shop we went in was called Philanthropy. It is a clothing store with a heart. Their business model is to sell unique clothes and accessories that keep the modern consumer current and conscious of their positive impact on others. A percentage of all sales go to local and global charities. And 100 percent of some items are sent directly to the charity of choice. I found so many cute clothes in there and I knew no one back home would have anything like it. One table of colorful jewelry caught my eyes. It was made by kids at an orphanage in Haiti. For each item purchased at this table the orphanage would get all proceeds. I bought a bracelet for me, all of my Rosewood friends, Paige, my mom and Chelsea. I loved this store and their mission.

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By the time Chelsea and I made it to the hotel in downtown Nashville my feet hurt and I wanted to take a shower. I would have just enough time to sit for a bit and get ready before Chelsea and I caught the shuttle from our hotel to Broadway and the restaurants, bars and clubs waiting for us there.

We were having a great time. People were spilling out of bars and walking from one place to another. I took a picture with an Elvis statue outside of one of the bars. People were huddled in masses around musicians singing on street corners, hoping to make a little money and advance their career.

Suddenly Chelsea screamed, "I love this place," and pulled me by the arm into a bar called _Southern Belle's._ I looked around the packed room. There sure are a lot of females in here; a lot of them are dancing together. _Oh!_ Chelsea must have caught me looking. "We don't have to stay."

"No, no, it's OK." _Totally, TOTALLY ok._

We danced, we talked, we sang along to the songs thumping through the speakers. I've needed a night out like this for a long time. Chelsea has become a really good friend.

I felt my phone vibrating in my back pocket and removed it, noticing Paige was calling me. "Paige, hi," I yelled into the phone. She said something I couldn't quite hear. "What, I can't hear you….oh, I wish you were here too…yeah, I'm at a bar with Chels….I miss you, Paige…Ok…I'll call you tomorrow….you too." Before Paige hung up she told me she loved me. We always end our calls like that but with Chelsea sitting here I couldn't say it back.

I looked up to Chelsea after I put my phone back in my pocket. "Sorry, that was Paige. She told me to tell you hi."

"Too bad she couldn't make it," Chelsea said with sincerity.

"I know, I was looking forward to seeing her," I said, looking down to the table we were sitting at.

I could tell Chelsea wanted to say something but was holding back. Finally she went for it. "Can I ask you a question?" I nodded my head. "How long have you and Paige been together?"

_Did she just ask me that?_ I ran through what she said again in my head. Yes, she did. She just asked how long Paige and I have been together. "Wha..wha," I stammered. "What do you mean? Why do you think we are togeth-"

Chelsea rolled her eyes and pinned me with a look before cutting me off. "Emily, it's obvious. You gush about her all the time. You just turned to putty before my eyes when she called. You can tell me of all people. I mean, hello, Addie and I...you don't have anything to hide from me."

This is my chance, finally, to tell someone. "We've been together for five months now. You're right, she's my girlfriend; I'm gay." I brought my right hand up to tuck some stray hair behind my ear. As I do I notice that my hand is slightly shaking. "You're the first person I've ever told."

"Is Paige your first girlfriend?"

"Yes and we live 800 miles apart. Most of our relationship has been long distance. And I'm not out…so maybe not the best circumstances."

"Then none of your friends from back home or your family knows?" I shook my head. "Do you want to talk about it? What holding you up?"

_Several things_ I think to myself. It will feel good to get it out to someone and especially someone who might be able to relate to some degree. I tell Chelsea how at first I didn't want to come out because I wanted to give myself time to make certain this is what I wanted, who I am. Then I became so worried about what my parents will think, what my friends will think, how my life could change and not knowing if the changes will be positive or negative. I tell her that Paige has been pressuring me for a month or so now to at least tell my friends. If anything it's caused me to retreat into myself rather than push me forward. I admit to Chelsea that I don't want to tell them until I tell my parents. I think they deserve to hear it first but that it's hard to get them together and it's rare that I see them now. It will take a planned trip to do it because I want to tell them face-to-face. And my dad absolutely HAS to be there. Perhaps these are excuses; but they are valid to me. I confess that there is so much going on in my head. Paige has been saying a lot lately, since my birthday, that she thinks I'm the one. She'd like us to get married some day, have a family, talks about what our lives will be like as we grow old together. I agree, it sounds like a dream but I feel overwhelmed at times.

Chelsea listened as I poured my heart out. Finally she said, "Do you love Paige?"

"Yes, I love her with all my heart."

"Emily, I can't give you all of the answers, but as your friend, I'm certainly here to listen and offer advice, if you want it?" I didn't object so Chelsea continued. "Don't let anyone rush you into coming out. I've had a lot of friends go through this and I myself have. It's not about Paige or your friends or your family. This is about you. No persons circumstances are the same so don't ever compare your timetable to anyone else's and don't let anyone else do that to you. If you feel like Paige is pushing you and it makes you uncomfortable then you need to tell her."

"But what if that pushes her away? I can't lose her, Chelsea." And there you have all of my fears rolled into one. If I tell Paige that I'm not ready, and that I'm not sure when I will be, I'm almost certain I'll lose her.

"That's a risk you'd have to take. If you come out just for Paige, before you're ready, or in a way you don't want to, you'll only end up resenting her for it."

"As far as the distance, you're just going to have to take that one day at a time. Even when you come out the distance is still a major deal. If you do want a future with Paige one of you will have to make a sacrifice for the other."

I sighed deeply. "Paige told me she loves me right before we hung up. I didn't say it back because you were sitting here. That's first time I've ever done that." I could tell it bothered Paige.

"What are you waiting for? Call her back," Chelsea said, pointing towards my waist hinting at the phone in my back pocket.

I dialed Paige as quickly as I could. She picked up after one ring. "Paige, I love you honey," I said with a big smile and looked over to Chelsea. She gave me a thumbs up.

Tonight may have been a tiny baby step or perhaps more of a crawl, but at least it was movement. And getting my concerns, hesitations, and fears out to Chelsea has helped somewhat relieve my near constant churning thoughts. I've never admitted this to Paige but it's been wearing on my lately.

**A/N: Go to Franklin if you get the chance. Sadly, Wessex & Rye isn't open anymore (but they were the year we are at in this story). There and Philanthropy are the only real places I've referenced in this chapter; I just couldn't exclude them. Everything else is made up for the fic.**


	25. Chapter 25

**Thank You..you don't have to take the time to read this or take that extra step to review and such, but you do, and that is awesome.**

**To the Nashville Guest- you are welcome! Nashville is, well it just IS. I'm there so much and it's everything I love so I had to include it. Glad you enjoyed reading about your hometown. I hope I did it some justice.**

**Hold on tight through the end of this chapter.**

**Chapter 25**

"Tell me again why your parents are leaving town for Thanksgiving?" I asked Paige. She and I are on the phone going over the details for the week of Thanksgiving. Paige will be in Philadelphia for a few days prior to the holiday to celebrate with her parents.

"My dad's office in San Francisco organizes a Thanksgiving meal delivery program through the food shelter. He and mom fly out for it every year."

I'm impressed by Nick and Clare McCullers' generosity. "That's really nice. Do you ever go with them?"

"I have; I enjoy going. But this year I have something more important keeping me home."

I get what she's implying, but I selfishly want to hear her say it. "Oh yeah? What's that?"

"The Black Friday sales," Paige deadpans. My mouth drops open. "You of course," Paige said with dramatics. She knows what I want to hear. I love how well we know each other.

"Good because it wouldn't be Thanksgiving this year without having the one thing I'm most thankful for with me." I clarify after a beat just so she understands, "You, Paige."

"We're so damn cute I don't know how we stand it," Paige says with a laugh. I laugh along with her.

Paige and I went through details of the Thanksgiving celebrations: what time I needed to be at her parents' house, what I should bring, when Paige would be going with me to my parent's house then ended the call.

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I seem to remember a similar feeling the first time I walked up the stone path to the McCullers' front door. I was nervous to meet Paige's parents as a "friend" then. Imagine how I feel now coming back as her known girlfriend. The first ever official girlfriend her parents have met. Sure they knew Becca, and maybe others before her, but they didn't know any of those girls were her girlfriends.

Paige kept assuring me things would be fine. Her parents support her and are excited to see me again. She also said things with her dad are going much better now. Apparently her mom had a deep conversation with Nick and laid down the law.

Clare greeted me at the door with open arms. "Emily, I'm so glad you could come. Thank you for adapting to our crazy holiday schedule."

I walked into the large foyer and returned Clare's hug with one arm. In the other I held a homemade pie. "Thank you for inviting me." I held out the pie dish covered in foil. "I brought this."

"How nice. Let's take it into the kitchen. It will distract Nick from trying to dig in to the turkey early."

Paige was in the kitchen when we walked in taking a baking sheet of rolls out of the oven. She sat down the sheet and removed the oven mitt before coming over to me. She wrapped me in a hug and kissed my cheek, "I'm so happy you're here."

I looked over to Clare to gauge her reaction at seeing Paige kiss me and surprisingly I saw none. She must have sensed my apprehension. "Emily, I want you to know how highly Nick and I think of you. Paige seems very happy, and for that we are happy as well."

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. "Thank you, Clare. To be honest I've been a little nervous about coming." I suddenly caught how that could have sounded. "It's just…I don't know how to say this without it sounding like I assume the worst of you…I guess you know, I just want you to know I'm the same girl you met before but now you know I'm your daughters girlfriend…"

Clare came up to me and rested her hand on my shoulder. "Emily, I understand, and you have nothing to worry about. Having Thanksgiving dinner with my daughter's girlfriend is something I'll admit I had not considered I'd ever do but you are more than welcome."

Clare started walking back towards the stove to stir the pot of green beans. "In our house we've learned to expect the unexpected at Thanksgiving. Has Paige never told you?" I shook my head no.

Paige groaned. "Why? Why always with the embarrassing stories?" Apparently she knew what was coming.

Nick walked in, said hello, and grabbed a slice of turkey from the serving dish being kept warm on the stove. Clare slapped his hand. "Embarrassing stories? I came in just in time," Nick said with a wide, inviting smile.

Clare looked up from the pot to her daughter, smiled and kept going. "You know I've told you before what a handful Paige could be as a child. Well, she can be quite passionate about things she believes in too."

"You got that right," I confirmed. Nick laughed out loud.

"Oh, so you're going to gang up on me now," Paige teased with a jab to my side.

Clare continued with her tale. "In first grade Paige really started showing her creative side. She'd come up with these skits to perform and characters to emulate. Paige had just learned about the Native Americans and how they taught the Pilgrims to farm so on Thanksgiving Day she comes marching into the kitchen dressed as Squanto."

"Who?" I asked with a laugh and looked at Paige.

"Hey, don't make fun. Squanto helped make possible why we're gathered here today," she said, spreading her arms around the kitchen. "He knew English and taught the Pilgrims how to farm the soil."

"Anyway, here is Paige, I mean Squanto, dressed as a Native American, or as close as she could get to what she saw through pictures in her schoolbook, and absolutely insisted that Nick and I play the part of Pilgrims at the feast."

"You have not lived until you play the part of a Pilgrim to little Miss Paige McCullers' Squanto, I assure you," Nick said with a chuckle.

I threw my head back in laughter. I could vividly see little Paige McCullers sitting at the dining room table playing this part talking to her parents like they were Pilgrims. Paige pouted, of course, to which I gave her a quick hug. "Tell me more," I said excitedly to Clare.

"Then there was two years later in third grade when she really learned all about the First Thanksgiving. She came home from school lamenting about how we do it ALL wrong and the modern Thanksgiving is 'NOTHING like it was back then. We don't eat the correct food; there was no turkey then, they didn't eat potatoes, we should grow our own corn.' And 'don't call them Pilgrims,' she insisted. 'They called themselves Puritans' and on and on she went."

"Paige, you're adorable," I kissed her cheek. "I feel like Spencer's mom probably has a very similar story to this one."

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"Emily, this dutch apple pie is amazing. You are quite the baker," Clare said after taking the last bite of her pie.

"Thank you but don't give me too much credit," I say, modestly. "I'll admit, not everything I make is edible."

Nick looked up from his plate. "Sounds like there is a story there."

"Yes, do tell," Paige said leaning her arms against the table in anticipation. "It's only fair we get to hear stories about you too since you know all about me as Squanto and such."

"Well, the most obvious example I can think of was when I was in high school. I worked at this café as a barista. I wanted to make a few extra bucks so I volunteered to cater an event when the guy my boss hired quit last minute."

Clare looked up with a knowing look in her eyes, "Uh, oh.."

"Yes, uh oh. I was adamant that I could handle the job. My mom was in Texas that weekend visiting my dad so I had to call her every five to ten minutes asking for advice and step-by-step directions. It was a nightmare. Nothing was going the way it should, I made a complete mess of the kitchen, I wore half the ingredients on my clothes, and my hair was falling out of my ponytail."

Paige started laughing. "I can so picture this in my head right now."

"Turns out Emily's Empanadas were not the hit of the party. I practically had to force feed my friends after they found my hair in one and actually said to them, 'eat around it.' Needless to say I learned a lesson in humility that day, and I haven't made an empanada since."

Paige and Clare got a good laugh. I looked over to Nick who was digging his fork through his slice of pie inspecting it. He caught me looking, blushed, and set down his fork.

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Paige told her parents that she was going to stay at my place that night. If they had any objections about it or thoughts one way or another they didn't voice them. I for one was glad to know that I'd have my girlfriend in my bed tonight.

"Paige, what are you thankful for?" I asked as we walked in the door to my townhouse and we both slipped off our shoes.

She started kissing my neck and mumbled, "I'm thankful that Spencer is in Rosewood this week doing a case study with her dad's law firm."

I was glad for that too but I was actually being serious. I pulled away, "No, I mean really. I've had a lot on my mind lately and with Thanksgiving a few days away one thing I've really been thinking about is gratitude for what is good in my life. I'd like to know your thoughts."

"Em, I haven't seen you in over a month. I'm ready to climb you like a spider monkey. Are we really gonna do this right now?"

I thought of a way to get what we both really want. "Tell you what, let's make this interesting. Here are the rules: for each thing we say we're thankful for we get to remove one item of the other person's clothes. We don't go any further until everything is off."

"Deal. Me first." Paige stepped towards me as she said, "I am thankful you gave me chance." She pulled my sweater over my head and kissed down the column of my neck then sucked and grazed her teeth along my right collarbone.

This was a fucking good idea. I began to unbutton Paige's black silk shirt while I said, "I am thankful for your love and kind spirit." I slid the shirt down Paige's arms while I kissed her hard on the mouth.

Paige broke from the kiss and hungrily ran her hands up my hamstrings, stroked my butt, then continued up to the zipper of my skirt and started to unzip. She whispered sensually into my ear, "I'm beyond thankful that you wore skirt tonight." She let the skirt fall to the ground, running her hands around the back of my thighs as she eased the garment down.

Paige expected my hands to go to her waist to unbutton her jeans and pull them down her long, lean legs. But I had another idea. I unhooked her bra and let it fall to the floor at our feet. I licked my lips then took both of her breasts in my hands and ran the pads of my thumbs over the hardened nipples. "I am thankful for frequent flyer miles so I can visit my smoking hot girlfriend."

The looks we are giving each other can only be described as fuck me eyes. Paige is in her jeans and panties. I am in my bra and panties. Just four articles of clothing remaining between us and ecstasy.

Paige moaned and immediately dropped to her knees. "Fuck it," she growled out. She tore off my white lace panties and said, "I'm thankful rules are meant to be broken," and buried her face between my thighs.

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Paige and I walked into the Rosewood Women's Shelter to help serve the Thanksgiving meal to residents there during the holiday. I knew how much Paige liked doing this with her parents when she went to San Fran so I thought this would be a good consolation this year.

Needless to say, we got a little "sidetracked" this morning and were running late to hit the road. We had just enough time to drive into town for our shift in the meal line at the shelter.

Paige was in her element. She seemed to connect with each woman who came through on a truly personal level. Her smile was infectious and put everyone at ease. I kissed her cheek, "Paige, you are so sweet. I love you so much."

"I love you too. This is the least we can do, you know?" Paige looked me in the eyes with sincerity. "I've always been pretty fortunate, and I've never taken that for granted. I just think it's important to be there to lift people up in their times of need. If I can spare a few hours of my time then I give it willingly."

A few hours later Paige and I were driving to my parents' house. Paige had to get back to Philadelphia that night for an early flight to Atlanta the next day so this would be a quick trip.

Paige was fidgeting constantly in her seat next to me. "Babe, why are you so nervous? You've already met my mom. It went fine."

Paige set forth with a barrage of questions and concerns about meeting my dad, Lt. Colonel Fields. "What should I do when I meet your dad? Do I salute? What do I call him? Am I dressed ok? Will he be in uniform? Maybe I should have shined my shoes."

I reached across the center console and patted her knee. "Paige, relax. My dad is just another human being, OK? Don't salute him. Call him Wayne. You're beautiful as always. He will be in civilian clothes. And you're shoes are fine you dork."

Dad must have seen us pull into the driveway because he was waiting at the door as we walked up the porch steps. I ran to him, "Daddy!"

"Hi baby girl," he said giving me a huge hug. He let me go and turned to Paige.

Paige stepped forward and shook dad's hand firmly. "Pleasure to meet you, Wayne. I'm Paige McCullers."

Dad straightened to his full height and put on his "serious face." _Oh great_ I thought to myself. "That's Lt. Colonel Fields, ma'am."

"Oh, uh, I'm sorry Sir, I mean Lt. Colonel Fields," she stammered, giving me a hard look.

I hit him on the arm. "Dad, I told you to behave." I looked over to Paige. "Sorry, I told him not to do this. He always tries to scare my friends."

He leaned back and laughed after slapping Paige good-naturedly on the back. "Pleasure's mine, Paige. Come on in, Pam's been buzzing around the kitchen all day."

My mom wanted to show Paige the progress that had been made on the azalea bush Paige helped her rescue. After that we sat down to dinner. Things were going well until my dad misspoke. "So Paige, I imagine being down south now is an adjustment. Nice girl like you though probably has the southern boys lined up."

Mom gave dad a look. Paige gave me a look. Dad just looked confused at the reactions he was seeing. "Um, not exactly, Wayne," Paige said, filling the silence.

"Wayne, remember, I told you…Paige is…you know," she said nudging her head in Paige's direction. I wanted to crawl under the table. The hairs on the back of my neck started standing up. I did not foresee the rest of this conversation going smoothly.

"That's right. Sorry, I forgot," he said looking to Paige. He tried to recover, "Imagine that you have the girls lined up then."

Paige smiled at his attempt to smooth things over. "Well, I don't think my girlfriend would appreciate that." My eyes widened immediately and I looked down to my plate to cover my reaction. _What is she doing_ I panicked to myself.

"You really are dating another woman," my mom asked to Paige. She nodded her head yes. Mom sat her fork down and looked at Paige across the table from her. "Paige," she said, shaking her head. "What do your parents think of this girlfriend?"

"My parents really like her. They know how much I love her and they support me. They support us together."

Dad and I were no longer eating. We were watching the conversation take place around us; neither one of us knowing how to stop the train that was quickly detaching from the rails.

"Your parents must be quite a bit more lenient than I would be. I'd never allow it," my mom said adamantly.

Enough was enough. "Mom, I think you've said more than enough. Neither Paige, nor anyone, has to defend themselves to you."

Paige put her hand up. "No, it's alright." Paige pinned my mom with her eyes. It wasn't an aggressive stare but it was one that showed Paige would not be backing down. "Pam, my parents love me unconditionally. Is me being a lesbian an adjustment to them? Yes. Do they shun me because of it? No. They accept me for who I am and who I love. There is no 'allowing' to it."

"There is in this home." I could feel tears start to prick my eyes. My mom just made it perfectly clear, without meaning to directly, that Paige and I wouldn't be welcome. That I with any girlfriend wouldn't be welcome.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Paige said. "Fortunately for me my parents don't feel the same. I'd only hope that if the circumstances were ever turned, and you had found yourself with a gay son or daughter, you'd have come to your senses."

I couldn't take anymore of this. Tears were streaming down my face at what Paige was just subjected to by my mother. I stood and said to my mom in a surprisingly calm but icy tone, "I am ashamed to call you my mother." I turned to my dad, "Daddy, I love you but I'm sorry, we have to go." Then I turned to Paige and pulled her from her seat.

"Happy Thanksgiving," we both said as we exited the dining room and made our way to the front door.

I was practically bawling as we got into my car. "Paige, I'm so sorry. I love you so much. I'm so sorry."

Remarkably, Paige was holding herself together. I don't know how she was but she was a pillar of strength before me. "Emily, it's ok. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to antagonize her, but I couldn't let her keep saying that awful stuff."

"Don't you dare apologize, Paige. What my mom said was nothing but pure ignorance."

"I had no idea she felt that strongly," Paige said, giving me a sad look. "But don't worry, we'll work through it, she'll get there."

I shook my head. Paige did not know Pam Fields the way I do. Despite her gross display at dinner, Pam Fields was a very nice woman, but she was set in her ways and unwavering in her opinions and believes. "No, she won't Paige. She will never accept us. She will never accept me."

Paige kept trying to reassure me that things would work out. I wanted to believe her. I wanted to so powerfully. But I couldn't shake the feeling that this was the start to something bad.


End file.
